Posts tagged ‘relationships’

How Is Your Love Thermostat?


“Love is a many splendored thing.”– Paul Francis Webster

There are 3 types of love I mention in the “Matters of the Heart” workshop and webinar: self-love, love of others, and the love search.  If you took a good look, how would you measure up in these areas?

How is your self-love?  

This is the foundation of all love.  If we do not have self-love, how can we love others?  If our own love bucket is empty, we have nothing to give.  We could all use a little more self-love!  Here are some tips to get you back on your feet:

  1. Make a list of things that bring you joy (and do one daily!)
  2. Love your mind and spirit: journal/meditate/pray/be still/practice mindfulness/use affirmations
  3. Love your body — nutrition and exercise
  4. Give yourself some supportive “mirror time” (Take a good look and like what you see!)
  5. The Artist’s Date — Take yourself out on a creative date!
  6. Surround yourself with loving people
  7. Discover and implement your love language on yourself (from the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman)

How is your relationship love bank?

Gary Chapman, relationship counselor, tells us that there are 5 Love Languages:

1.Words of Affirmation

2.Receiving Gifts

3.Acts of Service

4.Quality Time

5.Physical Touch

Which resonates with you?  (Be honest!)  In every successful relationship — whether conscious of it or not — each partner is communicating love through his/her partner’s love language.  To show your partner/child/friend how much you care, identify his/her love language. Take the assessment at the link above, or think about the times when your partner seemed to glow the most.  Or when they seemed to complain the most!

Irene Schreiner of says that a relationship is made up of 3 parts: partner #1, partner #2, and the relationship.  A healthy relationship takes work and must be treated like a job  — or a new puppy!   We only have control of ourselves, and when making decisions and requests, we must always consider the relationship.

Looking for Love?

For those looking for new love, these 4 tips are for you

  1. Decide for love. Your dream partner is a part of your vision for you life!  Decide you will have love (and strongly!) and the universe will respond in kind.
  2. Create a vision of your partner (including “This or something better”!)    The Law of Specificity tells us to feed our inner mind very specific pictures!  The clearer our description, the easier it is to find what we are looking for.  Just be open to something even better than you were able to imagine on your own!
  3. BE your ideal partner.  Opposites attract, but like also attracts like.  Work on yourself to be the best you can be.  You will find someone who resonates with that frequency.
  4. Start living the life you’d live with your partner. Why wait to go out and have fun until you have that special someone by your side?  Make ready for your partner by living the life you’d love to be sharing with him/her.  Plus, you just might end up bumping into each other!

No one is perfect at love — so which area is calling to you for some extra attention?  Pick an action step today, and let’s turn up the heat on that thermostat of love!

Much love, many blessings. ❤

What’s on Tonight?

Brian and I are trying to find a new series to get into. We’re really into Big Bang Theory, but we prefer to binge on episode-after-episode in one long sitting, and one half hour a day just is not cutting it. In our 4 years together, we’ve enjoyed the likes of Star Trek: Next Gen, Star Trek: Voyager, Battlestar Galactica, The Mentalist, and randomly – The United States of Tara (a surprisingly extraordinary find). We’ve also dabbled in Seinfeld, Glee, and a few episodes of X-Files. We’re trying to figure out where to go next. Back to Seinfeld? Or maybe mix it up?

The problem is Brian’s and my interests are not exactly as compatible as we are.  We’re both huge nerds, so the Star Trek series worked out just fine. (Although I’m not sure I really want to watch the original series.  The special effects are just a little too archaic for me. . .)   But from there we diverge.

Brian likes horror and cruder humor, and I like romance and light comedy, from now back through the 19th century.  This means he prefers Family Guy, a show I find offensive, while I prefer Sex in the City, a show he finds offensive.  He would love to spend the evening watching zombies in The Walking Dead or exploring freaky occurrences in X-Files.  I would prefer something with friends and trysts like Friends or Grey’s Anatomy (before the drama got to me).

Tonight we’re going to try switching off between X-Files and Sex and the City, just as bizarrely polar opposite as Seven and The Jerk, two back-to-back movies I reluctantly watched during a church group party in high school.

I think we’ll both take a turn hiding our head under the blanket!

Image: Salvatore Vuono /

You Know It’s Time to End a Relationship When. . .

You know it’s time to end any relationship when. . .

  • You aren’t in love anymore.
  • You aren’t loved anymore.
  • You feel unappreciated, no matter how hard you work at your relationship.
  • You are told, in so many words, that you are awful.  And you are otherwise inundated with criticisms, punctuated by infrequent, perfunctory praise.
  • You complain to everyone else about your relationship.
  • You are angry or depressed, even while away from your relationship.
  • You criticize everyone and everything, including those in your other relationships.
  • You want to stay in bed, or away, rather than face your relationship.
  • Your relationship has affected your health (including mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being)
  • You have resorted to addictions, whether they be candy/snacks, TV, or multiple Rum&Cokes or glasses of wine to ease the pain and frustration you feel in your relationship.
  • You have a breakdown and cry for 10 minutes straight once or twice every month.
  • If anyone talks about anything related to your relationship, you feel nauseated and have an incredible urge to run away.
  • You feel trapped in your relationship, to the point that you feel you’ll never, ever be happy again for more than one hour at a time, at the end of which something reminds you of your relationship.
  • You’re tired of reading about relationship, talking about relationship, and you’re just plain tired of your relationship.
  • You’re afraid that you are losing yourself, breaking down piece-by-piece with the passage of time, knowing in your soul that you can never truly be yourself in this relationship and never find the fulfillment one needs to be truly free, at peace, and alive.

Image: Sira Anamwong /

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