Posts tagged ‘karma’

Perspective

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I had a huge breakthrough today on the lesson of “Perspective.”  Years ago I received my Dharma Report.  It told me that I had spent many lifetimes exacting what I saw as “justice”.  Justice is my dharma, or life’s purpose.  However, it went on to say that it was now time to evolve this dharma through an understanding of the Law of Karma (of Cause and Effect).  I didn’t understand this report AT ALL when I first received it.  I was thoroughly disappointed, even.  I had a dharma that wasn’t even a good dharma?  I had to evolve it? What??  At the time I couldn’t even fathom it.  I’m to be an observer?  I’m to let people make mistakes?  I just. . .  watch them. . .  Isn’t that too passive?

But today I pieced things together.  On my morning walk I was contemplating this and other intuitive reports I’d received. I’d heard things like ” energetic constriction of the heart” and “a great love for her  ideas.”  A great attachment, it sounded like.  Suddenly, this morning it suddenly clicked: I have a very strong attachment to my perspective.   Perspective is often tied to judgment.  Judgement is what colors what is.  A situation has no meaning until we give it meaning.  We are the ones who label what’s “good” or “bad.”

Have you noticed that many people talk about their greatest challenges as some of the most influential parts of their lives?  They sure struggled, but they also came out a different person at the other end.  They learned things in a way that no book or class could ever teach them.  They were wiser, stronger.  Would it have been fair to rob them of those experiences?  Do you know the story of the child who cut open the cocoon of the struggling, new butterfly? In the end, the prematurely freed butterfly was not strong enough to fly.

And sometimes we’re just plain wrong.  I was blown away by how many times I was “wrong” on the Camino.  I sometimes misread the map (argued over it, too!), or misjudged a person’s actions, misunderstood a person’s words, or dismissed the effectiveness of certain treatments.

“What am I supposed to learn here?” I wondered afterward, “Is the lesson that I’m not to trust myself?”

It was actually teaching me to let go of my perspective.  It was teaching me openness, flexibility, and letting go.

So, what do we do then?  Trust the process.  Observe.   Listen and receive carefully and completely before we dismiss. Do the best we can.  Offer our perspective when asked or called to share.  Do what we can with what he have.  Experiment, learn, grow.  And then, release.  Let it go, let life flow.

Love, light, and many blessings. ❤

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On Perspective, Finding the Gold, and “Ms. Self-Righteous” and “Disgust”

Perspective and “Ms. Self-Righteous”

My dharma has been coming up quite a bit in the last week (or at least I’m more aware of it now).  The old dharma, that is.  My dharma report says I need to evolve my dharma.  I notice my dharma these days when I get all riled up over something that I disagree with or that I want to control.  Yesterday it came up with Brian.  That’s when I became aware of another aspect of myself: “Ms. Self-Righteous.”  I think she’s twin sisters with “Ms. Manipulator.”  When I want to control something, they team up.

Basically, what I’m talking about is when I get a particular perspective and the blinders go on.  This one thing is right, and this other thing is wrong, and I want the other person to see this or fix this — or in general, I just want to control this.

Last weekend on the car ride back from our National Teacher’s Weekend I found myself in a situation that I hadn’t expected, and I had a pretty confident opinion about how I thought things should go.  I presented a compromise,  but I secretly hoped that the others involved would see the light and go along with my original plan.  Nope.  They took the compromise with no problem.  This was a shock to me because sometimes the manipulation worked with Brian.

So, when I spoke with Brian yesterday and he called me out on my self-righteous tone, I was shocked into awareness and began to reflect on last week and some of my other experiences.  I realized that I have an attachment to my way of thinking, my way of seeing things, and I feel frustrated and helpless when I can’t get my way.  This is not what I want.

New plan: go with the flow. Allow for different perspectives.  Expand the possibilities.  Invite experiences.  Also, I would like to see learning as more of a game, as an exploration.  I would like to experiment with life with clear intentions and observe how things unfold.  And then at the end of the day, gather all the clay, rework it, and see what enfolds.

Finding the Gold

We’ve got to take the “good” that we can out of every learning experience.  One of my classmates commented on a presentation he’d heard and how one thing the presenter said in the beginning caused him to shut down and not pay any attention to the rest of the presentation.  I was amused by this because I had listened to the exact same presentation and had felt it had blown my mind and expanded my awareness in at least 5 different ways!  Our metaphysics teacher explained that we need to “find the gold” in any experience, in any person — in anything!  If we want to find something valuable — we will!  If we expect to find something awful, we will.  (And we’ll miss out on the good stuff!)  Our teacher then began to talk about famous “good” people and how even they were not perfect.  (But they still did some pretty awesome things!)  Look for the gold; look for the good.  Every moment has treasure and meaning.  We can be grateful for this.  All we need are open eyes and an open heart.

This morning I found myself judging a situation again.  I was suddenly aware of the processes of my mind and how I was quickly concluding with “disgust” (another aspect of myself) and a certainty in my opinion.  I then paused and recognized something greater than my opinion — a desire to connect with someone and be a support for him in a situation that could be for his highest good.  And I recognized a few ways I modify the situation for myself to make it moderately pleasant for me.

We cannot change anyone.  We can only change ourselves.  Sometimes we can’t change a situation, but we can change how we look at it.  We can find the gold. . .  and then let it go.

Many blessings of love and joy to all of you. ❤

Going Deeper (Thoughts & Karma)

ID-100134370I realized I’m starting to work with the suggestions from my  dharma report: I’m starting to follow the path of karma.  I’m following chains of thoughts a little further.  In the past few days I had a few interactions with one of my metaphysics students that really opened my eyes and helped me grow.  I had the chance to meet with her today and share it with her.  First, I had a situation where I needed to take immediate action, and I needed to meet with her immediately before going out of town this weekend.  I was worried she would feel inconvenienced and wouldn’t want to help.  I didn’t even want to talk with her.  But I realized from what we’d just been talking about in class that I needed to change my frame of mind. I needed to find a way to be comfortable with my request and to have faith that we could work it out. And she was perfectly fine and gracious and had no problem with my last-minute request.

Then today I had a situation where I had a last-minute potential job for the day, and it conflicted with this same meeting I’d planned with my student.  I stressed about it for hours in between my errands and tutoring appointments.  It was interesting to observe the paths of my thoughts: the frenzy and the anxiety, the repetitive thoughts, the blaming of other people for the circumstances that had necessitated this meeting, the blaming of myself, the belief that I could somehow, somehow make both work, resigning myself to limited sleep and extra driving, attachment to the potential for extra income, the nail-biting waiting for a returned call, and finally the resolution of sticking with the original plan and letting the job go.  It ended up working out great, and I am grateful for the precious time I had with my student.  And I realized that it was probably better that the job hadn’t worked out.  There was learning in that situation for all of us involved.

There is a lot I have left to learn about money and about the Laws of Prosperity and Abundance.  (My angel numbers messages continue to warn me to keep me thoughts out of the physical realm and focus on my life purpose.  Leave your needs up to us!) And there is a lot to learn about Karma.  But I feel like I’m on the brink of some big realizations.  I’m beginning to see how my frame of mind is preventing me from receiving and how I can begin to shift this.  I pray to God and the angels and Masters to help me with my next steps (because I’m not making it on my own yet!), and I look forward to the awesome things that are coming!

Love and blessings to you all. ❤

Image courtesy of Aduldej at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Metaphysics Monday: Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

Image courtesy of Prawny / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Prawny / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thought of the day:

If you’re the type to “run away” when you’re uncomfortable, when the going gets tough, when you’re full of doubt and fear, I’m telling you now — CHANGE YOUR WAYS! Because some day you will decide that you want to grow, that you want to move, improve, be the best that you can be. And then all those things that you’ve been avoiding  YOUR ENTIRE LIFE — will slam right into you.

This is not the end of the world when this happens.  And it will happen.  Change is inevitable, and you face things eventually.  But I’m telling you, they’re a lot smaller and easier to handle when you face ’em right away!

 

Summary Saturday/Sunday: It’s the Weekend! — End of an Era, Cleanliness, What Do I Eat?, Where Do I Go from Here?, Control Freak?, and Why I Received This

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s the Weekend! — End of an Era

I’ve sometimes wondered if anyone gets annoyed when radio stations announcers get excited about the “weekend”?  It makes me wonder who the listeners are for that station.  What about the waiter/waitresses, retail workers, computer programers, bank tellers, car dealers, customer service representatives, etc who don’t have a “weekend”?  As a weekend worker myself, I was at least amused.  And next week marks the reclamation of my first “weekend” day back.  I used to have 3 consistent tutoring students on Sundays.  One ended for the summer, one switched to Monday nights, and my writing/clarinet student of 2 years had his last lesson with me today.  (The student’s parents seemed sadder to see me go, but I know he’s feeling it somewhere inside, too!)  I am ecstatic to have the time back.  If you ever start feeling bored, just fill up your schedule ridiculously much and then slowly start taking things away —  like the farmer who complains he can’t sleep, then proceeds to add animal-after-animal to his house upon the advice of a wise man, and finally can sleep after he takes all of the animals away again.  The power of perspective and attitude is amazing.

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Cleanliness

I am coming to realize my guests will likely never see a perfectly clean house again.  The carpet is worn, I haven’t dusted, I couldn’t catch all of the cat fur, I could have scrubbed harder, and I may have missed some spots around  and in the furniture.  But every little bit helps, and most of the rooms are pretty clutter-free, the countertops are clean, the dishes are done, the area is vaccumed, and I gave the kitchen sink and floor a good scrub.  Even though it isn’t perfect, it feels that much more pleasant to be home.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Do I Eat?

Today I had to laugh at myself because I realized I’m still a child in some ways.  (Actually, many ways, but let’s focus on one thing at a time. . .)  People — like my parents — have said that the cure to a picky eater is simple: They choose to eat what you give them, or eventually they’ll get hungry and will eat what’s available.  Today I felt into one of those “There’s nothing to eat!” episodes, staring despondently at the emptying freezer and fridge.  Translation: There’s nothing snack-y or ready made for me to eat.  Thankfully reasoning kicked in, and I took a deeper look at what was available.  I finished the leftover soup Then, I pulled out the leftover broccoli stems (I’d used the heads for salad), cut off the questionable parts, and chopped the rest into chips that I doused in olive oil and set to bake in the oven.  Then I rescued some strawberries, cutting of the squishy and moldy parts and getting that satisfying snack I was craving.  Satisfied my hunger and cleaned out more of the fridge.  Bonus!  . . .  And just now Brian came home with some leftover strawberry cheesecake ice cream cake — Holy cow, it must be Christmas! 🙂

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where Do I Go From Here?

Sometimes it’s good to take that look back on your life and try to find the thread that ties all of the pieces together, so you can see your growth and not beat yourself up over your “failure”s.  Fore example, I like to beat myself up over studying education.  I often ruminate over that talk with my college counselor, when she called me into her office, and I confided that I had little idea of what I wanted to do with my life “but I’d thought about maybe teaching.”  I later berated myself for my indecision, for going along with what I thought I was “supposed to do” and not going for what I wanted to do.  “Look at me now!” I’d say.  “I’m working in a warehouse!”  “Where did that education  actually get me?”  But as I turn around and take a panoramic view of my situation, I begin to see some things.

First of all, where did that idea for teaching come from?  It was not a strong urge, but the notion came from somewhere.  I’d remembered playing teacher as a child.  I knew I loved to learn.  Maybe classroom teaching didn’t turn out to be the love of my life, but there was something that about teaching that had gotten my attention, and I believe it was my intuition.  I knew I had an urge to learn, and I knew I had an urge to teach.  I was on the right track.

Second, I have been blessed because of teaching.  If it weren’t for teaching, I likely wouldn’t have the house I have now.  Thus, I’m not sure if I would have met Brian.  I wouldn’t have met my wonderful colleagues, who I try to keep in touch with.  I wouldn’t have had the beautiful memories I’ve had of past students and fun experiences.

Third, I’ve learned some useful skill from teaching.  I’ve improved my communication skills, I’ve felt more comfortable giving lectures and presenting material.   I’ve learned how to problem-solve.  I’ve come to recognize and appreciate my patience, and I kept up my Spanish.

Finally — I am still teaching. When I quit teaching I stopped calling myself a “teacher.”  I my eyes, I was done.  But I’m really still teaching all of the time.  I’ve changed paths, but it’s the same road.  I tutor, I teach metaphysics classes, I’m considering starting preschool enrichment classes, and I teach whoever wishes to hear — whether it be through this blog, through social interactions, through Facebook, or through my example.  I am a teacher.  I was meant to be a teacher, and I knew it, though I didn’t know it.  The soul knows what it wants.

And, so, I’ve decided I need to shut up for a while.  Because I know.  Even as I cry out for clarification, afraid that I will be lost forever, my soul knows.  It’s just waiting me to be quiet for a moment and stay still enough to listen.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Control Freak?

I’ve been thinking a lot more about my most recent intuitive report, the Past Life Crossing.  I just shared it at a SIR (Society for Intuitive Research) meeting that focused on past life crossings.  I haven’t delved into this report as much as I have for my other intuitive reports — my Past Life and Health Analysis.  This particular report — the crossing — hadn’t resonated with me as much, and as it was a report I shared with Brian — who wasn’t sure how much he was into it, I didn’t put my full attention into it. However, I’ve begun noticing a few things.

First, that in that past life I’d been a caretaker of children.  I didn’t think that was a big deal, except that I’ve likely had many, many lifetimes doing many different things, and in this one I happened to be working with children.  Was that a message for me, a person considering working as a nanny or trying out preschool?

Also, the report drew my attention to my desire to “throw down anchors.”  I am frequently attempting to stabilize by trying to control my environment.  My report advised that this wasn’t useful, especially as it related to other people.  I can find centeredness — “control” — by aligning within myself.  Be still and find peace within, and the without will match.

I’ve been noticing more lately the judgements that surface in my thoughts and the frustrations I experience when people don’t act or respond in a certain way.  From an objective standpoint I can see how ridiculous this is — I cannot control other people!  I will find happiness by aligning with my own goals and purposes.  Beyond that I must keep the conduit of my heart open at all times, sharing love with all, attracting those who want to receive what I have to offer, and sharing of what I have to give.

I’m interested to see how I work through this lesson in the couple of weeks. . .

Image courtesy of nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why I Received This

I had an epiphany Friday morning when I was outside doing my exercises.  I was thinking about karma and situations the universe sends to me/I’ve sent to myself.  I was thinking about how one of the doctors of the school told my teacher that if someone was self-critical it meant that they needed that criticism.  I didn’t understand.  I thought I did.  I feared karma, and I struggled with the brutality of my inner thoughts.  Then Friday morning something clicked.  It’s all about love.  Why are we here?  We are here with a soul purpose.  And in each lifetime we seek to advance to be that much closer to enlightenment than we were before.  We are hear to learn and to grow.  Experiencing the same repeating, awkward, and uncomfortable situation is not punishment.  Recognizing areas of weakness is not meant to be for belittlement and derision.  It all comes from love.  Because someone who really loves someone hopes for — desires — the best for that entity.  And the best a person can do is continually change, continually grow.  To live and learn and benefit from every life experience.

So, that same lesson is not coming back again because my soul yearns for it, and the universe is on board.  I am recognizing areas for change because my soul sees an ideal and what’s me to be aware of what I need to be to reach it.  So, I will receive each loving gift.  Even if I do not at first appreciate its value, I will not return it.

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