Posts tagged ‘worry’

A Book Look: Ruby the Copycat & Penny and Her Marble

Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS /

Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS /

Why should an adult read a children’s book?

Well, first of all it’s FUN.  They can bring back childhood memories.  And lately I’m realizing that there are some great lessons in there for us, too.

Take Ruby the Copycat, for instance.  I chose this book for one of my tutoring students because it was recommended for practicing the ISAT Reading Extended Response, with a focus on theme.  The book is about a new girl, Ruby, who wants to fit in.  She immediately starts copying things that her new friend has and does.  It takes a broken friendship and a nudge from her teacher for Ruby to finally appreciate her own talents and start being herself.

This sounds like your typical children’s lesson, but then I thought: “Hey!  This applies to me, too!”   My intuitive health analysis said that I desire to align my vibration with others — expecting others to bring me up — when I actually need to hold my own vibration strong enough to lift others.  So, I am Ruby.  We both have come to recognize our own gifts and are learning to be ourselves.

Penny and her Marble comes from my tutoring student, and she summarized it as follows: Penny finds a marble outside her neighbor’s house and keeps it.  As time passes she begins to dwell on it, worrying that her neighbor is upset that it’s missing.  Her worries cause her to lose her appetite and have nightmares, so Penny finally brings it back to her neighbor, only to discover that her neighbor had left the marble there on purpose, hoping somebody would find it and enjoy it.

For my tutoring student the lesson was “Don’t take things that don’t belong to you.”  But it’s about more than that.  This is a story about the importance of communication.  How often do we dwell, worrying about something we did or said to another person, only to find out later that they hadn’t given it a second thought?  (Way guilty here!)  If Penny had confronted her neighbor immediately, she would have saved herself an upset stomach and a sleepless night.  How many of us have experienced the same?

So, don’t be afraid to pick up a children’s book.  They’re for grownups, too!

Have you reread a childhood favorite recently?  See if it applies to you today!  (And please share. :-))


Image courtesy of antpkr/".

Image courtesy of antpkr/”.

The past does not define me, but guide me.

I have no space for worry, only for expansion.

“Withering Away”: A Lesson In Being Comfortable with the Physical Self

Image courtesy of ponsulak /

Image courtesy of ponsulak /

I’ve become more sensitive to comments about my weight lately.  I’ve been reflecting on it because I can’t decide if the comments are a bit stronger lately or if I’m just more sensitive to them now because I’m insecure about my body.  Many people have commented that I have lost weight.  That is a fact, and I think that’s why that isolated comment doesn’t affect me.   But I’ve gotten some other comments, too.  One person told me I was “withering away”.  Someone else called me a “bean pole.”  Another person asked if I was sick and  hoped I would have some meat.   I have noticed that it’s just a few people, though, so I question if I’m overreacting.

So, I have lost a lot of weight.  You’d think that would be great, but I’ve never had any intention of losing any.   I’ve been perfectly happy with my weight; it’s stayed static since high school (except for junior year in college when I got a belated “freshman 15”).  I mean, sure, I’ll go up 10 pounds or go down a few pounds, but I’ve always hovered around the same number.  I used to be a teacher, and I’d always lose weight during the school year from stress and on-the-go breakfasts and lunches.  Then, in the lazy summer I’d get it back again.

Ever since I’ve started working at a warehouse, though, I’ve lost even more weight.  It may have been aided by my vegetarianism, but I doubt it — that was a half a year before I noticed any real change.  I was concerned for a while, though.  My weight was even less than I’d been in high school, and I thought I could see more of my ribs.  My pants were falling down; my shirts were looking sloppy.  Standing in my regular clothes and looking in the mirror, it looked like I was shrinking.  I was also pretty hungry a lot.  So, I began to worry that maybe I wasn’t taking care of myself.

But then I came to accept myself and realized I was fine.  I have a very active job — a lot of walking, lifting, and pushing —  and I satisfy my hunger by snacking more throughout the workday and preparing sturdier lunches.  I’ve noticed that my back legs have become solid muscle, and I can actually see my abs (although I think they’ve retreated again after 2 weeks off and a ridiculous amount of Christmas goodies!)  Also, my weight has been stable for a while.  It has stopped dropping and has even gone up some.  Most importantly, I’ve been getting protein and vitamins, I’ve never felt a drop in energy, my coloring has been good, I haven’t gotten sick, I’ve had a healthy appetite, and I’m stronger than ever.  (Can someone who is unhealthy bike 100 miles in one day??)

So, the important thing is that I feel secure in myself.  Before this year, people would call me thin and skinny, and I would laugh it off, knowing my body was fine.  But I would like to share that it can hurt be be judged as “underweight,” just as it’s hurtful to be judged “overweight.”  I know that I myself can learn from this lesson, and I intend to.

“Slow Down!”: Addendum

Do your visualizations match your words?

This is what I was contemplating this morning during my meditation.  I was feeling depressed this morning and trying to figure out why.  Finally, after letting my mind run a while with thoughts and thoughts and thoughts, I got to the meat of the issue: I was still visualizing what I didn’t want.  My words were saying one thing, but I was still picturing, thus still living in what I didn’t want.

It can be difficult trying to visualize a totally new image for my life.  What does it look like to have space and get things done without stress and worry?  To not be rushing?  To be relaxed?  I don’t feel like I have a lot of life memory to draw from.  But that’s ok.  Baby steps.  At 8:30, I will be done with this post.  At 8:45 I will be done taking care of Bowser and be pulling the garbage/recycling cans out and be on my way to work.  I will have a relaxing drive to work because I’ve checked the traffic.

I’m on my way.

666 Again

ID-100192645 ID-100192645ID-100192645I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned the 66 or 666 number combination before. It popped up a lot in my life last year.  I saw it earlier this year when I applied to be an extra in Transformers 4.  (Still holding out for something good, there!)  But today it hit me with a vengeance, so I thought it worth exploring again.  It hit me most this morning, first in the license plate on the merging car in front of me, and soon after as I glanced at my odometer —  106662, soon to be 106666.  Then later it popped out at me again at the warehouse on the ISBN ending in 666.

I knew this combination; I had a recollection that it had something to do with money/money worries (Don’t worry!)  and could have left it at that.   But since it hit me pretty significantly, I figured I’d better pay more attention.  This is what Joanne Sacred Scribes says about 666:

Angel Number 666 suggests that you may be focusing on the material and monetary world, rather than your personal spirituality and family life.  Your angels ask that you raise your vibration and maintain a positive attitude and mind-set in regards to all aspects of your life to ensure that all goes according to Divine plan.  Trust that improvements are on the way into your life.

The repeating number 666 prompts you to focus upon your inner spirituality and Divine life purpose and soul mission, rather than on earthly, material concerns.  Give any fears of loss or lack to the angels to heal and transmute, and be open to receiving and accepting help and assistance from your angels and other people in your life.  All you need to do is ask.

Yes, this has been a recurring theme in my life in the past year or so.  My angels keep telling me that I am worrying too much, especially about financial concerns, and I know am.  I think about money obsessively, and not in the good abundant way, more of in the oh-my- goodness-will-we- make-it?” way.  And I’m beginning to realize the angels are right.  I could use a good chill pill. And maybe some affirmations:

“I have abundance.”  “I have all I could ever need and want — and then some — and more is coming my way”!  “I am truly blessed in so many ways.”

It’s funny — I’ve been wanting to use my angel cards again to get in touch with my spiritual friends.  I’ve been thinking about how I miss their wisdom, love, and guidance.   In the meantime, I think they got tired of waiting — they brought the message straight to me!



Images courtesy of gubgib/

Where Do You Spend Your Time?

"Just Awake" courtesy of luigi diamanti/

“Just Awake” courtesy of luigi diamanti/

Time has been on my mind a lot this past month.  It’s something that I want desperately and also something that stresses me out immeasurably.  I know I’ve come to this Earth with many, many lessons to learn.  I have a feeling I’m not even aware of at least half of them.  Today I woke up with the intention to prioritize my time.

How do I spend the majority of my time?  By my estimation, these are the top areas:

1) Sleep  2) Metaphysics  3) Work  4) Worry  5) Facebook/E-mail/Other Internet  6) Castle/Other relaxation.  7) Cleaning

1) The greatest chunk of my day is spent on sleeping (1/3 or more), and I’m still struggling to get up early.  I’m beginning to think that I should just let myself sleep and get things done later in the day.  Since I don’t have an early morning job, my mind and body see no reason to leave happy-subconscious-land.  And so I continue to berate myself — later, having to forgive myself — for not getting up on time.  So, for this week, I’m allowing myself the extra sleep.  I still need to figure out why I don’t want to leave the bed — I know there is something that needs to be addressed there — but for this week I’m not going to fight it, and I’m going to see what happens.

2) I don’t spent tons of time on Metaphysics per say, but I know I’m getting in at least an hour every day between writing down my dreams, doing my exercises, sometimes reading a book for class, and making connections to metaphysics in my daily life.  It is a solid part of me now, and I’m glad for that consistency.

3 and 4)  These two need to go together because most of my worry is about work.  So, I’m either working or worrying about work.  This is something that I’ve been struggling with for a long time.  I thought it would go away when I left teaching full-time, and then teaching part-time.  Alas, the worries still hound me.  So, I’ve finally figured out that it’s not the job.  It’s me. I think staying in the moment could be a big help here.  Also, more time management.

5) I don’t spend as much time on the Internet as I have in the past.  I’m not on it as long.  But now I’m just checking it more frequently.  And now that I’m waiting to hear about a very exciting job opportunity, I feel I have even more of an excuse to come running back to my laptop every hour. (More on that in a future post.)  This is an area where I can definitely start looking at how I spend my time. (*I checked Facebook at least once while writing this blog.)

6) Something that Brian and I like to do together is watch a show together.  Though the shows are enjoyable, they are generally 45 minutes long, and one episode can turn into 2, or sometimes 3.  That’s 1.5 or 2ish hours gone from each day that I could be spending on creative outlets. So, this is another area I would like to explore.

7) Cleaning.  Ugh.  I do like cleaning sometimes.  In fact, I become an overly-zealous cleaner when I’m avoiding #3.  However, overall it seems to take so much time and effort, and neither Brian or I are neat-freaks, so preparing for company can be quite an ordeal.  We keep things pretty picked up for the most part, but the actual de-furring, dusting, vacuuming, and scrubbing are a struggle.  Mostly we are weekend warriors (or at least, I am) who spend half the day cleaning before a big event at our place.  This gets the job done, but, again, it’s a struggle and pretty unpleasant.  My latest cleaning project has been our new fish tank (new for us, but we got it off of Craigslist, so quite a bit of cleaning and prep has been required) that I plan on finishing after this post.  (Mind is beginning to worry about it as I type this.)

8) Yes, I know there’s no number 8.  This is the number that should be up there at the top.  It’s my creativity time.  Thankfully, I’m off to a good start today.  My tutoring lessons were cancelled for today, so I took the opportunity to write this blog, and I already feel much better for having done it.  I’m still struggling with resisting play time/creative time.  You’d think it would be easy to have fun, but I think creativity has seemed like another job/chore that I’m supposed to do each day, and that’s the mentality I’ve got to change.  Clearly playing around on the Internet and Castle are a lot easier for me to fall into, so I need to make sure my play time doesn’t resemble work time so much.

That’s my current status.  I’d like to see where I am in a week.  Also, I need to blog every day again.  I’m going to add that consistency to my daily metaphysics exercises.  I’m already in that habit, so I’m just going to pretend they go together.  So, you will be hearing from me again tomorrow. 🙂

Don’t Stop!: A Brake Light Story

"Business Team Carrying Books" courtesy of KROMKRATHOG/

“Business Team Carrying Books” courtesy of KROMKRATHOG/

Unfortunately,  if I have a major problem, I tend to obsess about it until it’s fixed.  Today it was a tail light that was out.  As I was leaving from tutoring, my boss happened to be leaving at the same time, and he called me to let me know that my left tail light was out.  He was concerned because he had seen a cop car come up behind me, and he was worried that I would tap my breaks and then get pulled over.  (By the way — so unfair that cops give you tickets for tail lights that are out.  I understand that it is dangerous,  but how the heck were you supposed to know about it??)

So, anyway, I didn’t get stopped, but I was rather paranoid about it on the way home and continued to obsess about it throughout the wonderful dinner that Brian had made for me (baked sweet potato, flavored mixed veggies, and spinach tortellini with marinara sauce and meatless meatballs . . . . Yum!)

Brian, obligingly put my worries to rest and began working on the issue, with me helping out the best I could.  He struggled with getting at the tail light in my crazy car, so I called up my dad who has two exact replicas of my same car.  (But apparently he has not as yet had the misfortune of having to deal with a malfunctioning tail light.)  He did have the excellent suggestion of looking at the owner’s manual of my car, which helped me diddly squat (the drawing was confusing!), but seemed functional enough for Brian to continue the project.  He opened the trunk and unscrewed some bizarre-looking screws, requiring tools that I cannot name — I wasn’t even sure I knew what needle-nosed pliers were, but apparently I guessed right —  and I got to see the inside of a tail light.  He did some testing, and it looked like the bulb still lit, so then he took a look at the fuse box (as I peeked over his shoulder, holding his iPhone flashlight app for light).  Suddenly the car seemed a little less of a magical mystery and more of an actual machine. . .

Then off to Sears we went, and we found the most helpful sales guy ever who led us to the bulb department and found us a box of fuses.  (We almost got a universal garage door opener for Brian’s car while we were there, but the price was a bit more than we had been willing to spend today.  Seriously, do not take your garage door openers for granted!) We came back, and Brian discovered  that the fuse was the wrong size, so he went back to the manual and switched out another fuse that was the same size (a fuse for the nonexistent sunroof, nonexistent power mirror, nonexistent OnStar, etc).  Turned the key, checked the break light, and still nothin’.  So, he went back to the bulb.  Pulled out the bulb, stuck in the new one, “Did it go on?”, a “Yes!”  (Bingo! ) and the scientific method came to its successful conclusion, my friends.

That’s enough for one evening.  Now I can get a good night’s sleep. . .

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