Posts tagged ‘ideal’

Various Thoughts


It’s been a while since I’ve written, and I really need to write.  So, here I go a ramblin’ a bit.  Gotta get the juices flowing again. . .

First of all, I’m tired.  It’s 11:35, and I should be in bed.  However, I have a lot that I wanted to accomplish, and I got pretty much all of it done.  There are a lot of exciting things happening this month, and I am really trying to put myself out there, get my face out there, take some activity toward my goals and toward being with people.

I actually enjoy my meditations now . . .  to the point that I don’t feel like it’s an “exercise.”  It’s actually a treat.  Well, I don’t feel this way ALL of the time, but more lately.  I’ve become more aware of my scattered brain, and I feel so at peace and centered when I do meditation and concentration exercises.

I’ve felt more at peace in general.  Before I kept thinking I was supposed to be doing something else.  Something BIG.  Lately I’ve come to respect the importance of the internal world.  I know that I am doing the work that I am supposed to be doing.  The environment doesn’t matter.  The circumstances don’t matter.  The activity is important but irrelevant.  I can complete the work anywhere.  And I am grateful to be involved in jobs and volunteer work that helps me reach my ideal: empowering others so that they may become self-empowered.

My latest life lesson is on the necessity of positivity.   I am receiving the message from all places.  The angel numbers all point me in that direction.  (A lot of 1’s with every combo — 2’s through 9’s!)  I listened to Abraham Hicks this week — same message.  Last night in Metaphysics class — same message.  There is a part of me that doesn’t want to give that up;  I have gotten very far by nitpicking.  I have been able to push myself pretty far and to help others by finding ways to improve.  But I realize I have taken it too far and that I sometimes suffer insecurity and from low self-worth.  So, to make this shift I am adopting the following thoughts/affirmations:

  • “I give myself permission to be positive.”
  • “There’s some great things going on here! (or There are some great things going on here!)”
  • “Everything is awesome!”
  • “What am I grateful for today?”

I want to change, and I want to manifest.  I believe it can happen.

Love and blessings to all of you beings of light. ❤

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at

Summary Saturday/Sunday: Working with Change

This weekend came at the tail end of some big change.  I left my full-time warehouse position on Friday and finished up my Spanish II tutoring Saturday morning.  I am relieved to have completed both of those, but I feel like I haven’t gotten a chance to breathe yet — and maybe I won’t!  There are things to do.   Goals to accomplish.   Gotta get moving.

It is a pattern of mine to be busy, and I’m taking a look at that.  Part of it is that I seem to fall apart without structure.  Another is that it’s an excuse not to look at my goal, purpose, and ideal.  Having downtime means having time to think, to reflect.  Busyness means I ain’t got time for that.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

Based on my experiences from the last days, the next few weeks are going to mean a couple of things for me.

  1. Baby Steps.  I feel a swelling panic within me because of the huge projects lurking over me; i.e.  starting my business, securing supplemental income, and cleaning the whole house.  If I panic, I will shut down.  I will procrastinate or do nothing at all.  So, my first plan is to find the mini goals within the big goal and schedule them and knock ’em out.  If the little goal still seems like too much, I will break it down even further.  For example: getting myself completely organized and the house completely clean turns into: Cleaning all of my excess stuff (changes of clothes, school books and papers, old winter jacket!, out of the car and dumping it in the kitchen.  Next small step: taking things off of the kitchen table and putting it back where it belongs — a few items at a time.  Also,  I’m wanting to set up a new bank account for the business, and I’m considering a local institution.  Seems daunting!   My baby step can be calling them up to get some info.  Or researching them for a few minutes.  If I’m being perfectionistic about setting things up, maybe I drop in and talk with someone first and then come again another time.  Anything to get me started.
  2. Stay Solid, But Stay Open.  I feel I don’t do well with change, especially anything that originates from an outside source.  One of my metaphysics classmates said that she struggles with change and that it’s a “Virgo” thing, and — as a fellow Virgo — I pounced on it as a convenient excuse for my limitation.  I know from experience and my intuitive reports that I desperately throw down anchors around me when things begin to shift around me.  The important thing is to become centered within myself.  Part of that is becoming secure in myself and who I am and what I’m meant to do.  If I can be secure within I will be able to take advice and suggestions better from without — a moldable, squishy  outside with a rock-hard core!

What have you learned about yourself this week?  How do you deal with change?

Summary Sunday: Quickening of Soul Progression (An Introduction)

How does one blog and complete one’s homework?  By blogging about one’s homework, of course!

“How has the study and application of metaphysics quickened my soul’s progression?”

Our class was instructed to go deep with this one.  How do we know our soul’s progression?  I think — as in the case of dream interpretation — it is something we intuit.  We know this; it’s about trusting that we know it.

Today I was thinking about death because I’ve heard about 3 funerals in the last few days.  Then I had my “Ah ha”! moment: if I were to die tomorrow, how much closer would I have gotten to my life’s purpose than yesterday?  What would this last year have meant to my growth?

Growth means change.  Before change comes awareness.  I am now aware of these things about my soul:

  1. I am the Illuminator.  I am to share my wisdom with others and help them in their soul growth.
  2. I have developed a karmic pattern of giving with resentment.  I am to understand and alter this.
  3. My purpose is self-empowerment.  This is my main lesson for this lifetime.
  4. Our ideal self is the best self we can imagine for ourselves.  My ideal self is unconditionally loving.  This includes being loving toward myself.
  5. My goal is to be still and present-minded.  I can accomplish this best through the practice of concentration and meditation.

. . .  Elaboration to follow in Part II tomorrow. . . .

Thankful Thursday: Mr. Sunshine

Image courtesy of maple /

Image courtesy of maple /

Today I give thanks for another School of Metaphysics student who I have just gotten to know better. (This seems to happen on these long weekends!) 🙂  His unbelievable optimism and love has inspired me so much that I have made him my image for how to think positively.

The first night of this past weekend, we invited this gentleman to join us in our tent.  (I have a HUGE tent that could probably fit 6-8 people, if we tried, and there were only 3 of us.) His group was not camping out as planned, and he seemed to have the itch to be outdoors.  He was overjoyed when we invited him.  However, Friday night it rained, and — despite the well-placed rain cover — water somehow entered the tent.  (I believe it soaked in from below or sloshed in from one or both of the doors.  I’m really not sure.)  Unfortunately, this young man was the one who got soaked.  And fortunately, this young man was the one who got soaked!

I woke last after a restless sleep, and when I finally met up with him, he was smiling and full of joy. “Are you ok?” I asked.  “Oh yes!” he said.  “The water began to slowly creep, and I kept readjusting, and finally I knew I had to get up.  And it was great!  I got up early enough to be prepared for my meditation, and I had a wonderful experience!”

I was flabbergasted.  It didn’t bother him that he’d gotten wet, lost some sleep, and had to hang his clothes out over some trees.  He was grateful for the experience.  In fact, he continued to thank me for allowing him the chance to camp out that night.  Suddenly any complaints I had seemed rather insignificant. . .

So, thank you, beautiful friend!  In your honor I will strive to think as you do, bringing light and love to any situation!

Teacher, Teacher

Image courtesy of photostock /

Image courtesy of photostock /

I am having MAJOR procrastination issues tonight.  I had some time to do some prep for a 10-minute talk that I’m going to give Wednesday, and I completely stalled.  I was even aware of the stalling as I was doing it — and I did it anyway.  So, in an effort to get a blog post done and do some thinking about my lesson (we’re supposed to present it as if we’re teaching it), I present to you some of the points of my assigned metaphysics lesson on friendship:

  • Give your full attention when you are interacting with another.  The more attention you give, the clearer the images will be that you present to the other, and the more easily you will be able to image what you are receiving.
  • “Begin identifying as a wise person.”  I have heard something similar said by Jeff Goins about being a writer:   Don’t fantasize about being a writer.  You are a writer!  Live like it!  The same can be said about being a wise person.  Live as if you are already enlightened, as if you are already living moment-t0-moment, as if you are already manifesting abundance and giving and receiving unconditional love.
  • Keys to friendship are honesty and openness.  They help us understand who we are, and we can share about the deeper meaning of life.
  • Expand your friendships by sharing what your discoveries about yourself and the world around you.
  • The more you share love, the more your capacity for love grows.
  • Do not let seemingly unpleasant experiences of friendship in the past ruin your opportunities and experiences of friendship in the present and future.
  • Keep your eyes open for friends of past lives!  Do not judge a book by its cover; follow your heart and stay attentive in every new interaction.  You may meet someone who you are attracted to or who you know you’ve known before/   You may also see the light of spirit in someone who is looking to grow, as you are.
  • Don’t forget the importance of developing friendship with yourself!  Dream analysis, willed concentration, and meditation are important means of connecting your conscious to your subconsious.  Take advantage!  Let your inner relationship grow!
  • Trust yourself.  (And love yourself.)
  • Be clear on your ideal and always keep it in the forefront of your mind.
  • Let your light shine — on everything!   (Don’t “keep it under a basket”, right? :-))  Make every moment count!
  • Love unconditionally, without reservation.  Love those who you feel you cannot love, especially them! They are in your life for a reason: perhaps to help you increase in your own compassion of others. . . or even of yourself!
  • Give and receive freely.  Keep the circle flowing.  And have a personal ideal and  purpose in your giving, to avoid the creation of resentment.  Resentment is poison.  (Boy, do I know this!)
  • Develop your ability to visualize.  And friendships can help with this.  (See the first note.)
  • What are your favorite affirmations?  (Which ones have you used this week?)  Be still and become aware of your thoughts.  Which ones are running your life?  Do not suppress those “negative” feelings; give yourself a healthy/safe outlet; and then objectively decide whether or not you want to continue in that direction.  When we do decide to make a change, “it produces ten times the results”!
  • Feeling uncomfortable inside?  That’s a good thing!  It’s your cue that you’re itching to do some learnin’ and growin’!
  • Thought is cause.  Prayer heals.
  • Seek first the truth and the light, seek a connection with the Source of creation, and then all will be given.  But don’t focus only on the second part of that!  We’ve all seen what happens to those who do.  Build your foundation, and the rest will come to you.

We give thanks for friendship!

You’ve Got Me Feelin’ Emotions

"Image courtesy of hyena reality /".

Image courtesy of hyena reality /”.

Emotions of the Day: Fear/Paranoia and Anger

Disclaimer: These are not the only emotions I had today, thank goodness — they are just the ones that I would like to learn from!

I had a mini-epiphany today and experienced a bit of euphoria.  I’d like to get it back!  I was feeling paranoid and fearful again today at work.  And I said to myself: “Ok.  Why is this coming up over and over again?  If emotions are the subconscious trying to tell us something , what is the lesson here?  One of the metaphysics lessons I was reviewing talked about recognizing negative affirmations and then directing the mind in a positive direction.  So, what did I want, then?  I imagined myself having a “Whatever” reaction to people I interacted with, in situations that were normally uncomfortable.  I realized this did not resonate with me.  It felt like I would be closing off.  What about loving myself?  And being happy with myself?  Sure, sure.  That sounds great.

Then, something clicked.  I’m not sure what it was, but I got it.  Loving myself, and accepting myself, while at the same time projecting that love out to whoever I was interacting with.  A “Self, I love you, just because you are” at the same time as a “Wow, hey, and I really love you!” to whoever had approached me.  Suddenly I felt like the my vision had expanded and I could see more of my surroundings.  Everything looked brighter, as if someone had turned the lights up a notch.  I think I had a taste of what enlightenment would feel like.  Gradually, it faded, but it gave me hope.  Maybe my insecure feelings are actually leading me right to my ideal (unconditional love for self and others) and my purpose (self empowerment).  I am exactly where I need to be.

Would love to stop there, but we humans can experience a lot of emotions in one day!  It can be hard to digest it all sometimes.  On the very same day as my euphoria, I experienced a bout of anger.  (I was angry earlier this week and tried the ice  suggestions from my lesson — ice packs are all I  actually had — the cold on my temples and the back of the head by the medulla oblongata, and that really works!)  I don’t feel like I had a big epiphany with this one, but I did acknowledge my emotion and recognize it as a need to express myself, and then eventually express it.  Pobrecito, Brian, but he is an excellent teacher for me!  The important thing is not to let the anger carry me, to take a step back, cool down, and work with the thoughts behind the emotions.    Also, I’m still working on addressing my anger sooner, when it’s still a little pocket of anger, as opposed to my jumbo-size garbage bag of  anger, that stretches and then explodes.

A lot of learning again today. I look forward to some great dreams tonight!


mage courtesy of scottchan /

mage courtesy of scottchan /

It’s all about balance . . . and having an idea of what I want in life, and of having some satisfaction with what I presently have.  I have fallen into the trap of never being happy, always imagining my situation could be better, and then being unhappy again with my new situation.

This is what’s happening with my work life.  Earlier this summer I didn’t have enough work.  My final year as a classroom teacher was done, the summer was free, and I was desperately looking for something to fill the void.  Did I enjoy my time off?  No!  I felt guilty for being free.  I was consumed by worry about where my income was going to come from.  Where was that stable job or two that would give me a break from the stresses of teaching but also give me a little bit of security?

So, then I got one.  And another.  And another.  And these  3 jobs — though still not enough to comfortably pay all of my monthly expenses — began to drive me into the ground.

And now I’m at the point where I have to decide what I want.  I know I don’t want this.  Don’t get me wrong — I don’t regret a single thing I did —  but I know things can’t stay this way forever.

So, what do I want?  I would like one  job.  It would like a single job that pays enough to support my regular bills, charity, some simple wants, and eventually some bigger wants: travel, my dream home, an electric guitar, maybe a new bike, etc.  Any other “work” beyond that I would like to be volunteer or extraneous and very flexible.

And what about the details of this job? This is what I envision for right now.

  • 8AM to 4PM would be the ideal hours.
  • Distance within 30 minutes.
  • I would like the job to be physical in some respect; I need to be moving around.  If I’m actually physically using my body for some of the work, so much the better (as long as I am not stressing and injuring myself).
  • I would like to be a part of brainstorming.  I am an ideas person and a problem-solver, and I like to have my ideas considered and to be useful.
  • I would ideally like the Arts to somehow be a part of my job: writing, art, dance, theater, speaking — or all of the above!
  • And the more variety in my job, the better.  I love being the utility player; I love being the renaissance woman.

Finally — and perhaps most importantly — my work needs to have meaning.  It needs to serve a higher purpose, help the greater good.  I want to help raise the vibration of the world, not just of my own.

My metaphysics teacher suggested I draw my actual future job scene.  I haven’t gotten past that artist’s block yet, but very soon!

More blogs to follow this week.  I’ve deemed tonight as my blogging night. 🙂



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