Posts tagged ‘visualization’

A Joyedian’s Tale: 10th Toastmasters Speech!


Below follows the script for my tenth Toastmasters speech (tomorrow!) — the culminating speech in the Competent Communication Manual.  Enjoy. 🙂

How to Plan and Have a Wedding in 6 Weeks or Less

I’ve always said that I hate planning, that I’m NOT a planner. 5 years ago my fiancée Brian and I got tired of calling each other “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” and were happy to advance to the “fiancée” stage after a proposal at Moraine Lake in July of 2012. However, I was not so eager to approach the daunting task of planning a wedding, and so I easily let it slide onto the back-burner. When circumstances changed, we moved up the date, setting up whirlwind wedding plans that actually went pretty smoothly. Here are 6 guidelines that made the event possible.

1.Have a clear purpose.

Having a clear purpose will keep you focused on your goal. Mine was health insurance.

 Do I love Brian? Yes. Do I want to spend my life with him? Yes. But was I ready to plan a wedding? Well . . . I had other things going on that seemed to require my attention. But. . . the law does require the ownership of health insurance, and according to the Illinois Department of Insurance, a partner may not go on the other partner’s insurance unless joined in a civil union or marriage. Though I was eager to move on from the Health Insurance Marketplace, I wasn’t sure I was ready to tie the knot so quickly, but after being dragged by a rope through the Marketplace maze the morning of November 28th, I quickly reconsidered. Thus, the planning began.

2. Give yourself a short deadline.

A 1955 Edition of The Economist defines Parkinson’s Law: “work expands to fill the time available for its completion.” Have you ever heard the saying: “ If you want something done, give it to a busy person?” expounds on this concept:

“An elderly lady of leisure can spend the entire day in writing and dispatching a postcard to her niece at Bognor Regis. An hour will be spent in finding the postcard, another in hunting for spectacles, half-an-hour in a search for the address, an hour and a quarter in composition, and twenty minutes in deciding whether or not to take an umbrella when going to the pillar-box in the next street. The total effort which would occupy a busy man for three minutes all told may in this fashion leave another person prostrate after a day of doubt, anxiety and toil.

(Perhaps you can relate?)

Once I decided I was getting married in a month-in-a-half, I had to become really strategic with my time. There were less options because there was a shorter time to think about things. I did almost all of my research and browsing on-line to save time, including dress and ring shopping.  This worked out great for me because I am generally not a big fan of shopping.

3. Have a clear vision.

 PsychologyToday says “Brain studies now reveal that thoughts produce the same mental instructions as actions. . . .It’s been found that mental practices can enhance motivation, increase confidence and self-efficacy, improve motor performance, prime your brain for success, and increase states of flow – all relevant to achieving your best life!”

I knew exactly what I wanted AND exactly what I DIDN’T want: Outside beach wedding in Cambria, California — YES. Big church wedding with reception hall—NO.  Hundreds of guests, invitations, and catering? NO. YES to ONLY immediate family, invited by phone, a simple restaurant reception meal, and some basic site-seeing. (It also helped that I had visited and fallen in love with the area a few years before and already envisioned getting married there.) Knowing exactly what I wanted made it easier to for me to direct my planning process.

4. STICK to the vision.

We were very clear on not opening Pandora’s box with invitations – no matter how awkward. Some were startled and jarred by our sudden, private wedding plans – and it made for some pretty awkward holiday reveals — but I knew I’d be miserable if I changed the wedding size or location. Stick to your guns, or you might go up in smoke.

5. Start with the basics.

Steven Covey’s Third Habit from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is to “Put First Things First” or “Execute on the most important priorities.”

He says: “To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize . . . there’s no need to overextend yourself. . . focus on your highest priorities.”

For me, this meant “chunking” and organizing by the order of importance.

Week one of wedding planning: letting guests know and securing a place to stay for the group, securing the wedding location, researching the specifics for getting legally married in California, and booking the flight out there.

Week 2: securing an officiator, making some reservations for the other events, ordering my dress and wedding rings.

Week 3: picking vows, securing a rental vehicle, and making arrangements for our 4 pets.

Week 4: trying on the dress, clothes for Brian, confirming pet arrangements, and final reservations.

Weeks 5 and 6: confirming with officiator, getting shoes, checking in with housing arrangement, checking in with guests, printing out all confirmations, and packing.

Done, done, done, done, and done!

6. Keep it simple.

Did you know that the origin of bouquets was either to mask the smell of the bride or   ward off evil spirits? Or that a bride’s attendants dressed like the bride to confuse evil spirits trying to spoil the bride’s happiness? Or that a wedding cake was born from a fertility rite? (

None of that for me! If it wasn’t necessary, I dropped it. Just immediate family. We take our own pictures. No bouquet. No bridesmaids or groomsman. No wedding cake. Basic rings, basic dress, basic hair, and a quick ceremony.  And a quick ceremony — that means we can stand! (No chairs! No setup!) No need for plan B: We use umbrellas if it rains! Simple restaurant reception. Get us in, get us out, and spend the rest of our time enjoying California.

How about you? Are you ready now to plan your next momentous event?   Through this process I’ve discovered I actually do enjoy planning! What a difference a quick wedding makes. If I’d followed my own advice, maybe I could have gotten married 5 years ago!

Wins and Weaknesses Wednesday: My Vision


Today I’m making my bold move. I’m sharing my vision statement with the world.

Mary Morrissey says to be careful who you share your dream with.  This makes sense.  It’s so easy to kill a dream; dreams are so fragile.  They require belief.  But it’s also important to claim our dreams.  I’ve reached a critical point in my life; I know it’s time to decide, really decide for my dream.  I’m not saying this is written in stone; as my coach and I say, this is a “living document.”  I may continue to tweak a few things, and I can certainly be more detailed in some areas.  But the core of this dream is true for me, and I’m going for it.  I’m not turning back.  I’m going to be the example, now and in all of my future interactions with clients and anyone that I touch.  I know that by believing in myself, I am able to believe in each and every one of you. Here we go, and here’s to dreaming!

Vision Statement July 2016

I am so happy and grateful now that I have time and money freedom. I feel so much peace, such serenity, knowing that not only are my credit cards clear and paid off every month and my investments paid back in full, but I have $12,000 in savings and am contributing healthily to my retirement fund and other investments.

I have a great schedule. I work Monday through Thursday coaching, and I speak/present on weekends, traveling twice a month and having the other two weekends off. Also, every three months I take at least a full week’s vacation to a destination of my choice, and I plan to see the whole world! I’ve been to many places. I’ve walked El Camino from France to Spain, I’ve visited Mallorca and Barcelona. I’ve been to Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Australia, and Macchu Picchu. I’ve traveled to the 48 contiguous states, driven up the California coast with Brian, and traveled down the Mississippi with my mom. I also got married to my sweetheart, Brian, in Hawaii. I saw Doreen Virtue and visited with her there. When we came back, we had a huge reception outside our house, with grilling, shared food, and dancing.

My health is great. I enjoy exercise, and every day I spend some loving attention on my body. Sometimes I walk, other times swim, bike, dance, do weights, or do yoga. I eat very well, mostly vegetarian at home, and experiencing the local fair when I travel. (I love food!) My personal chef takes great care of me and helps me stay on track with a tasty, healthy diet.

I’m very connected with the angels. I meditate for at least 15 minutes daily, and I am constantly getting quiet and still, checking in with my inner self and the Divine. I am a clear channel and have been a vessel for healing, insight, and inspiration. I really do feel like the Divine’s eyes, ears, mouth, hands, and feet on Earth.

Brian and I are doing very well. He is a Master Coordinator for Shaklee and feeling very confident and successful.   I am a successful coach and “joyedian.” I speak, I dance, I sing, I heal, and I’m really funny! I am asked to speak all over the world and paid to travel and present. I have earned as much as 1 million dollars in all of this, and it symbolizes the millions I’ve touched through coaching, speaking, entertaining, and healing. I love being a partner in believing for my groups. I “turn the lights on” as individuals begin fulfilling their dreams and really believing in themselves. I’ve been interviewed on ABC, CBS, and WGN, and I’ve been on Dancing with the Stars! I’ve also written many books, some mythological and symbolic of the human journey, others are inspirational nonfiction, and still others are metaphysical stories for children. Some have even been New York Times best sellers!

I am grateful each and every morning that my eyes open once again, knowing I have more fun to experience and joy to share!

I am very grateful for this or something better. ❤

Much love, many blessings.  Remember to believe in yourself, and believe in your dreams! ❤

Focus on the “What”, and Stay Awake for the “How”

ID-100144737The 2nd habit of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is begin with the end in mind.  I read this years ago, but today I finally made the metaphysical connection.  The “end” that Covey speaks of is the same “what” that Mary Morrissey speaks of in her DreamBuilder and Morning Mentor programs.  As Mary says, our inner mind understands pictures, and the more clearly we can image our goals, purposes, and ideals, the more the universe can bring together the “how”s to make our “what”s happen.

What does this mean?  We get clear on what we want, what we really want.  What are our dream?  We see these dreams as clearly as if we are living those dreams today, as I’m learning in DreamBuilder.  We step into those dreams.  And then we shine the light of our attention on those dreams, just as I’ve been learning in the School of Metaphysics in the visualization lessons. (I love how everything I’ve been learning is coming together!)  Meanwhile, we don’t worry about how it’s going to happen.  We focus on clearly presenting what our dream is to the universe, so that our subconscious mind (inner mind) can do what it does best.

As we clarify our dream, we keep ourselves open and receptive to what the subconscious mind has brought for us.  (It may come in unexpected ways!)  I love the story of the man praying to be saved from the flood:  As the waters began to rise, he prayed to be saved.  A neighbor in a canoe came by, but he said “No thanks, God will save me.”  Police came by in a motorboat, but again, he waved them on.  Finally, the waters were so high that he was forced onto the roof, and a helicopter dropped down a rope.  The man insisted that he was trusting in God and stayed put.  So, the man drowned.  When he got to heaven he questioned God about this, and God replied, “I gave you the canoe, the motorboat, and the helicopter!”  We may have a goal or dream and put our attention on it and pray and pray and pray for it to happen, but if we don’t keep our mind open to the possibilities — the subconscious mind is full of infinitely amazing possibilities — we stay blindly stuck in our limitations and miss wonderful, fulfilling opportunities.

In today’s Morning Mentor, Mary encouraged her listeners to focus on 3 times in our lives when everything really came together for us.  I’m going to list my 3 now, and I encourage you to do the same and then to reflect on this throughout the day:

  1. Studying abroad in Mexico.  I could feel it.  I knew I was going.  I was scared; I didn’t know how all of the details were going to work out (and some I figured out after I got there!), but I knew I was going.  I just knew it.  And it was one of the best experiences of my life.
  2. Getting a 2nd dog.  Brian planted the thought of getting a new dog in my head, and I ran with it.  It was so firmly entrenched that I picked up “Leia” a few weeks later from the local animal control, and we all adore her.  Though she was not the dog we’d originally imagined, and she turned out to be quite a handful, she fits in perfectly in our household.
  3. My fiancee Brian.  A few months before Brian and I started dating I became entrenched in the idea that I was going to have an intimate relationship that year.  I got what I’d wanted and more, a relationship that has lasted 7 years and that continues to blossom and grow.

What are your 3? (I would love it if you would share your stories in the comments below!) I wish you all wonder, blessings, and the fulfillment of your dreams.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at


I’ve been noticing some movement happening in my “wants” lately.  For one, I put off visiting a particular preschool for months, and I finally connected with the director this week and had a really positive interaction with her.  Also, I had “daily yoga” on my 10 Most Wanted list, and I just this week got the idea to see what I could find on youtube.  I found a fun and quirky yoga instructor who has 30 days of yoga!  I’m up to 3 day in a row of yoga, and my body has never felt better.

I change my 10 Most Wanted List quite a bit.  My Creative Mind report and Intuition Report both talk about how I lose site of the “source” or the purpose behind my desires.  Sometimes I lose interest.  Sometimes I lose hope.  I’ve been pleased to find some things manifesting that I thought I wasn’t giving enough attention.  Now I’d like to be a little more proactive.  I’d like to keep my eyes on the prize.

Below is my current 10 Most Wanted List.  Some things on this list include elements of what I’d had on there before.  I’ve made sure everything on this list is something I actually “want” this time.  (No should wants!)  I look forward to playing with this a bit.  I’d like to be a manifesting machine!

10 Most Wanted

  1. 8 added SOM students, and I have at least 1 student from each of the zodiac signs! (I already have 5 represented!)
  2. 4 guitar songs learned to memory
  3. 8 EEE students
  4. 3 new outfits for my new personal expression
  5. 1 art activity per week (or weekly Meetup art event)
  6. Organized Office
  7. Read 1 book/week
  8. A published book
  9. $10,000 in savings.
  10. Graduate the 2nd cycle

What are your 10 Most Wanteds?

Love and joy to each and every one of you. ❤

Dreams (and Angels) Say: Be POSITIVE!

"Image courtesy of Idea go /".

Image courtesy of Idea go /

I’m very into numbers, and I’ve consistently been seeing the numbers “666” for a few years now.  It’s only recently that I interpreted that combo using Doreen Virtue’s angel numbers book: “Your thoughts are too focused on material illusions.  Raise your thoughts spiritually to get your thoughts back on track.”  This is the message that I keep getting from my angels.  Think positively.  Think positively.  THINK POSITIVELY!  I still haven’t gotten the lesson.  And yesterday my thoughts were particularly tumultuous.  So my subconscious responded in kind:

I dreamt a lot about work. . . At one point we were pouring oil over our heads.  I put some on gingerly, and then someone poured it over my head as if I’d needed it.

I knew head was related to thoughts.  The oil seemed to be related to purification.  “Ointment” happens to be right above “oil” in The Dreamer’s Dictionary.  Both terms had explanations that make sense to my life right now.  (Coincidentally, “office” is all on the same page, so I will use that, as well.)

An excerpt from “Oil“:  “Oil represents energy.  Become more sensitive to the energy expended in thought and action. . . It requires less energy to think positively, directing the mind toward something that is desirable, than to think negatively, trying to avoid or escape something feared or unwanted.”

Ointment: “Ointment represents potential healing. . . .  When thoughts are productive for self and others, healing can take place.”  (What’s the part that is healed in my dream?  My head!  My thoughts.)

Workplace: “Office indicates a place in mind where learning and growth can occur.  . .  .  Do I view life for the learning it brings or as a series of burdensome crises to be solved?”

I have become more and more aware of my negative thoughts lately (especially since it’s being brought to my attention!)  I’ve even noticed how I’m drawing more of what I don’t want to myself as I’m having these unproductive ideas.

Application: I want to be more positive.  I feel the negative thinking patterns are ingrained within me, and I’m not being attentive to myself and building my self image.

These are my goals for this:

1. Give myself time for me to do whatever.  (Goal: 1 hour a day)

2. Find employment that fits more in-line with my desires and allows more time for me to pursue my interests.

2. Monitor my thoughts.  Reframe negative, unproductive thoughts by finding purpose.  Forgive myself and others.

This is important for me and may be an ongoing project.

Dreams: You did WHAT?? with WHOM??

Image courtesy of artur84 /

Image courtesy of artur84 /

The dream is always about the dreamer.  I know this.  However, I still find some sex dreams disturbing — depending on who is participating with me!  Your sexual preference is not important to your subconscious.  In fact, reality as we know it is not really important to your subconscious.  The subconscious focuses on basic symbols.

Yesterday morning I had a very vivid sex dream; one of the most vivid I’ve ever had.  And it was with a woman.  Normally this is nothing for me, but I know the woman very well, and so it was definitely weird.  However, I moved on, knowing that the woman was really just another part of me.  People in our dreams are aspects of ourselves, and people of the same sex as we are represent conscious aspects of ourselves.  But then in the interpretation I was a bit stumped: a woman and a man having intercourse in a dream represent creation, so what about two people of the same sex?   I knew I’d heard something about this before, but I couldn’t remember, and I couldn’t find it in my dream dictionary.

This is where having a teacher comes in handy.  I asked my metaphysics teacher about it in class that same night: “Does this mean that I’m getting more intimate with my conscious mind?” I asked.   “Yes. . .” she said, but she went on to ask me what else that meant.  She said I was leaving subconscious out of it; I was attempting to create with just my conscious mind.

But I still didn’t get it.  (What does that mean?)

“What’s something you have on your 10 Most Wanted List?” she then asked me.

“A finished basement,” I responded (my latest project).

“Well, using your conscious mind might involve figuring out the cost, and checking if you have the money in the bank, and going to the store, and picking out what you need. Using your subconscious mind would involve visualization and using the Universal Laws.  Like, imagining  exactly how you want the  basement to look and putting your attention on it being that way.  Maybe you meditate on how you will get the money, or give to others and claim 10-fold, so that the universe will help you receive what you need.”

Ahh!  Now this made perfect sense to me.  Yes, I had been very detailed and focused on the physical elements of the project.  And I had been very pleased with this.   I had done some basic visualization but had not asked for specific guidance from the universe and had not had faith in the abundance available.  In a nutshell, I was all in my head, not unified with myself for ultimate creation.  And this was not just about the basement.  I could see it playing out in many aspects of my life.  I’m trying to add more visualization to my life little-by-little.

Have you had any freaky dreams?  They are probably actually more normal than you think!  Now I’m off to bed.  I barely remembered anything this morning, and I want some new learning material!

Crazy Winter Adventures

Take that, Winter!

Figure 1: Take that, Winter! 
So, really, there is only one “Figure.”  Do I just put “Figure”?  That looks weird.

Often I question why I live in Chicagoland, and last week was certainly one of those times. But here I live, and I’ve got a mortgage and some pretty nifty friends and family who are all crazy enough to live here, too, so I plan to make the best of things. That means last week I had to gear up for the cold. Polar cold.

We Illinoisans have been spoiled by some pretty mild winters the last couple years. (I fondly remember hiking without a jacket at Starved Rock — in January!)  So, I’d forgotten what real cold feels like and acts like, and I needed to adjust.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday morning were predicted to be wicked cold (in the negatives), and unfortunately, I only got Monday off.  So, I resigned myself to getting prepared, and I had one question:  At what point does my face turn blue and my fingers fall off??  According to the news: within minutes.  So, I geared up. (See Figure 1)

Warm weather checklist:

  • 2 or 3 pairs of socks — including some thermal ones
  • long underwear (top and bottom)
  • heavy sweats
  • T-shirt, long-sleeved shirt, sweatshirt, and jacket
  • gloves
  • scarf
  • hat (with hood up)
  • ninja mask (face mask)
  • tennis shoes (my boots finally just came in the mail, and they are the best thing EVER)

I also made sure I had a sleeping bag, some water, and snacks.

Everything almost went off without a hitch.  The warehouse where I work was actually decently warm.  I was more confident in the snow, managing the skidding and taking things extra slow, especially around the turns and approaching lights and stop signs.  The highway was a mess, but I took the alternate route, and I made it to work without a problem.  I made sure I warmed up my car for 5 minutes during lunch, and everything was going smoothly.

And then Tuesday evening I got into my car, turned the key, got a “vrrp” and then. . . nothing.  I tried again. . . nothing.  I couldn’t believe it.  The one reason I had considered calling in sick — and it had happened to me.  I stilled my mind and worked on the next step.  The maintenance guy.  Find the maintenance guy.  2nd shift was still going, and my friend in maintenance was still in there somewhere.  So, I gave up on my car and went back in to work to find him.  He came back with me, lugging some kind of charger thing and proceeded to hook it up in my trunk. (Yes, my battery is in my trunk).   We waited a little while, and then I tried the ignition again.  Vrrp. . .nothing.

Now I was getting a bit concerned.  He continued to charge the battery and asked to poke around under my hood for  a bit (unsure about my battery really being in the trunk).  Meanwhile, my fingers were starting to get cold — I don’t have heavy duty gloves; Honestly, I try to get away without wearing gloves as much as possible, and I’d go without a coat, too, if I could get away with it! —  and I started worrying that my hands were going to shrivel up and become smurf blue.

I decided it was time to put some metaphysics learning to use.  First, I sent my car light energy.  Then, not sure if sending energy worked for cars, I tried visualization — recreating the sound and feel of the car revving up with confidence and gusto. I then repeated this image a few times in my mind.

I’m not sure if it was the maintenance guy’s gizmo, or the light energy, or the visualization — or all 3 –but when I tried the car the next time, it gave a hearty, unhesitating start, exactly as I’d imagined it.  I thanked my friend profusely and hurried into my car, rubbing my hands together like two sticks making a fire, and I let the car warm up.  “That’s my girl!” I crowed to my metal baby, and I couldn’t wait to get home, kiss the floor, and hug and kiss my honey (maybe not in that order).

And this week I’ve officially become one of those crazy people who thinks 30 degrees is spring weather and goes about willy-nilly without gloves and hat.  But, I mean, can you blame me?  Winter was 50 degrees ago!

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