Posts tagged ‘time’

Release Time


What are you currently focusing on?

I feel like I’ve been hitting some big walls lately.  The biggest is my frustration with not moving “fast enough.”  The message I keep receiving (from intuition, from my environment, etc) is to let go of the concept of time.  It doesn’t even really exist.  It’s a manmade construct.  As I was walking back to the house today, I really noticed the trees in front of me in a new way.  I realized that though they seem static to me, they are also growing, moving and thriving.  Do the trees complain about not growing “fast enough”?  Not likely.  They understand the universal flow.

Perhaps this is what my intuitive report meant by growing close to God through nature.  Nature innately understands what I sometimes miss.  It was good to soak up some of that good sun today.  I barely even noticed the cold.

Much love and many blessings. ❤

Fun Friday: Storytime — Busy Beatriz Bee

ID-10027051Beatriz Bee was always busy.  She had exercises that she did in the morning.  She left early to make sure she was on time for work in the hive, and she worked a full 8.5 day making honey (no paid lunch).  In the evenings Beatriz took bee classes, taught bee classes, tutored little bees, attended and led bee events, played bee-ball, blogged her bee thoughts, and checked bee-mail and BeeBook.  On the weekends she tutored more little bees, attended bee meetings, and went to family bee events.  Beatriz Bee thought she was doing this because she needed to work.  She needed the money.  And she needed to be busy. Beatriz thought she was a very happy little bee when she was so “productive.”

But Beatriz realized she was not a happy little bee.  She didn’t actually like working so much.  In fact, she didn’t know if she liked working much at all.  And it was spring — busy season — and Beatriz’s life got more and more hectic.  Beatriz Bee began to droop.  Her heart wasn’t in her honey-making.  She stopped looking for little bees to teach.  Beatriz Bee sunk lower and lower.

After one particular low day of honey-making Beatriz Bee wanted to give up completely.  She didn’t see a way out of her crazy bee life, and she didn’t want to be a bee anymore.

Thankfully, that same day Beatriz Bee also had one of her little bee students for a tutoring session.  And she realized she had enjoyed tutoring more than she had enjoyed her work in the hive.   Beatriz looked at what in her life fulfilled her little bee self.  And she looked at what didn’t.  And so Beatriz bee decided to quit her job in the hive.  She decided she was going to tutor more little bees and look for other creative ways to use her other bee talents.

Beatriz was a bit scared: Would she have enough abundance?  Would she like her new ventures?  Somewhere deep inside Beatriz Bee knew that she would.  Her little antennae were perked, her eyes and stripes were bright, and Beatriz Bee felt ready to face the world.

Where Do You Spend Your Time?

"Just Awake" courtesy of luigi diamanti/

“Just Awake” courtesy of luigi diamanti/

Time has been on my mind a lot this past month.  It’s something that I want desperately and also something that stresses me out immeasurably.  I know I’ve come to this Earth with many, many lessons to learn.  I have a feeling I’m not even aware of at least half of them.  Today I woke up with the intention to prioritize my time.

How do I spend the majority of my time?  By my estimation, these are the top areas:

1) Sleep  2) Metaphysics  3) Work  4) Worry  5) Facebook/E-mail/Other Internet  6) Castle/Other relaxation.  7) Cleaning

1) The greatest chunk of my day is spent on sleeping (1/3 or more), and I’m still struggling to get up early.  I’m beginning to think that I should just let myself sleep and get things done later in the day.  Since I don’t have an early morning job, my mind and body see no reason to leave happy-subconscious-land.  And so I continue to berate myself — later, having to forgive myself — for not getting up on time.  So, for this week, I’m allowing myself the extra sleep.  I still need to figure out why I don’t want to leave the bed — I know there is something that needs to be addressed there — but for this week I’m not going to fight it, and I’m going to see what happens.

2) I don’t spent tons of time on Metaphysics per say, but I know I’m getting in at least an hour every day between writing down my dreams, doing my exercises, sometimes reading a book for class, and making connections to metaphysics in my daily life.  It is a solid part of me now, and I’m glad for that consistency.

3 and 4)  These two need to go together because most of my worry is about work.  So, I’m either working or worrying about work.  This is something that I’ve been struggling with for a long time.  I thought it would go away when I left teaching full-time, and then teaching part-time.  Alas, the worries still hound me.  So, I’ve finally figured out that it’s not the job.  It’s me. I think staying in the moment could be a big help here.  Also, more time management.

5) I don’t spend as much time on the Internet as I have in the past.  I’m not on it as long.  But now I’m just checking it more frequently.  And now that I’m waiting to hear about a very exciting job opportunity, I feel I have even more of an excuse to come running back to my laptop every hour. (More on that in a future post.)  This is an area where I can definitely start looking at how I spend my time. (*I checked Facebook at least once while writing this blog.)

6) Something that Brian and I like to do together is watch a show together.  Though the shows are enjoyable, they are generally 45 minutes long, and one episode can turn into 2, or sometimes 3.  That’s 1.5 or 2ish hours gone from each day that I could be spending on creative outlets. So, this is another area I would like to explore.

7) Cleaning.  Ugh.  I do like cleaning sometimes.  In fact, I become an overly-zealous cleaner when I’m avoiding #3.  However, overall it seems to take so much time and effort, and neither Brian or I are neat-freaks, so preparing for company can be quite an ordeal.  We keep things pretty picked up for the most part, but the actual de-furring, dusting, vacuuming, and scrubbing are a struggle.  Mostly we are weekend warriors (or at least, I am) who spend half the day cleaning before a big event at our place.  This gets the job done, but, again, it’s a struggle and pretty unpleasant.  My latest cleaning project has been our new fish tank (new for us, but we got it off of Craigslist, so quite a bit of cleaning and prep has been required) that I plan on finishing after this post.  (Mind is beginning to worry about it as I type this.)

8) Yes, I know there’s no number 8.  This is the number that should be up there at the top.  It’s my creativity time.  Thankfully, I’m off to a good start today.  My tutoring lessons were cancelled for today, so I took the opportunity to write this blog, and I already feel much better for having done it.  I’m still struggling with resisting play time/creative time.  You’d think it would be easy to have fun, but I think creativity has seemed like another job/chore that I’m supposed to do each day, and that’s the mentality I’ve got to change.  Clearly playing around on the Internet and Castle are a lot easier for me to fall into, so I need to make sure my play time doesn’t resemble work time so much.

That’s my current status.  I’d like to see where I am in a week.  Also, I need to blog every day again.  I’m going to add that consistency to my daily metaphysics exercises.  I’m already in that habit, so I’m just going to pretend they go together.  So, you will be hearing from me again tomorrow. 🙂

Today’s “Yay”s

Well, “Today’s Yays” are actually yesterday’s yays because today was really yesterday because I’m scheduling this post ahead of time, so ya know.  Anyway. . .

Zumba was fantastic.  I made myself try the full hour, and it felt great.  Yes, I was exhausted by the end, but I felt refreshed and like I worked some muscles that hadn’t been worked in a while.

The weather is beautiful.  I don’t know why I’m not sitting outside enjoying it right now.  Maybe I will after I finish this.

Freebie time.  I had a cancellation in my tutoring.  Not great money-wise, I know, but I always appreciate surprise free time.  It’s like the universe gave me a bonus to have a little more fun.

Fabulous backwards walk.  Got some great sun time in my cutoff shorts and sun top.

Breaded fake chicken.  I have decided I could probably eat most anything as long as it has breading on it.  (Except for those fried peppers I had that one time  . . .)

Sweet things.  I asked Brian to pick me (us . . . ?) up something on his way back from yoga.  Probably ice cream.  🙂  I don’t really need any more dairy and sugar, as my poor skin has broken out like crazy.  But, yes, I DO need more!  It is decided.  Can’t wait. 😀

Finally, I read a post with essays by unemployed people and watched a video on a homeless person, and while these posts were depressing and made me feel I need to be more involved in helping these people, it also reaffirmed that I am truly blessed in what I have.  I will end with this tidbit from a post on Facebook by “The Idealist.” (Yes, sometimes Facebook actually does cheer me up, too.):

(I need to be more like this guy.)

Takes a Little Time. . . Change

"Sunset Street" courtesy of sakhorn38/

“Sunset Street” courtesy of sakhorn38/

I’m diggin’ the time change.  I knew I would.  What’s not to like?  A little darker when I’m usually asleep anyway, and lighter when I’m heading home.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays I wake up to the freshness of a new morning, driving through dawn. It feels like those cool, fresh mornings at the onset of our family road trips of my childhood, when we’d drive to Ohio to see the relatives.  The car is packed, and the world is not quite awake yet (and neither is the traffic!)   And then, on the other hand, when I’m driving home each day, it doesn’t feel like my day is already over — it’s still on!

In other news, I feel I’m a sunshine leech.  I’m some reverse-vampire who shrivels in darkness and comes alive in the sunshine.  Seasonal Affective Disorder is very real to me.  And I hate it.

And this cold winter is still bitin’ me in the butt.  Maybe I should go live on the equator.

Restless Spirit

"World" courtesy of Salvatore Vuono /

“World” courtesy of Salvatore Vuono /

If I could spend whatever I wanted

I wouldn’t be so stingy when I go out.

I would pay for the free digital art.

I would share everything.

I would choose quality over affordability; “organic”, “environmentally friendly”, and “animal friendly” over “convenient” and “cheaper.”


If I could spend whatever I wanted;

If I had all the time that I wanted

I would take more classes, especially about spirituality, health, and happiness.

I would go visit a psychic, see a spiritual healer, spend the day at a spa. . .

I would be outside . . .  A LOT

I would read all the books I’ve wanted to read and watch all the movies I’ve wanted to see — documentaries, sappy romances, and blockbusters.

I would not use the phrases “appropriate use of time” and “wasting time.”


If I could spend whatever I wanted;

If I had all the time that I wanted;

If I could go anywhere I wanted

I would get an RV.  I would take my life and my work on the road.  I would pack everything up and give the rest away and visit everywhere I possibly could in the U.S.

And then I would backpack.  I would go see more of Mexico and then throw myself upon South America. (I’ll come back for you, Canada!)

I would fly across the ocean and see all of Africa, all of Europe, all of Asia, and Australia.  But not Antarctica.  (Sorry, Antarctica.  No appeal for me there.)

And then I would do it all over again! 🙂


Last night I had downtime. This was a foreign concept to me.  I have been moving nonstop for weeks now, and I finally got a chance to breathe.  Even the day I took off of work was spent grading and entering grades into my gradebook.  And also looking at options.  And light cleaning.

I don’t know how to just be.  To have downtime.

I’ve tried to be more present.  I’m trying to be in the moment.  Especially at work.  When I first came to work — when I first knew this place — I knew I was home.  I felt it.  . . I don’t feel that anymore.  I feel. . .  sadness.  Melancholy.  Frustration.  Emptiness.  So, it is time.  It is time.

I look for that feeling.  I felt it there, and I felt it with Brian.  I KNEW.  And I want to know again.  I want to know what is right.  I want to find the right place.   I try to hear a message, like from the birds who dance around me as I drive down the street.  But I don’t know what they’re saying.  I don’t know if they speak.

Today it was nice to have nothing.  Yes, I ran errands.  But I didn’t have whole chunks of my day devoted to something else or someone else.  Not someone else’s time.  My time.

I tried the local bookstore today.  I checked in.  They just hired some new people.  They won’t be hiring for a while.  I was disappointed, but I don’t get the feeling there.  I look for it, but it’s not there.  Maybe the timing is not right?   I imagine myself walking into every building within a 5 mile radius. . .  “Just checking things out!”  And. . . if it feels right?  What then?  They just take me?

Writing feels right.  But that is all I know.


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