I am organized but not perfectly neat. I like to say: “Ask me for something, and I can find it for you — but give me 5 minutes.” The car, the kitchen table, and the office are areas that tend to build up a bit until I freak out and go on a cleaning rampage, and losing something can speed up that process. Unfortunately, I may also lose my mind; it’s like I have a fragile but functional Jenga organizational system, and if you pull a block out, my sense of sanity comes crashing down. I was missing 4 items, and suddenly I needed them. They were my Dreamer’s Dictionary, and my 3 CDs of intuitive reports – Past Life, Health Analysis, and Past Life Crossing. I needed the dictionary for a creative art project I was to complete tonight at the school. I needed the Past Life Crossing CD to lend to a classmate for her creative project. I found the book in my office, and the 3 CDs were actually in the car, stuck between the seats. Order is restored. The world is right again.
My coworkers are awesome. It is truly the best, best part of my job. And I am so grateful to the School of Metaphysics for reaching me to find friends everywhere because now I am privileged to know some beautiful people. Today I highlight a coworker who calls himself a pessimist and cynical — and maybe he is — but who somehow always brightens my day. Today I was struggling through another bout of emotional turmoil, and he picked up on it immediately and commented on it, saying I was either sad or angry, based on the reddish hue of my face. (I insisted it could have been sunburn but was impressed nonetheless.) I confided I was working through some things, and he offered sympathy. And that made all the difference in the world: my light venting and his matching empathy. So often I’m amazed how simple interactions with others can flipflop my mood from depression to joy in a matter of seconds.
I still feel like the world is ending when I go though my emotional roller coasters. In the past I would want to have some wine. I would want to have a candy bar. I would want someone to comfort me and take care of me. Since I have given up alcohol and am trying to cut back on the vending machine — and the machine wouldn’t accept my taped dollar anyway — and I’m trying to be more self-sufficient — I’ve felt my emotions more keenly and haven’t known what to do with them. Sometimes I just want them to go away! But beneath all the turmoil today I recognized a sense of gratitude. Because of my studies, I now know that strong emotions are signals of potential lessons. The pangs are growing pangs, and I do want to grow and learn. Today I recognized that my emotional reaction toward another was actually frustration with myself, which I worked on rectifying. And in the second case, I needed to express myself and make sure I didn’t “give” with resentment, and I was successful in expressing myself to a receptive classmate. (Yay for metaphysical peeps!)
I’ve been wanting, wanting, wanting to create something artistic, to draw something. But I could not get myself to do it. When my teacher told us to create with a group, I saw my chance to play. One of my classmates had the idea of making an illustrated dream dictionary, and I put it into action. 4 of us students picked symbols we’d been seeing in our dreams recently, wrote down the symbolism, and created a picture to go with it. It felt amazing to finally create images with colors, and I was just as amazed at the wealth of knowledge of the students with me. I find it kind of amusing — and very humbling — how much I learn from the students who are in earlier lessons than I am. I guess it goes to show how unique we are as individuals. Things that I’m struggling with as an individual may already be strengths in another. We all have our talents, and we are all moving on our own paths at different rates.