I’m on spring break this week (but I still have tutoring), so I thought I would use this brief breather to try to set some habits. Since my New Year’s resolution is to “be happy”, I’m going to focus on the 5 things that I have determined will most likely make me happy:
2. Creative time/me time
4. Being in the Moment
5. Life Purpose
I plan on posting about my daily successes in those areas for this week — beginning with posting about today and yesterday tonight — and any other posts I will schedule for afterwards.
“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” — Buddha
(And each moment — in that moment — is what matters most, too!)
I saw this is in my Facebook stream, and it really hit home. I’ve tried to observe my thought processes lately, and I realized that I spend an awful lot of my day worrying. Worrying! Which we all know is completely useless. Why on Earth do we do it?
I am hardly ever in the moment lately. If I am in the moment, it is often about how unhappy I am at that moment, and then I carry that displeasure on to the next activity. Or if I am happy in the moment, it soon gives way to a nervousness about what is to come next. This is no way to live!
Which leads me to another Facebook quote from today: “You are what you believe about yourself.” (PoweredbyIntuition.com)
I’ve noticed that I can “trick” my feelings a bit into feeling something different from worry, if only for a short time. If I am dreading the day or the next session, I try these: “This is going to be a great day!” or “I can’t wait to work with this class!” or “I can’t wait to work with this student!” or “This will be awesome!” I can actually feel a lift in my face and my head when I think it, and sometimes that attitude has given my day a complete 180!
What it all comes down to over and over again is that I THINK TOO MUCH. Unfortunately, I am not an android, and I cannot simply shut off my emotions — though I wish, I wish, I wish I could! I may not be able to control my emotions, but I don’t wish to add to them. Freaking out about getting freaked out is only compounding the problem. My goal is to take on the role of the interested observer, to look upon myself — at my emotional and bodily reactions to situations — as if from a distance, and to give myself the ability to relax and let go.
I get frustrated because I remember having moments of great peacefulness and great happiness, and I don’t feel like I have them in this present moment. Something is off.
But I know things have changed for the better. I’m aware of whether I’m present or not more often; this is a great thing.
And, anyway, why worry about the past? The past is over!
All I can seem to think about is how much I want tomorrow to be done. I want to concentrate on getting ready for this holiday weekend. And tomorrow is going to be a LONG day. And when I mean, long, I mean LOOOOOONG. 14 hours (or 13 hours, if I don’t include driving, but I do).
I will persevere! I will focus on each moment. I will appreciate the moments of silence and stillness throughout the day, because otherwise I know what will happen when I get to that day after tomorrow: I will already be looking ahead, focused on the next great thing.
as my world was swirling round,
and I struggled with leaving my comfort zone,
fitfully worried about the future,
and the changes that are to come . . .
I found peace
in the oddest of places.
It is in death
that we can celebrate life,
in a reminder that our time is short
and each moment is precious.
Though we mourn the loss of one so young,
we learn to treat our own lives as gifts.
May every one of us find peace and keep it close.
Image: markuso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net