I’ve been struggling quite a bit with changes in my life and trying to visualize how I want things to be (even last night I was practically falling asleep during my visualization exercise). In the meantime I’m trying to find enjoyment in the present moments as I can. Here are 15 highlights from last week:
- I accidentally left my hair down at work because I left my ponytail holder in the car, forgetting to grab it after I meditated. It actually turned out just fine. My hair didn’t get in my way, and I gloried in my femininity, enjoying the movie star effect every time I walked by a big fan, as my hair swirled up behind me.
- I got to ride in a warehouse cart. Work was making some kind of system change and had us reapply for direct deposit. One of the managers was rounding up people and taking them from the warehouse to the office, and since I was first, I got a quick buggy ride. What a rush! Same day as my hair being down, so again, I felt the swish of air in my hair. If I’d been anywhere else but work I might have clapped my hands and giggled in my delight.
- I shared about metaphysics. I found out a few months back that one of my coworkers shared my enthusiasm for biking; later I discovered that he was spiritual, too. He’s asked me about my class before, and last week he was asking some fairly detailed questions. I found my excitement growing as I shared my knowledge and personal experience with spirituality. I was getting so enthusiastic, I thought I might scare him! However, we wants to talk about it more this week.
- I chit-chatted in Spanish! There are some really awesome people at the warehouse — they really are the best part of the job — and one of them asked me about my past, and I guess I’d mentioned that I taught Spanish last year. He told one of the processors, and she struck up a conversation with me in the bathroom. 🙂 It felt so good to use it again and also to make a new friend. Lesson 9 in metaphysics class was about meeting new people and making new friends, and I realized that there are SO many people in the warehouse!
- I got to be a little teacher-y and left some cutsie sticky notes on some of the processors’ tables. My job is frustrating sometimes because my job is to check-in the carts of the processors, and every processor is different, and many of them are new, so many mistakes are made, and that really adds a lot of stress to my work. One of the things that is helpful is if the processors fold over the ruined pages of books (ripped, water damaged, or full of writing), so I can see why they’ve put those books aside on the cart. Instead of getting super upset when people didn’t fold over there book pages, I decided I was going to write mini-thank you notes to those who did it: “Thank you for folding over the pages of your No Values! 🙂 🙂 🙂 ” And I got some positive responses from it. I may try something similar next week. 🙂
- Peace. One of my tutoring jobs is stressing me out a bit, but yesterday, in the midst of some of the stress, I had a mini-epiphany and felt complete peace. I wish I could remember what is was because the stress came back in full force later!
- I heard the sound of silence. Silence has a sound! Maybe it’s actually some specific sound that I wasn’t aware of before, but I heard it in the car when I meditated. (I’ve discovered that I cannot meditate before bed, as suggested — I get sleepy and antsy! But meditating in the car while I wait to punch in has been a great experience for me. Compared to my upstairs bedroom with the noise of highway traffic coming from the windows, my car is like a sound vacuum. And that’s where I first heard the sound of silence. But tonight, when I meditated in that bedroom, I heard it again. And then I heard it a bit during the candle activity, too!
- Pumpkin pancakes! My eating has been all messed up since my jobs have been changing, and my new position is moderately physical, and I’ve lost a lot of weight and have been really hungry. I’ve concluded that I need to spend more time with food, and for lunch today I made pumpkin pancakes from the Trader Joe mix, and Brian made some super scrumptious eggs and hash browns. I was one, full, super-satisfied lady. 🙂
- Play. In the middle of a math game with one of my students on Saturday I realized: “Hey! I’m playing at work!” I tried a new multiplication math board game, and she loved it and wanted to do it again next week. And the best part is we both had fun!
- Faced my Fears. As mentioned in my previous post, I pushed through some uncomfortableness this past week and learned how to ask for what I needed — and it wasn’t bad!
- 1771 — Got this twice at the exact same time from my two different odometers (107701 and 177.1)! According to Joanne Sacred Scribes, these numbers mean I’m on the right track and thinking good thoughts. This is great news from my angels! It also reminds me to be grateful to the universe. Will do!
- Dreaming about ghosts. I’m dreaming more again, which is a good sign that I’m reconnecting with my subconscious. I get frustrated, though, when I can’t figure out what the symbols mean or how they fit together. I had a pretty wacky dream this weekend with ghosts in it, and though I didn’t understand it, my School of Metaphysics dream dictionary said it has something to do with the inner levels of consciousness and that I may want to study out-of-body experiences and astral projection to gain conscious knowledge of my whole self. Cool!!
- Danced with my sister. I keep wanting to dance, but I don’t make some time for it. I keep telling myself to just put some music on and dance around the house, or else work out to Zumba. Finally, I got some dancing in at my cousin’s wedding last Friday. My sister and I were the first ones to arrive at the reception, and some alternating Sinatra and Buble were playing on the speakers in the incredibly gorgeous Crystal Gardens of Navy Pier. My sister and I took advantage of the privacy and twirled away, her royal blue skirt, and my echnicolored-Joseph-y skirt swishing, as we flitted about the floor, jumping fountains splishing and splashing around us.
- Heard my all-time favorite reading. 1 Corinthians 13 — amazing reading. If you’ve been to many weddings, and you’re a feminist like me, I’m sure you’ve heard that particular reading or two that has made you either cringe or want to punch through a wall. Thankfully, my cousin did not pick those particular readings for her wedding. Instead, I found myself extremely moved, wiping at my eyes with my hands and my shawl, when I heard the entirety of my favorite Bible chapter read aloud in that enormous cathedral. I still have not completely made peace with my Catholic upbringing, but this experience certainly helped. I decided right there that I was going to type up that passage and post it on my wall next to my dream board. I was truly inspired.
- Understood why I cry every time I read The Giving Tree. That is my absolute favorite book, and taking a Childrens Multicultural Literature class for my masters nearly ruined it for me. (Some critic related the story to the plight of women and society’s demand that they give and give without receiving in return.) Today I understood why the story is so enchanting for me. Because this has been my struggle and my focus: giving and receiving. I have trouble giving; I have trouble receiving; and my intuitive report added a further dimension to this realization when it revealed my resentment of forced giving or unappreciated giving. Here, in this story, the tree epitomizes the perfect giver. She is a Jesus figure, ready to give everything she has, even parts of herself, without expecting a thing in return. And she is happy, just to be able to do this. This is something I have yet to understand or be able to do, but I recognize how powerful and beautiful it is. This is something I know I must aspire to if I hope to reach enlightenment.
I’m looking forward to my discoveries for next week!