The Power of Conscious Emotion
by Jorge Candelaria
Some people want to improve their lives, but they don’t want to do anything differently. They are addicted to their way of being. To improve one’s life and make the difference on the planet requires trying different ways of being. Sometimes it requires challenge and sacrifice, but sometimes it’s just about enjoying the journey.
It has been six years since I started my journey to know myself. I had no idea at that time where I was going to end up, and that allowed me the freedom to have new experiences and to be different, From my heart I knew that there had to be something more out there because nothing that I was doing was fulfilling me.
Some parts of the journey have felt like a struggle, and in other parts I am reaping the fruit of my efforts. The first step in my journey was exploring discipline, and I experienced how powerful it was. I learned the influence of discipline on my feelings and emotions, and I started to understand my environment at a deeper level. I also became aware of other people’s behavior around me and the influence of our thoughts and our choices on each other and each other’s behavior.
I fell in love with discipline, meditation, and spiritual exercises, that allows me to be in the present moment and get me closer and closer to have a quiet mind. I started practicing self-observation and objectivity with my thought; this process allowed me to discover all the baggage that I needed to change or get rid of. At some points I was face-to-face with anger, self-pity, and sorrow. Sometimes I reacted, blamed, and complained, blending all of those emotions. In those moments I realized the effect of discipline and commitment in the process of spiritual development, in being able to see how I was actually creating my reality. I also observed past patterns of thinking, including coping mechanisms I used to hide myself in, using unproductive habits like overworking or excessive internet use when things got tough. Then instead I started developing ways that I could be in those challenging emotions, experiencing them. I observed myself in the present moment, observed how I was creating the experience. I could then see if the feeling was habitual, an addictive behavior that was that an unconscious reaction to the experience. In that process, I learned that I had so many wounds that I needed to heal, like blaming other for triggering a negative emotion. I realized it was something that I learned at home when I was little. Through this process I began to discover and trace how I developed my personality, and how I became who I am.
I also started to observe the usefulness of discipline to consciously create in my life. This is something that I have always enjoyed. I see the benefits of discipline in creating a business and focusing on one direction without the hassle of the standard ways of marketing, just maintaining the positive and direct thoughts of serving and loving what I do.
The objectivity and mindfulness I have developed has helped me stay conscious in my work. The unconscious habit that I catch myself in is thinking that just working harder is going to help me to solve a problem in the business, in my life or in being ‘productive.’ I think I am going to fill some emptiness. In those moments I now stop and look for what I am avoiding, what problem or what emotion I need to face.
In the journey of breaking my addictive behavior, I have found that the most important thing is to experience a deeper understanding of love. I am looking to receive all new people in my life into my heart, to experience divine friendship. Also, just as importantly, I look to experience and practice self love.
Posts tagged ‘metaphysics’
I’ve been looking for joy, and I found it today! It was a wonderful day today. I started with concentration and meditation exercises. Then I went to the Y to swim, followed by a super hot shower and a few minutes in the sauna. As I drove home, I listed all the things I was grateful for. Then I headed over to see my mom and sis and we cooked up some food, listened to some metaphysical goodness and did some visioning homework. We also did some goofy dancing and, my sister and I ended our visit with singing a few harmonized duets together. (“Come What May” from Moulin Rouge, “I Still Believe” from Miss Saigon, and “We Make a Beautiful Pair” from Shenandoah. Then I headed over to the School of Metaphysics. I had a pleasant, long talk with the director and then borrowed some audio recordings of some more awesome metaphysical content from one of my classmates. (We plan on getting together to work on the study course together.) Then, I attended the last class of the Spiritual Ethics course, led the Healing Service for the week, and had a jam session with the director and my dad in preparation for the Universal Hour of Peace on December 31st at the school. On my way home I listened to some of my more recent intuitive reports. All in all a truly wonderful day. I can’t wait to see what I dream about tonight. (And, subconscious mind, PLEASE give me something that I can understand. Seriously.)
Wishing you all a wonderfully, joyous week! ❤
Photo explanation: This was my creation for the day, my artsy outfit. (It looks a little better in person.) What’s fun about this is that every piece has a little story. I’ve had my glasses for around 5 years. (Thankfully, my vision hasn’t changed much.) One of the earpieces is chewed away from when Bowser was still in his chewing phase. The scarf is a recent purchase from Clothes Mentor, a resale shop near my house, after I first started changing my look to more of a Type 1 from Dressing Your Truth. The turtleneck is a Kohl’s purchase when I was looking for some simple backup tops for teaching. The necklace is Lia Sophia that I won at one of my friends’ parties. The purple frilled vest is a recent gift from one of my Metaphysics students after she noticed my wardrobe shift. The skirt is a purchase from a visit to Maplewood, Missouri during an SOM teacher’s conference. One of the girls had forgotten her teacher’s skirt, so we went walking to the nearby clothing shops together before the first meeting started, and we each purchased a skirt. The bright pink tights are from when I was in a Back Street Boys 80’s dance with other teachers from the elementary school where I used to work. The socks are. . . just regular socks. I think I ordered them on Amazon. And the shoes are ones that I was recently reunited with when my Mom was cleaning out her things. (They are so cute and perfectly snug around my narrow feet! Such a happy reunion. <3)
I just came back from the Still Mind Weekend in Windyville, Missouri. It was fantastic. I didn’t want to come back. . . mostly because I didn’t want to deal with the odds and ends that were waiting for me back at home. But I realized 2 things with that thought: 1. I need to honor my entire existence, including the physical (Can’t avoid it!). 2. All this stuff is really not a big deal in the whole picture of existence, anyway (so no point in freaking out about it).
I got my 4th intuitive report in the last 5 months. I really did not intend to get that many reports this year (and at once!). I just wanted the Creative Mind report and the Dharma report this year. Buuuut I jumped on the Meditation report when it moved weekends — I’d really been wanting that one. And I really wanted to get another Health Analysis report in solidarity with my metaphysics students who were getting theirs. (Great decision.) I’m glad it worked out this way because all 4 have been connected and have helped me understand myself better and my purpose this lifetime.
So, in a nutshell, I need to be with people, and I need to help people. This idea was cemented for me when I listened to all 11 of my intuitive reports back-to-back on the ride back from Windyville. My first past life profile from my earlier lessons says: “This one needs to aid others in the way that this one has been aided.” And all 4 of my recent intuitive reports mention people. My Creative Mind report says that I open my creative mind when I emulate others. My Dharma report says that I need to understand, respect, and appreciate others’ kharma — what they are working on in this lifetime. My health analysis says that I need to share my imaginative visions with others while having a healthy respect for others’ thoughts, ideas, and gifts. And my Meditation report says that I need to better understand influence — how it affects me and others — and to use it in leadership and for understanding, for the good of all concerned.
It is then no wonder that I get out of my mental slumps when I get out of the house and am around people. It is no wonder that I LOVE teaching metaphysics and enjoy helping my tutoring students. When I get wrapped up in my own thoughts I am in ego and conscious mind. When I am with others I reconnect with subconscious and superconscious mind. I suspect that the plan tucked away in my superconscious mind is basically about serving others to the benefit of humanity. My last report says I’ve already been putting things in place for the work I’m to do. I am in a service field: tutoring and teaching. I have expanded my volunteer work in the School of Metaphysics (teaching, lecturing, attending events, becoming the director-in-training). And I intend to serve through media, too, by continuing to blog and to start writing inspirational children’s stories.
A lot of what we talk about in the school comes down to purpose. Why are we doing what we’re doing? My answer: serving others for the good of all concerned.
Sending you all love, joy, and renewed insight into your purpose for this lifetime! ❤
Image of the World Headquarters in Windyville, Missouri (www.som.org), location of the Still Mind Weekend.
Perspective and “Ms. Self-Righteous”
My dharma has been coming up quite a bit in the last week (or at least I’m more aware of it now). The old dharma, that is. My dharma report says I need to evolve my dharma. I notice my dharma these days when I get all riled up over something that I disagree with or that I want to control. Yesterday it came up with Brian. That’s when I became aware of another aspect of myself: “Ms. Self-Righteous.” I think she’s twin sisters with “Ms. Manipulator.” When I want to control something, they team up.
Basically, what I’m talking about is when I get a particular perspective and the blinders go on. This one thing is right, and this other thing is wrong, and I want the other person to see this or fix this — or in general, I just want to control this.
Last weekend on the car ride back from our National Teacher’s Weekend I found myself in a situation that I hadn’t expected, and I had a pretty confident opinion about how I thought things should go. I presented a compromise, but I secretly hoped that the others involved would see the light and go along with my original plan. Nope. They took the compromise with no problem. This was a shock to me because sometimes the manipulation worked with Brian.
So, when I spoke with Brian yesterday and he called me out on my self-righteous tone, I was shocked into awareness and began to reflect on last week and some of my other experiences. I realized that I have an attachment to my way of thinking, my way of seeing things, and I feel frustrated and helpless when I can’t get my way. This is not what I want.
New plan: go with the flow. Allow for different perspectives. Expand the possibilities. Invite experiences. Also, I would like to see learning as more of a game, as an exploration. I would like to experiment with life with clear intentions and observe how things unfold. And then at the end of the day, gather all the clay, rework it, and see what enfolds.
Finding the Gold
We’ve got to take the “good” that we can out of every learning experience. One of my classmates commented on a presentation he’d heard and how one thing the presenter said in the beginning caused him to shut down and not pay any attention to the rest of the presentation. I was amused by this because I had listened to the exact same presentation and had felt it had blown my mind and expanded my awareness in at least 5 different ways! Our metaphysics teacher explained that we need to “find the gold” in any experience, in any person — in anything! If we want to find something valuable — we will! If we expect to find something awful, we will. (And we’ll miss out on the good stuff!) Our teacher then began to talk about famous “good” people and how even they were not perfect. (But they still did some pretty awesome things!) Look for the gold; look for the good. Every moment has treasure and meaning. We can be grateful for this. All we need are open eyes and an open heart.
This morning I found myself judging a situation again. I was suddenly aware of the processes of my mind and how I was quickly concluding with “disgust” (another aspect of myself) and a certainty in my opinion. I then paused and recognized something greater than my opinion — a desire to connect with someone and be a support for him in a situation that could be for his highest good. And I recognized a few ways I modify the situation for myself to make it moderately pleasant for me.
We cannot change anyone. We can only change ourselves. Sometimes we can’t change a situation, but we can change how we look at it. We can find the gold. . . and then let it go.
Many blessings of love and joy to all of you. ❤
My life became chaotic this past month. It’s finally calming down now. I’ve been trying to figure out the meaning behind it all, and the beautiful thing is — there isn’t simply one meaning. I can look at this craziness from different perspectives.
From one perspective — I created this chaos, and probable because I enjoy it. My metaphysics teacher told me this, and I agreed with her. “Create with purpose!” she told me. “If your life is full of purposeful activity, you will have no need for all of this craziness.” I am indeed a creator. I would like my creations to be a little less stressful, indeed. . .
From another view, the universe is trying to teach me some lessons. Often when I try to micromanage parts of my existence, things completely unravel. I then question: “Is all of my work for naught?” Well, yes. Because the purpose of my existence is not to force my life to fit into a neat little box. I’m to be a creator! An explorer! A student of life! A spiritual teacher! It seems the universe is warning me that my priorities are all out of whack. I’m too focused on my environment, on what is outside of me. I think I’m finally listening, universe!
So, here I sit, in the calm after the storm, looking out into the horizon. No matter what storm hits this place, I must keep a cool interior.
Image courtesy of George Stojkovic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
In the School of Metaphysics we study ourselves. I am quite a study! Recently I’ve become interested in my highs and lows. I laughingly attribute the duality to my Gemini moon, but I’m curious about it. How can I go so quickly from such a soaring high to such a deep low? I know that I have immense potential as a creator, and I would like to understand my ebbs and flows a little better, to ride the waves — instead of trying to tread water and then flailing in the extremes. I’m looking forward to receiving my Creative MInd report when I attend the Genius Code Spiritual Focus session next month in Windyville. I hope it shines more light on this. To be continued. . .
Do you experience something similar?
This song always brings me back to paradise:-) :
And of course this one . . .
Image courtesy of M-Pics at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I have been told that I am powerful. I know it to be true. There is a power within all of us — and we are the creators of our lives! Sometimes it’s easier to see the power of our negativity than our positive influence. I’ve had some dark thoughts circulating recently, and I can actually feel the heaviness of them. I feel them weighing me down. Sometimes I can feel them darkening a space. I resolved today to create the perpetual intention of love. No matter what I’m doing, taking activity, speaking, teaching — whatever! — everything will have love behind it. One of our activities during the workshop this past weekend was setting a goal of something to give that day, that week, that month, that year, etc. For each spot, I put: LIGHT! I’ve been projecting light. Today I did it a few times throughout the day, to my students, to the world, and to those I knew I’d be interacting with. It really does work. It was a beautiful, connected day.
I have some pretty deeply entrenched “negative” thought patterns that I don’t want anymore. I’m beginning to see the possibilities with optimism, excitement, and expectation. Wonderful things really do come to those who believe! So, I’m going to catch those worries, those doubts, those FEARS and replace them with trust, faith, and love.
What are you giving this week? ❤
Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net