Posts tagged ‘friends’

Fun Friday: Story Time — Once Upon a Tough Day

Image courtesy of audfriday13 /

Image courtesy of audfriday13 /

Once there was a woman who started the day with good intentions.  Unmotivated as she was to get out of bed and face the world, she completed her exercises, including meditation, and then felt ready to face the world. Her focus word of the day was “courage”.  She gave thanks for good traffic and a successful start to her day.  In the car she munched on cashews and mused over her odd dreams, which didn’t seem to tie into her previous focus word (“love”).   When she arrived at work, she realized she didn’t have her lunch.  She looked all over her messy car (from living on the go), but didn’t see it.   She gave thanks for the cashews and the two dollars she had in her purse.

When she got in to work she focused on her word (courage).  She’d had some frustrations with work the day before and was determined to be as productive as possible today to give everything her best effort.  She whispered “Courage!” over and over as she dug into her work.

But she became tired and frustrated, and she began to lose courage, trading it in for despair.  She had some moments of courage for the day: some phonecalls that she hadn’t wanted to make and was glad she had.  (She hoped she’d dream about those experiences.)  But the overarching feeling was despair, and though she was proud of her work that day, she was too frustrated to take much pleasure in it.

She carried this despair with her to her house and threw it at her fiancee, who did his best to dodge it, staying out of its path.  The woman didn’t want to carry it any more herself, and she tried to drown it in snickers frozen custard.

The woman had a party to go to, and though she felt she needed some space, she knew she needed to be around people, too.  At first at the party she felt awkward, not as warm as she normally was, and she was sad about this.  But as time passed, without her even noticing, her despair slipped away, until it was completely gone.  She played and talked with a little girl there, dressed as a princess, with an active imagination and a goofy sense of humor.  She had scrumptious food — rice, guacamole, chiles rellenos, and more..  She practiced her Spanish.  She met lovely new people and heard many interesting things: stories from Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Panama; natural health tips and concoctions; what shopping in open markets is like; and different odd foods that people like to eat (like crickets and pig’s feet).   She left the party, hugging and kissing new friends and old and hoping to repeat the evening some day soon.

Pulling into the garage, her day was not over.  Her neighbor was sitting out, relaxing in his mancave garage, having a Zen moment.  He’d had a challenging but very successful day and was grateful for his new job, that things were coming together.  The woman was inspired by this and by some words of encouragement he gave her toward her own life.

Sitting on the couch and looking back over the day, she saw that she had indeed needed “courage” to make it through that day. But what had really saved her in the end was “love.”

Gotta Have Faith

"Smiling Friends With Circle Shape" courtesy of stockimages/

“Smiling Friends With Circle Shape” courtesy of stockimages/

This past week has been a struggle for me.  First off, I set my heart completely on something, and I couldn’t understand why the universe hadn’t given it to me yet.  I knew I really wanted it (for once), I told my friends about it, I asked my family to visualize it for me, I was trying to visualize it myself (which is hard for me), and I got a clear “66” signal for it.  So, what did I do wrong?   Why were others receiving, while I was still getting nothing?

I feel like I don’t understand how the universe works.  I thought if I put all the right circumstances into place that I would get exactly what I wanted.  I thought that my wishy-washiness was all that was holding me back.  But now I don’t know what to think.  Am I over-thinking?  See, now I’m over-thinking about my over-thinking.

Also, I felt an attack to my ego last week.  I understand that I need to work on my ego, but I thought the criticism/comments came from a place of misunderstanding, and I wondered if I should have spoken up.  Did I need to defend myself?   Instead I chose to retreat into a place of bitterness and frustration, fighting to sort out what was ego, and what was truth.  I may receive some clarity in class tonight.

I ended last week in a swirling haze of anger, transitioning into work-related worry; then, I began this week with a fresh bout of depression.  I knew logically that none of these things were good.  Worry is negative visualization.  Anger is a near opposite of love.  Depression is. . .  well. . . depression.  (Dwelling on the past in a negative way, I suppose.)  I knew logically that I needed a change, I knew that I had a soul, that I was a being of light.  I knew it from my lessons. But that’s the thing about depression.  Something in me just didn’t care.

So, the reason I’m writing this at all is that something changed.   Being with people yesterday turned me around.  Maybe the interactions forced my brain to focus on something else.  Or maybe my life felt like it had some direction and purpose again.  Probably both.  But I’m grateful to those who changed my life for the better: my ACT tutoring students, the older gentleman who flirted with me at the coffee shop, the friendly lady who gave me a wide smile at the intake interview, the new friend who promised a fun surprise for today, my ex-fellow teachers who shared my home and their love for children, and my sweetheart, who said he felt blessed to spend his life with a beautiful soul.

I know life is full of lessons, and I forgive myself for laboring with some of them.  There is positive in every experience.  I’ve just gotta have faith.

It’s a Grand, Connected World

"Network Concept" courtesy of suphakit73/

“Network Concept” courtesy of suphakit73/

I love connecting with people in other parts of the world:  Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, India, New Zealand, Germany, Indonesia, Mexico, Malaysia, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Singapore, Armenia, South Africa, Ireland, the Republic of Korea, Switzerland, Brazil, Thailand, Hong Kong, Israel, Italy, the Bahamas, France, Moldova, Belgium, Sweden, Denmark, Austria, Taiwan, Zimbabwe, Croatia, Russia, Puerto Rico, Spain, Japan, Portugal, Venezuela, the United Arab Emirates, and other parts of the United States (according to my site stats).  And that’s not including people that I’ve visited!

On-line dating introduced me to a special guy I might never have met, and blogging has introduced me to friends and sympathizers who I never knew existed.  There are people struggling with what I’ve struggled with.  There are people who are at that point that I hope to reach.  And we’re all walking together along our journeys.  Not only do these people share in my journey; they’ve let me see a piece of their world.  This restless girl has found her means to travel the world in her own way.  The world is huge, but now it seems connected.

I know technology is pushing us farther apart from each other.  It’s allowing people like me who are shy and introverted to hide behind our computers probably more than we should.  But it’s also connecting us with people who are like us.  Who understand, who believe the same things.  Who laugh at the same things and break their hearts over the same things.   These are people who seek what we seek, who have similar goals, similar dreams.  I know I am unique, but now I feel a little less like an oddball.

This is the way.  Now that I’ve gotten a taste of it, I can’t imagine going back.


I’ve missed quite a few days, so I have plenty to be grateful for! (List ensuing. . .)

I am grateful . . .

  • that I have only seen a few solo carpenter ants in the house, and not multitudes of them.
  • that I have the musical as something of consistency in my life right now.
  • that eventually, if I scrub hard enough, the disgusting old-dishes-smell leaves my hands.
  • for visits with old friends, who are actually going through similar issues, even though their lives have taken quite a different turn from yours.
  • for my first media opportunity (at a local media station)!
  • for long drives into Chicago that remind me that I DO NOT want to make lots of long drives into Chicago. . .
  • for people who respond to my inquiries.
  • for a leaky ceiling that has stopped leaking.
  • for a messed up toilet that Brian was able to fix. . .
  • for a dripping air conditioner that is not flooding the floor (yet :-/).
  • for my new 15-minute time block plan, which seems to be going better than the old 30-minute one (mindless housecleaning –> computer work; i.e. e-mail, other media, or blog –> working on the office –> REPEAT).
  • for getting some time alone to get some work done.
  • for having company when Brian gets home. 🙂

. . . and that’s all for now!  15 minutes is up. . .



Today I am grateful for. . .

  • remembering some basic guitar (just like getting back on a bike!) and having a great lesson with my Dad
  • having self-control and not overeating at Easter (maybe only slightly this time)
  • a nice little nap after an Easter meal
  •  lying on the couch, meditating on a perfect view of a vibrant yellow green tree, peeking through the window
  • time with family
  • awkward questions about my religious status that keep me on my toes
  • great food!
  • friends who are looking out for me during my time of change
  • new friends and old friends and GAMES!  (I LOVE games.)
  • Easter chocolate. . .
  • a great boyfriend
  • hope
  • crazy dreams about tornadoes and houses (yes, again!) that remind me to look inward and keep onward — change is coming!
  • gorgeous weather
  • doing weights for the first time in weeks and not losing a lot of ground!
  • yoga tonight (need it badly!)
  • monthly conversations and spiritual discussions with my favorite uncle
  • music — itunes has changed my world and taken me back down memory lane oh, so many times.
  • plans for getting some great fresh air and sunshine with some good people at one of the most beautiful parks in Illinois — Starved Rock

Have a wonderful day, everyone.

Image: siraphat /

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