Posts tagged ‘life change’

Are You Ready for the Rest of Your Life? (THINK BIG!)

This past weekend I had an amazing experience, and I made a bold move, a decision that would facilitate big changes for myself.  (More to follow)

Why did I do it?

Because I couldn’t imagine not doing it.

I couldn’t continue to live life the way I’ve always lived.  I knew where I was headed, and I didn’t like it.  Stability.  Monotony.  Small changes.  Small life. . . and a small ME.

I AM the change I wish to see in the world, and I am a living example.  I dream big.  I live big, and I believe in myself.  And I know that by being my biggest, best me — by letting my light shine and going after my dreams — I will give others permission to do the same. “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. . .  as we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson

What are you going to do with the most important day of your life? (TODAY!)

Tomorrow I (besides my other awesomeness will):

  1. Wake up at 5:30am.  (Naps acceptable).
  2. Take my new contacts out of packaging and locate the solution and case.
  3. Two-hand point at myself and tell myself “I love you, Self!”  and “Teri, you are larger than life!” every time I pass a mirror.
  4. Swim
  5. Blog (even if it’s just a sentence)
  6. Continue my new spiritual exercise.
  7. Have an awesome interview.
  8. Have 3 kick-butt classes with my students.
  9. Connect with my friend.
  10. Continue to be awesome. ❤

Bless you all.  Welcome to rest of your life! 😀

Early Mid-Life Crisis?

Yes, I feel like I’m going through an early mid-life crisis, and the worry tears me apart sometimes. I’m not supposed to have one of these until I’m 40, right? But, no, here I am at the young age of 30 trying to figure out what the heck I’m supposed to be doing with my life. And what makes it worse is that I’m an indecisive young woman who wants both chocolate AND vanilla, who hates closing doors behind her, and who would rather dip her toe in at every point in the river, rather than pick a location and wade directly across.

How did I get here? My good friend tells me that this is a normal part of the human process. It’s normal to change situations in life because we are changing beings. If you are a different person than you were 10 years ago, you may not fit in your job anymore. That’s a little more comforting than my explanation: I’ve been wishy-washy all through my life, falling into a major so that I could give myself some sort of identification and falling into a job because otherwise my parents might boot me out of the house. So, as you can see, her explanation is much more pleasant.

So, now what? Afraid to make a bad decision, and comfortable with the familiar (but also bored and frustrated with it), I can’t find a single job that truly interests me. And at this point, I’m not sure if I should be looking for the perfect job or looking for my “rebound” job that will get me from point A to point C. Anything that seems like it could be interesting also seems to have qualifications that I do not have, i.e. experience in that field. Where is the “looking for ex-teacher who wants to try something new, possibly involving writing or editing or something else creative and also leaves the world a better place?” job? (And I’ve actually tried to google something pretty close to that. . .)

A part of me wants a brainless job. And by brainless, I don’t mean a stupid job. I mean, I can go in, do my job without too much stress, and check out and leave it behind. I would like to have a job that isn’t 75% of my life. I remember some years ago I was reading a book with creative job options, and one that sounded particularly appealing was traveling around Europe picking fruit. Permanent career option? Hardly. Not even a full-time option, as it would be seasonal, but how completely lovely. Just me, the trees, and the European landscape. (audible sigh) The simple life. But then, I was the one in my foreign exchange college experience who imagined staying behind in the little Mexican village, instead of returning to the university and the states. I never pursued anything like either of those ideas, and now I’ve truly tied myself down with a mortgage, a boyfriend, and 3 kids( two cats, and a dog, which, let’s face it, are a lot less mobile than 3 human kids).

That means that for now I am a spectator on a stomach-wrenching stage as my pessimist :“You will never find an interesting job that you are qualified for AND doesn’t require you to move/leave your boyfriend and animals/sell your soul, etc” wages vicious battle against my optimist: “Your perfect job is just around the corner. Everything in your life has led up to this point, and you are exactly where you need to be. Just keep visualizing, believe, and go get it!”  And I really hope that the optimist is right!
Image: David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Blind, But Now I See. . .

I’ve changed quite a bit from the girl I was in high school. Well, yes, I’m still a nerd. I still enjoy music , athletics, acting, learning. . .

But my innocence is gone. My faith is gone. Sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I miss the days when I believed every person can be good and that the world was overall . . . good. I remember when I’d believed: “The Earth must be fixed!” when my science classes stopped talking about Earth Day, and “Reuse, Reduce, and Recycle.” I remember I liked everyone and everyone liked me. I didn’t see the negative things in life – or I ignored them. I believed that everything would turn out all right. God would take care of it.

Now I know that people can be cruel, cruel to the point of psychotic behavior, and society will let them get away with it. I learned people are poor because others don’t share, and worse – others steal from them. I learned that I did not want to follow a religion and that I wasn’t sure what I thought about God. I learned that the environment is in trouble but that most people (including myself at times) don’t want to see it or are willing to believe the powerful people that tell them that everything is really fine. I learned not to trust. And I learned to question. . . everything. I learned that one person cannot make a difference when opposed by a very wealthy, powerful adversary, that there really is not liberty and justice for all.

I don’t go to church. I don’t say the pledge of allegiance. I’ve stopped giving to certain charities. I’ve stopped watching TV. I’ve filtered my news sources. I read books and watch documentaries that make me angry, and I’m disgusted, disgusted with the whole world.

My eyes are wide open, and I feel like I now really see . . . for the first time. And what I see is truly, achingly painful. So much that sometimes. . . I wish I were still blind.

Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: