Posts tagged ‘procrastination’

Wins and Weaknesses Wednesday: Goodbye Perfectionism

Time to let go!

                        Time to let go!

I’ve seen a significant shift in the past week.  I’m beginning to let go of perfectionism.  (Time to release the hound!)  This has not be a quick, clean break, but I am making definite progress.  This is helping me move more freely because Perfectionism is best friends with Procrastination. Where one goes, the other follows.

I had a wonderful Vision Workshop last week, and I am making progress with my reading and spiritual journaling.  I also had a fantastic coaching session today, and I’m excited about making the “business” work of my business FUN and to clarify my vision even more so that I can fully put it on.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Much love and many blessings. ❤

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Thankful Thursday: Dreams, Progress, and Old Friends

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’m grateful for insights on dreams.

Tuesday I called my metaphysics teacher.  I was frustrated with my dreams.  I didn’t feel I had a good connection with my subconscious.  Maybe that side of me was fine, but my conscious mind just wasn’t getting it.  My teacher showed me how to look at the theme of the dream so that I could connect it to the day before and then apply it to my life.  She also told me to take time during the day to recognize my learnings, to assimilate throughout the day.  Finally, in response to my frustrations with understanding some dreams, she told me to ask my subconscious to give me simple messages.

That day I’d had a dream about a ceremony with a man becoming a godfather.  We worked through the dream.  She said to ask myself: “What do I know about superconscious mind?”  “What do I know about godfathers?” I believed a ceremony was an initiation.  Some sort of initiation is occuring in my life, and the superconscious is involved in it.  Yesterday morning my subconscious apparently honored my plea for simplicity because part of my dream was a written message that I wrote out in sidewalk chalk.  I wrote “Be ready!  You’re next.”  Because we received a new exercise in class that same night, I believe that was the message from my dream.  This morning I dreamt that I was back at my most recent job and that I was doing a block shift.  I was told by one of the guys (like a manager, but not quite) that I wouldn’t get paid for the block because of something.  wasn’t there for quite the whole time or there wasn’t as much work or something.  I was upset.  I was thinking about quitting and was telling people so (or a protest or something.) The theme of this dream is that I wasn’t receiving the value that I thought I deserved for the work that I had done.  This could mean not receiving internal recognition for work I had accomplished that day or it could have meant believing I had not received recognition/appreciation for work that day.  I could see a connection to both of these the previous day.  My learning for this would be to honor my accomplishments within myself and also to find a greater good and purpose in my work so that I do not feel I need the compliments and appreciation from others.

I’m grateful for progress. (Any!)

And so. . . I honor my baby steps today.  Today with Cindy, my life purpose coach, we went over breaking things down into steps again, but even more simply “What is my next step?”  I often freak out at the totality of a project, but I can handle that little step, right?  And if that “little” step is too big, I can break it down even further.  I’m noticing resistances and procrastination at every corner these days.  But I’m making some progress. 🙂  I’m working through some of my awkwardness, too.  I’m starting to open up more to people in my networking group.  I had a couple of really interesting conversations today because I overcame my insecurities and stuck with the conversation.  Little-by-little.  And today I made some progress at the library, doing an activity with a child and leaving a flyer with a parent, and then talking with a librarian about setting up a make-and-take workshop and resources for getting a children’s book published.  (I’ve been thinking about reworking my book Tiny a little bit and getting it published.)

I’m grateful for reconnecting with old friends.

I’m trying to accept more invites and hang out with more people.  It’s difficult to know when to say “yes” or not with everything going on these days.  I think I should make it a daily practice to take a moment to pause, go within, and reflect before I make decisions. Tonight I met up with some friends that I hadn’t seen for years and years (some 5, some more!)  We had some interesting conversations — even some very deep, and metaphysical/philosophical ones —  and it felt great to reconnect with people.  In a strange way I felt like things hadn’t changed, like some people hadn’t changed. I’d changed.  Had they changed?  What was really going on inside of all of us?

What are you grateful for today?

Let’s Get It Started in Here (Seriously.) (Now!)

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you ever put something off, and it has remained there — in your mind, growing and growing and growing, until it has become this huge, terrifying monster?  For me, I’m struggling with this blog and with my health insurance.

Changing my health insurance over has now morphed into this monumental task that I fear will take hours upon hours.  I’ll be battling with technology in the attempt to navigate a previously uncharted web-site, then experiencing a metaphysical struggle over what to enter as  I project as my projected future income, in order to determine my monthly premium.  (Should I use what I’m making now, to make sure I’m not paying too much each month?  Or do I want to visualize what I actually want to be making next year, so that I’m attracting and clarifying what I want to the universe?)

And then there’s this blog.  I’ve had plenty of ideas for this post over the past 3 weeks.  So. . .  why didn’t I post?  Part of it was making time.  Part of it was needing to make decisions.  And then it became about all this pressure I had placed on myself to create something truly AWESOME — I mean, since I’d taken my good, sweet time about it.

So, sometimes it’s just about DOING something,  just to have it done. Sure, t might turn out as awful as you feared —  or not as wonderful as you hoped — but you’ve gone and conquered that monster  — or unplugged that pressure cooker — and you might find it wasn’t so scary afterall!

(And to you, my insurance guy, who I know may be reading this — I will get that transfer done. . .  but I may need you to hold my hand all the way through it!)

 

Criticism and Me

"Pointing American Man"  courtesy of imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Pointing American Man” courtesy of imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I got my socks knocked off twice in one day, and both times I had something to learn about criticism.

Lesson #1: If you are prepared to share your criticism in a non-complaining, open-minded way, also be prepared to discover that you may actually be the problem.

Explanation: I like to kiss.  I’m overall an affectionate person; I like to hug and kiss friends and family, but I really love romantic kissing.   I have many fond memories of just that — just kissing!  And so, naturally I’ve been after Brian to create some more memories.  🙂 But I kiss by feel, and when I kiss, I try to recreate previous pleasant experiences (same sensation, length, pressure, etc).  Lately something just wasn’t feeling right.  So, I decided that I would confront Brian about it.  And that’s when I found out that I kiss weird. I recoiled when he demonstrated my own kissing style back to me.  “How long has it been this way?” I asked incredulously.  And then when he said since always, I exclaimed: “Why didn’t you tell me?” We both agreed that probably wouldn’t have ended well if he had.  What an eye-opener.  I was worried about offending him, and I ended up tucking my own tail!  However, as embarrassing as this whole thing was, I can content myself with knowing I still win out in the end — because this means we need more kissing practice!

Lesson #2: If you are self-critical, you probably need it.

Explanation: This is something my metaphysics teacher shared with the class yesterday, and I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach.  What?? You mean I deserve all of this suffering?  I deserve this self-abuse?  No. That’s not what she meant.  And she went on to explain something like this: The critical voice you are hearing in your head is directing you on how you can change.  For example: it is true that I shouldn’t sleep in too late.  It’s true that I need to slow down and read things carefully, so that I don’t miss important information.  And it’s true that I need to stop procrastinating and get working on that writing, homework, art, phonecall, e-mail, paperwork, exercise, etc.

The part that I don’t need is the beating myself up over it.  Forgive, learn, and do better the next time.  And if I didn’t do better?  Forgive, learn, and do better the next time.  One of the insights from this week’s metaphysics lesson/reading was that people don’t want to forgive because it takes away their ability to exact revenge.  Something negative happened, and you want to balance it with a negative reaction.  Forgiveness can seem like robbing you of that opportunity to punish yourself or others.  But my teacher explained that verbally abusing yourself can turn into a crutch, an excuse for you to be stuck in the same problem, not allowing yourself to learn from the situation and evolve.  I wake up late; the record begins to play:  I’m so lazy; I can’t get myself out of bed; There I go again; I’m so unmotivated; I’m a procrastinator; I never get out of bed; There I go again because I’m such a lazy, procrastinator, etc.   Instead of being an impetus for change, my inner critic has become a crutch, a repetitious reminder of my limitations that I can use as excuses, instead of moving forward.

Instead of continuing this self-fulfilling prophecy, I can start by replacing the old record with a new one. I can forgive myself for not getting up: I didn’t get out of bed when I wanted to, and I forgive you for that.

Then, I can look at the situation and find something to learn from it. What happens when I don’t get out of bed when I planned to?  I break a commitment to myself and take a blow to my trust in myself.  I also miss out on some things I planned to do that day, like writing, exercising, and catching up on work.  I want to trust myself.  I want to do those things.

Or. . .  Maybe I don’t want those things.  Why not?  What’s holding me back from getting those things done and keeping me in bed? Why don’t I want to exercise, get that work done, write, etc?” I need to reevaluate my purpose in those things.  Either they are not something I really want and need to do, and I should replace them with things that will help me want to get out of bed. Or, I need to reaffirm my purpose in wanting to do those things, so that I have a stronger reason to get out of bed; i.e. “I feel rejuvenated when I exercise and my skin is clearer.  So, I want to exercise.  Or I feel alive when I write, and I know in my heart I want to be a writer.  I’m going to put in the time, even if I’m resistant at first. Or even: I need to get this work done to make a living.  I want to feel secure and ensure my survival.  I will make this a priority.

What about that important piece of the e-mail that I skimmed over, affecting my schedule, as well as those of 3 other people? I can forgive myself, make amends, and learn from this lesson, setting a purpose for next similar experience.  Step 1) Forgive myself.  Step 2) Make it right: go back over the e-mail, contact the necessary people and make the apologies and adjustments Step 3) Set the purpose of slowing down and reading everything more carefully in the future.

Of course, I can also let myself do nothing and face the inevitable consequences later.  Or I can correct it but also beat myself up without forgiveness.   I can make either of these choices, now aware that I am choosing not to experience the lesson I have the opportunity to learn. And inevitably the universe will provide me with this same situation and this same decision again!  (And this is also ok! The universe is a very patient teacher!)  Life is about learning.  As my metaphysics lesson says: No event in your life is a failure.  The only thing resembling “failure” would be not learning from the experience.

So, what happens if I don’t get up early the next day?  Or I forget to slow down, and I misread another e-mail?  I know what to do.  Start again.  I forgive you for that.  I forgive you for that.  Rinse and repeat!

Takin’ Care of Business . . . Or At Least, Tryin’. . .

There are some things that I’ve put off ridiculously long, and this is a brief picture show of what I finally got done within the last week, in order of least pathetic to most pathetic.

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BEFORE

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AFTER

**This is not the best of the before and after Bowser pictures I’ve ever taken. . .

3) BOWSER The first specimen is my dog Bowser.  It had been at least 4 months since we’d gotten his hair cut, and he was developing what I like to call his “homeless man” face, for lack of a more politically correct term.  What’s worse, he had this ridiculous clump of fur that would stick right into his eye.  Neither Brian nor I wanted to take him in, so I finally won the honor, when I became so embarrassed and sorry for the dog that I couldn’t take it any more.  And now he is as cute as a button all over again.

 

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AFTER

2) SOCKS  I got a gift certificate from one of the stores I’m boycotting, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do it, so I went and bought 9 pairs of black socks.  Nothing fancy, just something to replace the sad socks with the big-toe holes that I’ve been hobbling around on now for a year or two.  Really, sad, I know.  This shows you how little I like to shop or maybe how crazy I get about trying to conserve things.  (I actually took a picture of my old socks, too, but I was worried I might frighten anyone away from ever reading my blog AGAIN.)

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Ridiculous Light Fixture #1

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Ridiculous Light Fixture #2

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What it looks like trying to ascend the stairs at night (only darker) . . .

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Brian’s solution. . .

1) LIGHT BULBS.  This is the most ridiculous of all the things we have put off because of the obvious inconvenience and safety hazard imposed by this omission.  Let me first explain that I am not a completely ridiculous, helpless girl when it comes to light bulbs.  I change light bulbs, especially if I already have the bulbs.  I have been the one to change the light bulbs in the dining room light fixture, and I have changed bulbs in our living room lamps.  However, these two hallway light fixtures have been a little more challenging; first, because I did not have the bulbs nor know exactly what wattage and size they were; and second, it was rather difficult to reach them.  At some point during my mutterings and strugglings in the dark (see dark picture), I noticed that Brian had gone so far as to dismantle the covering from “Ridiculous Light Fixture #1”, and so I saw my opening.  There was no way I was ever going to get to Ridiculous Light Fixture #2.  Even if I got up the nerve to knock on my neighbor’s door and ask for a ladder and was somehow able to divine the size and wattage of those light bulbs up there, my ridiculously designed landing step is not a landing at all, but rather a criss cross of large triangular stairs, such that it is unlikely either Brian or I will ever have the nerve to come anywhere near those high-in-the-sky light bulbs.   (Why does anyone ever put light bulbs in a place that high, anyway?) So, I grabbed a kitchen stool, hoisted myself up, grabbed a bulb, and read the fixture label.  Armed with a bulb and the wattage, I finally went to the hardware store, came home, and directly changed the 3 bulbs, rejoicing in the end of my torturous evening traipsing, the termination of my flimsy dependence on my not-so-cat-like vision to keep me from tripping on the stairs and plummeting to my death.  What actually makes this item the most pathetic of all is that it hasn’t actually been taken care of at all.  Yes, it is back on my “to do list”, for, alas, my triumph was short-lived when 2 of the bulbs shorted out the very night I replaced them, and the last of the three died the following day.  Clearly something is wrong with the fixture, which means we will have to find a man or woman on stilts to take care of the cloud-high bulbs, if we ever want to see up the stairs again.  Fortunately, my ingenious fiancee found a quick tentative solution (see our final picture). He took one of our Christmas gifts, two timer-ed battery-operated snowman candles, and stuck them on the ledge of a window beneath our sky-high bulbs.  Not ideal, I know, but now the stairwell is slightly less of an ominous cave.

So, there you have it.  Finally getting things done — or not.  And of course, this is only a touch of the wackiness of  our day-to-day lives.  (Don’t even get me started on the garage-door opener in Brian’s car with the month-long dead battery. .  .  I told him I WILL NOT get out of the passenger side and open the garage door for him when it’s snowing. . .)

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