Posts tagged ‘teacher’

Metaphysics Monday: Rollercoaster Emotions

Image courtesy of markuso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of markuso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lately our metaphysics teacher has been surprising us with her responses to our experiences during the week.  Feeling upset?  Great!  Resistant?  Fantastic!  Struggling with your exercises?  Good!  I imagine she will same something similar about the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on this past week.  I think her point was that sometimes we experience things in extremes to get a sense of  the extremes of duality, which helps guide us toward our center.  Also, the stirred up emotional turmoil signals a change is coming on, and the School of Metaphysics is all about change and growth.

I’m struggling with self-empowerment today.  That is my current focus, and I still find myself seeking answers from others, not trusting myself.  I want to know that everything will be alright.  I don’t want to make a mistake.  And I want to be positive.  I really do.  This morning I even told myself “T L C!”  (Thinking positively, Love, and Concentration.)  I started off the day energetic and determined to do my best.  And yet by the end of the work day my shoulders were sloped, and I was angry, frustrated, and depressed.  My ego had pulled the gray cloud the rest of the way around me, and I felt like this “positive-thinking” person was just me  pretending to be somebody I was not.  I called Brian, and voiced what I believed.  “I am a negative thinker.  I don’t trust myself.  I will never find a job that makes me happy.”  “Fake it ’til you make it” just sounded completely ridiculous right then.   Then I had a tutoring session with a student that had moved from Sundays to Monday nights, and driving home after the session I stopped for a moment, checked in with myself, and realized I was now in a happy state, peaceful even.  I had a glimmer of hope again.

I do not know what the exact answer is to what I’m looking for.  But something inside tells me that I need completion with this, and I need it something fierce.   This is my chance to believe in myself, to make a clear decision and run with it.  And if it doesn’t work, run with something else.  I still feel I need a little more information, a little more faith, and then I’m going to leap — and fly.

Beautiful Teacher

"Yellow Rose" courtesy of artur84 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Yellow Rose” courtesy of artur84 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I would like to give a “shout out” to my beautiful, wonderful sister today.  She asked me to come visit her classroom for the last day of her school year to play some clarinet for the students and to bring the ice cream. 🙂

Being a teacher is a very difficult job, a job that is not for me.  But it is clearly for my sister.  The love and work she puts into her profession is clear if you visit her classroom or hear her talk about her day.  Her students really understand that her class is a “family”, and it was amazing to see many of the students crying today, even students that have been a challenge throughout the year.  Why are they crying?  Because they know they have experienced love.  To be in her classroom is to know love.  She loves them and shows them how to love each other. She is their protector, their comforter, their motivator, and their cheerleader.  Her students are blessed to have her.  Congratulations to my sister and her wonderful class.  I hope they continue to find happiness, success, and love for the rest of their lives.

So Worth It

"Microphone" courtesy of Idea go/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Microphone” courtesy of Idea go/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’m so exhausted right now that I barely got this post in. It’s been a while since I’ve chosen to stay up super late, and it didn’t have anything to do with doing “homework” (or staying up to avoid homework). It was karaoke. New venue. New night. I’ve been on quite the emotional roller coaster lately, and I’m getting tired of the low points. The experience last night gave me a high that could carry me through at least the next three days.

Sometimes it’s worth it to lose the sleep.  It’s worth the agonizing realization in the morning that the annoying alarm in my ear is unfortunately mine and not my partner’s.  It’s worth wandering back and forth between the kitchen and the living room because I forget my purpose and destination every time I leave the room.   It’s worth the clumsy knocking into desks and students, and it’s worth the internal fight to not succumb — sitting down at my neglected teacher’s desk, throwing my head on my arms, and taking a snooze in the middle of the day.

It’s worth it because last night Teri got her groove back.  She eased in with the duet “Picture”, warmed up with “How Do I Live”, and carried it home with “Man, I Feel Like a Woman.”  There’s nothing like the rowdy support of a sweet, warm, and tipsy neighborhood-pub-crowd to put one back on top and make this lost tutor/teacher/writer feel like a pop star.  Thank you, World, for reminding me of my passion and for giving me something to lose sleep about.

And now, go away, everybody.  It’s time for bed. 🙂

A Few of My Favorite Things

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I was blown away by the gifts I got from work this Christmas.  As a teacher who has worked with students who eat free and reduced lunch, I have been accustomed to not getting much.  And as someone who doesn’t go crazy for the holiday myself, I’ve figured it’s just as well.  As I’ve mentioned before, I hate getting things I can’t use, to the point that I’d rather get nothing at all.

But this past Christmas was amazing.  The school where I work gave me gift cards, cash, and checks, besides lots of yummy Christmas chocolates and other goodies.  And practical stuff, too!  Gas gift cards, gift cards for on-line shopping, and gift cards for all-purpose stores.  And the generosity was amazing!  I couldn’t believe it — I’m only the specials Spanish teacher!

But my absolute favorite gifts so far this school year are the two in the picture above.  The simple ornament makes my heart sing.  (I’m pretty sure my tutee’s parents are the ones who picked it out for me, but it still makes me feel awesome!)  And I just got the homemade poinsetta-looking flower from some of the girls in my sister’s class where I do writing worskhop twice a week.  They are a reminder that even the simplest things can be worth a million bucks to a person.

So, as I sit reflecting, I wonder: how can I make someone else feel like a million bucks today?

Karaoke Queen II — A Poem

Last night I sang my heart out.

The last karaoke crooning of 2012.

And I realized I needed it,

As much as I needed to breathe.

 

Because when I’m there

Singing on stage

Or listening/singing along with my crew,

Nothing matters.

 

I’m not a teacher,

Not a tutor,

Not a writer,

Not a workshop leader.

 

I’m not a disciplinarian,

Not a help-you-catch-up-and-hope-you’re-having-an-“on-day”- and– that-I’M having an “on-day” – ian,

Not a struggling artist,

Not a pulling-myself-out-of-the-house-because-I-need-the-money-and-this-is-my-way-of-life-ian.

 

I . . .  just. . . am.

 

And I’m happy.

And at times like these, I know if I were taken from this world,

Right in this moment,

I would be ok. . .

Because my life is complete.

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