Posts tagged ‘Purposed Lives’


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The title of this post is borrowed from Martha Beck, author of Steering by StarlightI am grateful for Cindy Dove of Purposed Lives, for her continued coaching, and for introducing me to the works of Martha Beck.  I am excited to find my Stargazer. . .

I am half-way through Beck’s book, and I’ve begun thinking about some “lizard” comments that are keeping me stuck in the past and fearing the future.  Here are some throw-away ideas that I would like to identify (First, recognition!), matched up with some new affirmations:


I am not good enough.   I am more than good enough — I’m amazing!

I have to be miserable.  I can be happy and at peace in the present moment.

Work has to be hard. Things don’t have to be — and aren’t — as hard as I make them out to be.

Work has to be unenjoyable.  I can find fun and enjoyment in anything I do.  Or I can trick myself into making it not so bad!


I have to do this because this is what may family wants (parents, sister, grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc). What I do is inspired by my true self, and whatever I choose to do is acting in the best interests of my life purpose/path.

He can’t handle ___________ (my fiance, my father, etc), so I should/shouldn’t _____________. I give credit to ____________ for how strong they are, and I will let the butterfly make its own way out of the cocoon.

If people don’t come to my parties, that means they don’t like me. I give myself permission to choose not to go to events, and I give other people permission to not go to events.  It is not a reflection on my person or theirs.

If people aren’t calling me, that means they don’t like me.  If I feel a need to connect with someone, I will make the effort.  When they are ready to connect with me, they will do the same.

I am too shy to talk to people.  I have been told that I am a friendly, outgoing person, and I know it!

I have to prove myself for people to like me. I have gotten smiles from passerbys and people I have just met.

If I _________________/don’t do ________________, people won’t like me. I do not have control over how people feel toward me.  When I am aligning with my true self, I am at peace with myself and my choices and actions.


I can’t handle money. I have been managing money just fine for years now.

I have to pay off this mortgage as quickly as possible, even if it makes me miserable trying to do it. I am willing to take longer to pay off my mortgage, if it means I can work jobs that I love and live a happier life.

I need to make enough money to afford things that my friends afford and do things that my friends do. I am a frugal person who can find enjoyment in simple things.

It is good to feel poor and without. Though the simple life can be a fulfilling life, I do not need to deprive myself of everything to feel that I am being my best self.


I have to do things a certain way./Things must be a certain way. The possibilities are endless!

I must be a bad person. I am exactly who I a meant to be.

I can’t be completely, blissfully happy because that would be heaven, and I’m not ready to go yet. I can be completely, blissfully happy, as others are around me!

I’ll bet you can imagine how hard it was to type the opposite, my affirmations!  Am I going to magically change overnight?  That would be lovely!  But, however long it takes, the journey has begun.

What are your throw-away ideas?  What are your new affirmations?

GPS & Life Coaching

Have you ever played Apples to Apples and dealt with those annoying double-subject cards: “death & taxes”, “salt& pepper”, “apples & oranges”. . .  etc?   I think I dumped most of those cards.  So, then “GPS & Life Coaching”?. . .  Yes, I’m really grateful for this particular double- subject.  It has given my life direction — map direction & life direction.

My GPS was one of the best purchases I have ever made.  Do you know how sometimes you don’t take action in your life until something — or you —  begins to fall apart?  Well, this was happening to me when trying to get somewhere for the first time.  I had a couple of incidences in a row where I was driving somewhere new and got completely lost.  When I became increasingly more frequently on the verge of nervous breakdowns, I knew something had to be done.  So, I got my GPS, and I’ve driven happily ever after, ever since.  Now, I do sometimes still get lost or lose direction, but. . .  then my wonderful, flexible GPS lady readjusts and gets me right back on track.

Cindy from “Purposed Lives”  has also gotten me on track.  She’s helped me begin to explore  myself , so I can find who I really am, what I want to do, and how to reopen that creative part of myself.  Do you ever get cranky and agitated when you haven’t eaten for a while?  Your body is telling you that you’re not getting what you need, right?  I’ve begun to realize that I’ve done the same with my creative side, and maybe even with my life purpose.  I’ve starved myself of the things I want to do and am meant to do, and thus, I’ve become a cranky, irritable person who feels empty and envies the happiness of others.  Working with Cindy has not only opened me up to ideas I’d never considered before, but our weekly check-ins have given me an accountability that helps me place importance on the things I didn’t really appreciate before.

After spending a lifetime being lost, it feels great to know where I’m going!


Dream Fever

I’m having some vivid dreams again.  Today I am grateful for strange dreams that really make me think.  There’s nothing like a little dream analysis to get me excited in the morning. . .


Two nights ago I dreamt of zombies.  I dreamt of zombies once before, but I think I had seen part of a zombie show or movie, so I dismissed that.  This one seemed to be out of nowhere.  All I remember is that I was constantly on the lookout and running from zombies, and at the end, a woman and her elderly mother had approached me.  The woman was talking with me, and I was listening to her while also trying to fend off her mother, who seemed intent on taking a bite out of me.

So, why zombies?  According to Dream Moods:

“To dream that you are attacked by zombies indicate[s] that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. You are under tremendous stress in your waking life.  Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered.”

Well, yes, that makes sense.  My life changes and risk-taking, although necessary, have been extremely stressful.  I am shaking off my old life and finding my true path, and it REALLY freaks me out.  I hope this doesn’t mean I’m going to become a zombie snack every night when I close my eyes . . .

All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together. 

— Jack Kerouac 

Cruising Around an Island Chain

This morning I had a very bizarre dream involving islands and a boat.  From what I can remember, I was traveling from island- to-island by boat.  Sometimes I was with people; other times I was not.  I remember thinking that the islands were just far enough away that I couldn’t just hop from one to another on my own.  I’d have to use the boat, and toward the beginning of the dream I was.  However, the boat was on a schedule, and at the end of the dream, I realized I was stranded and could not catch a boat.  I became panicky, realizing that I had separated myself from my family.

Again, from Dream Moods:

“To see or dream that you are on an island signifies ease, relaxation and comfort.  The dream is telling you that you need a vacation and [to] escape the stresses in your life.  It is time for some solitude.”

YES.  I have really felt that I just need some time to myself to spend some time learning what I want to do and where I’d like to go from here.

“To dream that you are stranded on an island suggests that you need to get away from the demands of your daily life. . . [or] the dream means that you feel cut off from society.  You are in a rut and do not know what to do with your life.”

Also very true.  I had a great conversation with Cindy Dove of Purposed Lives yesterday, and I think I’m beginning to make a break through with what I really want out of life, which leads right into the next two suggestions:

“To dream that you are in or see a boat signifies your ability to cope with and express your emotions. . . Alternatively, you may be ready to confront your subconscious and unknown aspects of yourself. . .”

“To dream that you are trying to jump off a boat suggests that you want to confront those difficult emotions and approach your problems head on.”

Perhaps I am finding my way, but I’m afraid I will be breaking away from what others expect and want from me (including family?)  I think this is most likely.

What do you dream about?  What interpretations have you made?

On Relaxation, Being “Drama-Free”, Learning About Life Energy, and Sleeeep

Vacation Day?

Today I am first grateful for not having any events planned.  I think this may be my first “real” vacation day.  However, I’m thinking this “vacation day” must be a frightening, impossible concept for me, because as I type this, I’m already trying to make plans to go to Starved Rock with some friends. . . sigh.  And it really won’t be a day off anyway —  I’m planning on using it to practice for the musical and clean up the office.  ::sigh; again::  But, there’s nothing like worry to bring a good day down, so getting these things out of the way will help immensely toward maintaining peace of mind.  Maybe I’ll even get some “don’t wanna’s” done today. . .


I am also grateful for a lack of drama in my life.  Stress?  Oh, yes.  But stress from drama?  Not really.  Yesterday I met with some friends, and I had a feeling gossip would be involved.  (It is practically inevitable with a big group of people.)  And though the information was definitely interesting — if not awkward and uncomfortable at times– I realized I could have done without it.  There are some things that I’m just happier not knowing.  So, I’m also grateful for minimal levels of drama stress in my life.

Job Stuff and Self-Exploration

And again, I am grateful for the Naperville Community Career Center.  I’ve been coming out of my shell a little bit and am networking with more people.  I’m also learning some really interesting things at their workshops.  Yesterday I went to a workshop by Cindy Dove (Purposed Lives) about “life energies” called Interviewing Your Inner Self.  She says that there are 3 Energies: “Aliveness,” “Truth,” and “Workability.”  We have all three, but we have a different hierarchy of how they are manifested in our lives.  According to Cindy (using her nifty-difty cheat sheet that she gave us), “Aliveness Energy” makes you “an innovator” with a “positive outlook” and a “zest for living.”  You are “enthusiastic,” “visible,” “spontaneous,” “compassionate,” “open,” “sharing,” and “vibrant.”  A person with “Truth Energy” is “a seeker” who is “analytical,” “sees the whole picture,” and is “introspective.”  She is “observant,” “sincere,” “attentive,” “understanding,” “knowing,” “quiet,” serious,” and “gentle.”  Finally, the person with “Workability Energy” is “a realist” who is “oriented to success,” “committed,” and “motivated by challenge.”  She is “focused,” “responsible,” “productive,” “steadfast,” “companionable,” “organized,” “competent,” and “reliable.”

For me, my strongest energy is “Truth Energy,” followed by “Aliveness,” and finally, “Workability.”  I have seen all three in my life, but “Truth Energy” is definitely the most natural.  We were split into three groups by what we thought were our most prominent energies, and it was really interesting to see and hear the differences between the groups.  The best parts of the session were: recognizing that there are other people who are like us, being able to understand why we are the way we are, and knowing that we are ok!


I am so grateful for sleep.  I looove sleep.  I love it so much that I may indulge in it for a bit after my morning breakfast smoothie settles.  I tell you, I matured fast when it came to sleep.  I am a huge fan of the nap, and I do not like to get less than my needed allotment of hours each night. (And that’s 8.5 hours for me!)  These days, with all the new activity happening around me, the analogy “hit by a truck” makes perfect sense to me as I drag myself out of bed each morning.

Have a wonderful day, everyone!  Be well.


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