Posts tagged ‘learning’

Camino Thoughts: Living vs. Processing

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I’ve realized over the last few days that the Camino was meant to be lived.  Now is the time for processing.  There were times while walking on the Camino when I thought: “Ah yes, I’m alone now.  So, it must be time to think.”  But I found myself resistant to that notion. I pictured myself at a laptop, as I am now, or writing at my desk in my journal.  I was pretty resistant to purposely “thinking.”

So, I yielded.  I focused on the way.  I focused on continuing to take footsteps.  On uphills, I sang.  On downhills I watched my footing.  But, often, I flew down, allowing gravity to run down the path with me. Sometimes I distracted myself with random thoughts, so I wouldn’t think about how tired or sore or how hungry I was, or how much I was wishing I was already at the next albergue (hostel).  Other times I noticed the trees, the sky, the mountains, the fields and rivers, the flowers, the birds and butterflies, the people ahead of and behind me.  At times as I walked, I looked in my guidebook at was coming up or munched on a snack from one of my side pockets.  I debated whether to make this next town a bathroom and snack stop — or if I could continue on through.

That was my Camino.  I was in it.  It was me, and my backpack, and the open road.  It was enough.  And it was wonderful.  ❤

Blessings, love, and light. ❤

Going Deeper (Thoughts & Karma)

ID-100134370I realized I’m starting to work with the suggestions from my  dharma report: I’m starting to follow the path of karma.  I’m following chains of thoughts a little further.  In the past few days I had a few interactions with one of my metaphysics students that really opened my eyes and helped me grow.  I had the chance to meet with her today and share it with her.  First, I had a situation where I needed to take immediate action, and I needed to meet with her immediately before going out of town this weekend.  I was worried she would feel inconvenienced and wouldn’t want to help.  I didn’t even want to talk with her.  But I realized from what we’d just been talking about in class that I needed to change my frame of mind. I needed to find a way to be comfortable with my request and to have faith that we could work it out. And she was perfectly fine and gracious and had no problem with my last-minute request.

Then today I had a situation where I had a last-minute potential job for the day, and it conflicted with this same meeting I’d planned with my student.  I stressed about it for hours in between my errands and tutoring appointments.  It was interesting to observe the paths of my thoughts: the frenzy and the anxiety, the repetitive thoughts, the blaming of other people for the circumstances that had necessitated this meeting, the blaming of myself, the belief that I could somehow, somehow make both work, resigning myself to limited sleep and extra driving, attachment to the potential for extra income, the nail-biting waiting for a returned call, and finally the resolution of sticking with the original plan and letting the job go.  It ended up working out great, and I am grateful for the precious time I had with my student.  And I realized that it was probably better that the job hadn’t worked out.  There was learning in that situation for all of us involved.

There is a lot I have left to learn about money and about the Laws of Prosperity and Abundance.  (My angel numbers messages continue to warn me to keep me thoughts out of the physical realm and focus on my life purpose.  Leave your needs up to us!) And there is a lot to learn about Karma.  But I feel like I’m on the brink of some big realizations.  I’m beginning to see how my frame of mind is preventing me from receiving and how I can begin to shift this.  I pray to God and the angels and Masters to help me with my next steps (because I’m not making it on my own yet!), and I look forward to the awesome things that are coming!

Love and blessings to you all. ❤

Image courtesy of Aduldej at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Do Your Dreams Mean to You?

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Do you pay attention to your dreams? Or are they just part of the sleeping experience?  Just another fixture in your day-to-day existence?

What if your dreams actually have messages for you?  Imagine a pile of love letters left unopened.  What might you be missing?

For over 40 years teachers and students at the School of Metaphysics have been studying dreams. We connect dreams to the previous 24 to 48 hours of our life experiences before the dream and dig for the messages that our own dreams are trying to tell us.   We are like detectives peering into our own souls.  After we decipher the dream’s message, we apply the learning to help ourselves, so that we can grow. We believe that life is our schoolroom, and we are here to become the best versions of ourselves.

Your dreams are about you. Every part of the dream – every person, place, and thing in your dream is a part of you. And the messages from your dreams come from you. They come from the inner you, the inner teacher, your inner soul mate.  And that inner teacher is always trying to help you, to mentor you, to give you understandings and truth – if you will listen.

Anyone can interpret his/her own dreams. There’s actually a science to it. And you are your best teacher. You are your best interpreter because your messages come from you!

Would you like to start opening those messages?  You can start at any time.  Get a journal or a notebook and start recording what you remember each morning.  Then start to look for patterns for the symbolism behind it.  Join a dreams Meetup group.  Read books or look on-line.  Take on-line courses through dreamschool.org or in-person through psychology classes or the nearest branch of the School of Metaphysics (www.som.org).  Do you have questions?  You’ve got answers!

Photo credit: Viktor Hanacek

Exploring my Emotions

ID-100134250I’m learning about my ego and the many aspects of my self. I thought I was just going to have a journey into letting myself experience my emotions and speaking my truth, being transparent. But I’ve gotten more than what I asked for (not a happy surprise – but great for growth!)

I’m learning about myself through other people, not just through self-exploration. I thought that I was just going to explore strong emotions. I was going to let myself feel the fear/anxiety and be present and feel reactions from other people. This has happened. I’ve realized that sometimes I don’t do things because of the physical reactions I have to fear and to rejection. It’s the physical (bodily) feelings that I am most anxious about. They are uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do with them once I have them.

But I also discovered (surprise, surprise) that some of what I was afraid of from other people was actually a projection of myself. For example, I had an interaction with a person that resulted in a huge angry reaction. It was good for me to be in the moment and to experience this emotion. I continue to feel the aftereffects of my fear in regards to this situation and what may occur in the future. (I need to remember to stay in the present moment.)

However, what I consider as the bigger epiphany came from talking with my partner. When I shared about my experience with the angry person and how I learned to be present and feel and how I learned to both accept and allow my feelings and also learned to allow the other person to feel what she was feeling – he told me to now flip that circumstance around. And then I would understand what happens when I get angry around him. This felt like a kick to the stomach. I had no idea how I might be affecting him. I was just so used to my anger and the patterns that I have developed. I now began to reflect on how I joke about how my partner takes the brunt of my emotions. I asked him if he could feel my emotions inside his body, and I was surprised to learn that he does. The anger that I’m afraid of from other people . . . is also an anger that I hold within myself. I began to reflect on the duality of my existence. Everyone thinks I’m “sweet” because I am Jekyll to most people. And my partner gets my other extreme – the built up, pent up “Hyde”.

So, this is how I want to apply this to my life. What I applied and was the most effective was 1. Being in the moment. When I began to fear possibly events in the future — particularly happenings involving other people — I realized that I was having imaginings without having any idea of the place the other person was in. The best thing to do is stay present in what I’m doing and stay present in the event that I’m anticipating. 2. Surrender. I imagined having my heart and actually my whole self fully open. Like lying back with my arms out and my torso completely open. Like, “Hey, world, this is me! Take me as I am!” 3. Recognize judgments as they surface. Recognize them and identify them as unproductive. Accept and allow my experience, accept and allow the experience of others. And not presume that I know what’s going on with other people. 4. Receive first. Receive from the other person. Know where they are coming from, what they need. Relate.

That is all for now.

Image courtesy of Aduldej at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tribute Tuesday: Spiritual Focus Sessions

I’ve just come back from back-to-back Spiritual Focus Sessions through the School of Metaphysics: Spirit of the Healer and Powers of 10.  They were amazing from start to finish.  Besides the highlight of the sessions — the in-person intuitive reports — the lessons, activities, meals, reflections, and personal interactions were eye-opening and life-changing.  I left with an open heart and a stirred soul (and a lot to process!)

Please check out the upcoming sessions, and maybe I’ll see you there 🙂 :

Spiritual Focus Sessions through the School of Metaphysics.

 

 

Summary Saturday/Sunday: It’s the Weekend! — End of an Era, Cleanliness, What Do I Eat?, Where Do I Go from Here?, Control Freak?, and Why I Received This

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s the Weekend! — End of an Era

I’ve sometimes wondered if anyone gets annoyed when radio stations announcers get excited about the “weekend”?  It makes me wonder who the listeners are for that station.  What about the waiter/waitresses, retail workers, computer programers, bank tellers, car dealers, customer service representatives, etc who don’t have a “weekend”?  As a weekend worker myself, I was at least amused.  And next week marks the reclamation of my first “weekend” day back.  I used to have 3 consistent tutoring students on Sundays.  One ended for the summer, one switched to Monday nights, and my writing/clarinet student of 2 years had his last lesson with me today.  (The student’s parents seemed sadder to see me go, but I know he’s feeling it somewhere inside, too!)  I am ecstatic to have the time back.  If you ever start feeling bored, just fill up your schedule ridiculously much and then slowly start taking things away —  like the farmer who complains he can’t sleep, then proceeds to add animal-after-animal to his house upon the advice of a wise man, and finally can sleep after he takes all of the animals away again.  The power of perspective and attitude is amazing.

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Cleanliness

I am coming to realize my guests will likely never see a perfectly clean house again.  The carpet is worn, I haven’t dusted, I couldn’t catch all of the cat fur, I could have scrubbed harder, and I may have missed some spots around  and in the furniture.  But every little bit helps, and most of the rooms are pretty clutter-free, the countertops are clean, the dishes are done, the area is vaccumed, and I gave the kitchen sink and floor a good scrub.  Even though it isn’t perfect, it feels that much more pleasant to be home.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Do I Eat?

Today I had to laugh at myself because I realized I’m still a child in some ways.  (Actually, many ways, but let’s focus on one thing at a time. . .)  People — like my parents — have said that the cure to a picky eater is simple: They choose to eat what you give them, or eventually they’ll get hungry and will eat what’s available.  Today I felt into one of those “There’s nothing to eat!” episodes, staring despondently at the emptying freezer and fridge.  Translation: There’s nothing snack-y or ready made for me to eat.  Thankfully reasoning kicked in, and I took a deeper look at what was available.  I finished the leftover soup Then, I pulled out the leftover broccoli stems (I’d used the heads for salad), cut off the questionable parts, and chopped the rest into chips that I doused in olive oil and set to bake in the oven.  Then I rescued some strawberries, cutting of the squishy and moldy parts and getting that satisfying snack I was craving.  Satisfied my hunger and cleaned out more of the fridge.  Bonus!  . . .  And just now Brian came home with some leftover strawberry cheesecake ice cream cake — Holy cow, it must be Christmas! 🙂

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where Do I Go From Here?

Sometimes it’s good to take that look back on your life and try to find the thread that ties all of the pieces together, so you can see your growth and not beat yourself up over your “failure”s.  Fore example, I like to beat myself up over studying education.  I often ruminate over that talk with my college counselor, when she called me into her office, and I confided that I had little idea of what I wanted to do with my life “but I’d thought about maybe teaching.”  I later berated myself for my indecision, for going along with what I thought I was “supposed to do” and not going for what I wanted to do.  “Look at me now!” I’d say.  “I’m working in a warehouse!”  “Where did that education  actually get me?”  But as I turn around and take a panoramic view of my situation, I begin to see some things.

First of all, where did that idea for teaching come from?  It was not a strong urge, but the notion came from somewhere.  I’d remembered playing teacher as a child.  I knew I loved to learn.  Maybe classroom teaching didn’t turn out to be the love of my life, but there was something that about teaching that had gotten my attention, and I believe it was my intuition.  I knew I had an urge to learn, and I knew I had an urge to teach.  I was on the right track.

Second, I have been blessed because of teaching.  If it weren’t for teaching, I likely wouldn’t have the house I have now.  Thus, I’m not sure if I would have met Brian.  I wouldn’t have met my wonderful colleagues, who I try to keep in touch with.  I wouldn’t have had the beautiful memories I’ve had of past students and fun experiences.

Third, I’ve learned some useful skill from teaching.  I’ve improved my communication skills, I’ve felt more comfortable giving lectures and presenting material.   I’ve learned how to problem-solve.  I’ve come to recognize and appreciate my patience, and I kept up my Spanish.

Finally — I am still teaching. When I quit teaching I stopped calling myself a “teacher.”  I my eyes, I was done.  But I’m really still teaching all of the time.  I’ve changed paths, but it’s the same road.  I tutor, I teach metaphysics classes, I’m considering starting preschool enrichment classes, and I teach whoever wishes to hear — whether it be through this blog, through social interactions, through Facebook, or through my example.  I am a teacher.  I was meant to be a teacher, and I knew it, though I didn’t know it.  The soul knows what it wants.

And, so, I’ve decided I need to shut up for a while.  Because I know.  Even as I cry out for clarification, afraid that I will be lost forever, my soul knows.  It’s just waiting me to be quiet for a moment and stay still enough to listen.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Control Freak?

I’ve been thinking a lot more about my most recent intuitive report, the Past Life Crossing.  I just shared it at a SIR (Society for Intuitive Research) meeting that focused on past life crossings.  I haven’t delved into this report as much as I have for my other intuitive reports — my Past Life and Health Analysis.  This particular report — the crossing — hadn’t resonated with me as much, and as it was a report I shared with Brian — who wasn’t sure how much he was into it, I didn’t put my full attention into it. However, I’ve begun noticing a few things.

First, that in that past life I’d been a caretaker of children.  I didn’t think that was a big deal, except that I’ve likely had many, many lifetimes doing many different things, and in this one I happened to be working with children.  Was that a message for me, a person considering working as a nanny or trying out preschool?

Also, the report drew my attention to my desire to “throw down anchors.”  I am frequently attempting to stabilize by trying to control my environment.  My report advised that this wasn’t useful, especially as it related to other people.  I can find centeredness — “control” — by aligning within myself.  Be still and find peace within, and the without will match.

I’ve been noticing more lately the judgements that surface in my thoughts and the frustrations I experience when people don’t act or respond in a certain way.  From an objective standpoint I can see how ridiculous this is — I cannot control other people!  I will find happiness by aligning with my own goals and purposes.  Beyond that I must keep the conduit of my heart open at all times, sharing love with all, attracting those who want to receive what I have to offer, and sharing of what I have to give.

I’m interested to see how I work through this lesson in the couple of weeks. . .

Image courtesy of nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why I Received This

I had an epiphany Friday morning when I was outside doing my exercises.  I was thinking about karma and situations the universe sends to me/I’ve sent to myself.  I was thinking about how one of the doctors of the school told my teacher that if someone was self-critical it meant that they needed that criticism.  I didn’t understand.  I thought I did.  I feared karma, and I struggled with the brutality of my inner thoughts.  Then Friday morning something clicked.  It’s all about love.  Why are we here?  We are here with a soul purpose.  And in each lifetime we seek to advance to be that much closer to enlightenment than we were before.  We are hear to learn and to grow.  Experiencing the same repeating, awkward, and uncomfortable situation is not punishment.  Recognizing areas of weakness is not meant to be for belittlement and derision.  It all comes from love.  Because someone who really loves someone hopes for — desires — the best for that entity.  And the best a person can do is continually change, continually grow.  To live and learn and benefit from every life experience.

So, that same lesson is not coming back again because my soul yearns for it, and the universe is on board.  I am recognizing areas for change because my soul sees an ideal and what’s me to be aware of what I need to be to reach it.  So, I will receive each loving gift.  Even if I do not at first appreciate its value, I will not return it.

Thankful Thursday: Found!, Sunny Coworker, Emotional Challenges, and Art

Found!

I am organized but not perfectly neat.  I like to say: “Ask me for something, and I can find it for you — but give me 5 minutes.”  The car, the kitchen table, and the office are areas that tend to build up a bit until I freak out and go on a cleaning rampage, and losing something can speed up that process.  Unfortunately, I may also lose my mind; it’s like I have a fragile but functional Jenga organizational system, and if you pull a block out, my sense of sanity comes crashing down.  I was missing 4 items, and suddenly I needed them.  They were my Dreamer’s Dictionary, and my 3 CDs of intuitive reports – Past Life, Health Analysis, and Past Life Crossing.  I needed the dictionary for a creative art project I was to complete tonight at the school.  I needed the Past Life Crossing CD to lend to a classmate for her creative project.  I found the book in my office, and the 3 CDs were actually in the car, stuck between the seats.  Order is restored.  The world is right again.

Sunny Coworker

My coworkers are awesome.  It is truly the best, best part of my job.  And I am so grateful to the School of Metaphysics for reaching me to find friends everywhere because now I am privileged to know some beautiful people.  Today I highlight a coworker who calls himself a pessimist and cynical — and maybe he is — but who somehow always brightens my day.  Today I was struggling through another bout of emotional turmoil, and he picked up on it immediately and commented on it, saying I was either sad or angry, based on the reddish hue of my face. (I insisted it could have been sunburn but was impressed nonetheless.) I confided I was working through some things, and he offered sympathy.  And that made all the difference in the world: my light venting and his matching empathy.  So often I’m amazed how simple interactions with others can flipflop my mood from depression to joy in a matter of seconds.

Emotional Challenges

I still feel like the world is ending when I go though my emotional roller coasters.   In the past I would want to have some wine.  I would want to have a candy bar.  I would want someone to comfort me and take care of me.  Since I have given up alcohol and am trying to cut back on the vending machine — and the machine wouldn’t accept my taped dollar anyway — and I’m trying to be more self-sufficient — I’ve felt my emotions more keenly and haven’t known what to do with them.  Sometimes I just want them to go away!  But beneath all the turmoil today I recognized a sense of gratitude.  Because of my studies, I now know that strong emotions are signals of potential lessons.  The pangs are growing pangs, and I do want to grow and learn.  Today I recognized that my emotional reaction toward another was actually frustration with myself, which I worked on rectifying.  And in the second case, I needed to express myself and make sure I didn’t “give” with resentment, and I was successful in expressing myself to a receptive classmate. (Yay for metaphysical peeps!)

Art

I’ve been wanting, wanting, wanting to create something artistic, to draw something.  But I could not get myself to do it.  When my teacher told us to create with a group, I saw my chance to play.  One of my classmates had the idea of making an illustrated dream dictionary, and I put it into action.  4 of us students picked symbols we’d been seeing in our dreams recently, wrote down the symbolism, and created a picture to go with it.  It felt amazing to finally create images with colors, and I was just as amazed at the wealth of knowledge of the students with me.  I find it kind of amusing — and very humbling — how much I learn from the students who are in earlier lessons than I am.  I guess it goes to show how unique we are as individuals.  Things that I’m struggling with as an individual may already be strengths in another.  We all have our talents, and we are all moving on our own paths at different rates.

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