Posts tagged ‘food’

Summary Saturday/Sunday: It’s the Weekend! — End of an Era, Cleanliness, What Do I Eat?, Where Do I Go from Here?, Control Freak?, and Why I Received This

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s the Weekend! — End of an Era

I’ve sometimes wondered if anyone gets annoyed when radio stations announcers get excited about the “weekend”?  It makes me wonder who the listeners are for that station.  What about the waiter/waitresses, retail workers, computer programers, bank tellers, car dealers, customer service representatives, etc who don’t have a “weekend”?  As a weekend worker myself, I was at least amused.  And next week marks the reclamation of my first “weekend” day back.  I used to have 3 consistent tutoring students on Sundays.  One ended for the summer, one switched to Monday nights, and my writing/clarinet student of 2 years had his last lesson with me today.  (The student’s parents seemed sadder to see me go, but I know he’s feeling it somewhere inside, too!)  I am ecstatic to have the time back.  If you ever start feeling bored, just fill up your schedule ridiculously much and then slowly start taking things away —  like the farmer who complains he can’t sleep, then proceeds to add animal-after-animal to his house upon the advice of a wise man, and finally can sleep after he takes all of the animals away again.  The power of perspective and attitude is amazing.

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Cleanliness

I am coming to realize my guests will likely never see a perfectly clean house again.  The carpet is worn, I haven’t dusted, I couldn’t catch all of the cat fur, I could have scrubbed harder, and I may have missed some spots around  and in the furniture.  But every little bit helps, and most of the rooms are pretty clutter-free, the countertops are clean, the dishes are done, the area is vaccumed, and I gave the kitchen sink and floor a good scrub.  Even though it isn’t perfect, it feels that much more pleasant to be home.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Do I Eat?

Today I had to laugh at myself because I realized I’m still a child in some ways.  (Actually, many ways, but let’s focus on one thing at a time. . .)  People — like my parents — have said that the cure to a picky eater is simple: They choose to eat what you give them, or eventually they’ll get hungry and will eat what’s available.  Today I felt into one of those “There’s nothing to eat!” episodes, staring despondently at the emptying freezer and fridge.  Translation: There’s nothing snack-y or ready made for me to eat.  Thankfully reasoning kicked in, and I took a deeper look at what was available.  I finished the leftover soup Then, I pulled out the leftover broccoli stems (I’d used the heads for salad), cut off the questionable parts, and chopped the rest into chips that I doused in olive oil and set to bake in the oven.  Then I rescued some strawberries, cutting of the squishy and moldy parts and getting that satisfying snack I was craving.  Satisfied my hunger and cleaned out more of the fridge.  Bonus!  . . .  And just now Brian came home with some leftover strawberry cheesecake ice cream cake — Holy cow, it must be Christmas! 🙂

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where Do I Go From Here?

Sometimes it’s good to take that look back on your life and try to find the thread that ties all of the pieces together, so you can see your growth and not beat yourself up over your “failure”s.  Fore example, I like to beat myself up over studying education.  I often ruminate over that talk with my college counselor, when she called me into her office, and I confided that I had little idea of what I wanted to do with my life “but I’d thought about maybe teaching.”  I later berated myself for my indecision, for going along with what I thought I was “supposed to do” and not going for what I wanted to do.  “Look at me now!” I’d say.  “I’m working in a warehouse!”  “Where did that education  actually get me?”  But as I turn around and take a panoramic view of my situation, I begin to see some things.

First of all, where did that idea for teaching come from?  It was not a strong urge, but the notion came from somewhere.  I’d remembered playing teacher as a child.  I knew I loved to learn.  Maybe classroom teaching didn’t turn out to be the love of my life, but there was something that about teaching that had gotten my attention, and I believe it was my intuition.  I knew I had an urge to learn, and I knew I had an urge to teach.  I was on the right track.

Second, I have been blessed because of teaching.  If it weren’t for teaching, I likely wouldn’t have the house I have now.  Thus, I’m not sure if I would have met Brian.  I wouldn’t have met my wonderful colleagues, who I try to keep in touch with.  I wouldn’t have had the beautiful memories I’ve had of past students and fun experiences.

Third, I’ve learned some useful skill from teaching.  I’ve improved my communication skills, I’ve felt more comfortable giving lectures and presenting material.   I’ve learned how to problem-solve.  I’ve come to recognize and appreciate my patience, and I kept up my Spanish.

Finally — I am still teaching. When I quit teaching I stopped calling myself a “teacher.”  I my eyes, I was done.  But I’m really still teaching all of the time.  I’ve changed paths, but it’s the same road.  I tutor, I teach metaphysics classes, I’m considering starting preschool enrichment classes, and I teach whoever wishes to hear — whether it be through this blog, through social interactions, through Facebook, or through my example.  I am a teacher.  I was meant to be a teacher, and I knew it, though I didn’t know it.  The soul knows what it wants.

And, so, I’ve decided I need to shut up for a while.  Because I know.  Even as I cry out for clarification, afraid that I will be lost forever, my soul knows.  It’s just waiting me to be quiet for a moment and stay still enough to listen.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Control Freak?

I’ve been thinking a lot more about my most recent intuitive report, the Past Life Crossing.  I just shared it at a SIR (Society for Intuitive Research) meeting that focused on past life crossings.  I haven’t delved into this report as much as I have for my other intuitive reports — my Past Life and Health Analysis.  This particular report — the crossing — hadn’t resonated with me as much, and as it was a report I shared with Brian — who wasn’t sure how much he was into it, I didn’t put my full attention into it. However, I’ve begun noticing a few things.

First, that in that past life I’d been a caretaker of children.  I didn’t think that was a big deal, except that I’ve likely had many, many lifetimes doing many different things, and in this one I happened to be working with children.  Was that a message for me, a person considering working as a nanny or trying out preschool?

Also, the report drew my attention to my desire to “throw down anchors.”  I am frequently attempting to stabilize by trying to control my environment.  My report advised that this wasn’t useful, especially as it related to other people.  I can find centeredness — “control” — by aligning within myself.  Be still and find peace within, and the without will match.

I’ve been noticing more lately the judgements that surface in my thoughts and the frustrations I experience when people don’t act or respond in a certain way.  From an objective standpoint I can see how ridiculous this is — I cannot control other people!  I will find happiness by aligning with my own goals and purposes.  Beyond that I must keep the conduit of my heart open at all times, sharing love with all, attracting those who want to receive what I have to offer, and sharing of what I have to give.

I’m interested to see how I work through this lesson in the couple of weeks. . .

Image courtesy of nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why I Received This

I had an epiphany Friday morning when I was outside doing my exercises.  I was thinking about karma and situations the universe sends to me/I’ve sent to myself.  I was thinking about how one of the doctors of the school told my teacher that if someone was self-critical it meant that they needed that criticism.  I didn’t understand.  I thought I did.  I feared karma, and I struggled with the brutality of my inner thoughts.  Then Friday morning something clicked.  It’s all about love.  Why are we here?  We are here with a soul purpose.  And in each lifetime we seek to advance to be that much closer to enlightenment than we were before.  We are hear to learn and to grow.  Experiencing the same repeating, awkward, and uncomfortable situation is not punishment.  Recognizing areas of weakness is not meant to be for belittlement and derision.  It all comes from love.  Because someone who really loves someone hopes for — desires — the best for that entity.  And the best a person can do is continually change, continually grow.  To live and learn and benefit from every life experience.

So, that same lesson is not coming back again because my soul yearns for it, and the universe is on board.  I am recognizing areas for change because my soul sees an ideal and what’s me to be aware of what I need to be to reach it.  So, I will receive each loving gift.  Even if I do not at first appreciate its value, I will not return it.

I Am Not My Physical Body

Image courtesy of samarttiw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of samarttiw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday I really struggled with that one, that I’m not my body. I was limited in my food options for the day, and I realized how much I really depend on my chocolate, mixed nuts, and Shaklee smoothie to get me through the day. I struggled with anger, frustration, and then low energy, as I dealt with the change. I knew I could choose to be positive; I knew that thought is cause, and that I control my destiny. However, yesterday I felt like I just didn’t care. I felt like I just gave up. Yesterday instead of using my will power to still my mind and observe and change my thoughts, I used it to survive the day.

So, I got really hard on myself, feeling like I’d failed. And to that I added depression, dwelling on some unpleasantness at work and some general life struggles. I didn’t even realize I was attacking myself again. Then, last night my teacher said: “Do you think you haven’t changed?” I realized I thought I hadn’t. I still imagined myself to be where I was when I started class; I saw myself as stagnant. And I realized I knew that wasn’t actually true, or at least I believed it wasn’t true.

So then I took stock: I can meditate, sometimes for a half hour! My self-confidence is improving. I am beginning to believe that I am abundant and able. I am more open. I’m much more friendly with others. My mind is sometimes stilled (sometimes!). I no longer blame the universe when things don’t go “perfectly” for me; I look to the lesson behind the situation. I am remembering my dreams almost daily, and I’ve started analyzing them more and responding to them. I’m sure there’s more, but the point is: I have changed. I am exactly where I need to be.

I don’t think my self-image is going to improve overnight. (Though, yes, it’s possible!) I feel it’s going to take baby-steps:

1. Noticing my thoughts. Making small changes.

2. Finding things to celebrate each day.

3. Being grateful for the lessons learned each day.

A great start. 🙂

lasreveR yaD-5

Image courtesy of digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net"

Image courtesy of digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The 5-Day Reversal is one of my daily metaphysics exercises, and I’m in a typing mood, so I’m doing it on here again.  Here we go:

Today

5. Half-watching Done the Impossible — anecdotes about Firefly from fans — and Healthy Shopping a useful food shopping “How to” from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. (And then proceeded to have half a pint of Culver’s ice cream. . .)

4. E-mail swap with a good friend.

3. Finally got my future-hippie-hair trimmed (basically just added some layers).

2. ACT tutoring (tying in metaphysics to self-motivation)

1. Lovely walk in the rare pleasant winter weather.

Friday

5. Printed out all of  the pictures for my inspirational collage.

4. Leaving the house: Culver’s pints fun, failed glassware purchase attempt (later rectified), and lovely Olive Garden linner/dunch.

3. House Cleaning!  Kitchen looks presentable, laundry mountain is diminished

2. Yummy pumpkin pancakes and spicy egg breakfast!

1. Ordered Rent Tickets! “There is not future. . .  there is no past. . .”

Thursday

5. Reading Power vs. Force

4. Dessert with the Fam.

3. Thanksgiving with the Fam.

2. Meditation and Candle Activity

1. Morning Fun!

Wednesday

5. Metaphysics Class

4. Dream Webinar

3. Finishing up some metaphysics exercises

2. Chatting with Golbahar about the future

1.Thanksgiving Potluck

Tuesday

5. Convinced to continue with improv through an eloquent speech by a fellow-improver

4. Received one of my favorite-ist compliments.

3. Had a lovely last class for Improv Level 1

2. Finished work early and got to have a pleasant sit down meal with Brian (No munching on the run!)

1. Warehouse work and metaphysical exercises.

I want to eat, eat, eat – EVERYTHING and ANYTHING!

"Hippopotamus" courtesy of RTP411 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Hippopotamus” courtesy of RTP411 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net(This is me when I’m hungry!  Nam nam nam!)

 

I have a burning fire within me and it’s called a rumbling tummy.

Almost 3 months without meat and the refrigerator is nearly empty.

 

My body is not happy. —

And I’m dreaming about it, too!

 

Trying to be healthy, watching what I eat.

Meat is not an option, avoiding most treats.

 

Dark, dark chocolate was my fall-back,

But my body is rejecting it . . .

 

How can I feed my sweet tooth. . .

Can I learn to love fruit?

 

Hardly time to eat between things.

Need pre-planned and pre-packed meals.

 

But the fridge is just as empty

as the kitchen sink is full.

 

Can’t pack lunch and dinner —

(No containers and no food!)

 

Need a free genie chef

To make scrumptious vegetarian dishes.

 

Anyone want to volunteer?
Or can I borrow yours?

Turn Around. . .

"Blue Sky with Clouds and Sun" courtesy of gameanna/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Blue Sky with Clouds and Sun” courtesy of gameanna/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I want to blog.  I itch to blog.  But now that I’m sitting down, giving myself time to write but I kinda feel like I’ve forgotten how.  I’d like to write about what I’m grateful for today, since my last post was such a downer. (Not even going to link to it.)  😛

Today I’m grateful for those times when I am without, because it reminds me of how much I appreciate what I have, when I have it.

  • My iPod**

I  thought I’d lost my iPod today, when really it was just another case of the Reverse Mary Poppins Purse.  The past life of my iPod — and the horrific possible future-life of my iPod, if somebody found it and looked/listened through it – flashed before my eyes today.  I was able to reconcile myself to the possibility of having lost it, and then I wisely tore my purse apart (not literally — though I am sometimes tempted).

  • Karaoke.

I’m usually at karaoke right now.  I sacrificed my karaoke night because of a change in tutoring schedule and a need to catch up on planning.   I already miss it. :-/  But it makes me grateful for when I do have it.

  • Water.

I don’t drink as much water as I should, but the moment I know I don’t have access to water, I panic.  Especially if I’m in the car.  For some reason I get mad thirsty when I’m in the car.

  • Food.

Hey, I mean, it follows!  These days I am always hungry, so I am grateful for every morsel that crosses my lips.

  • Exercise.

I’ve recently discovered that daily exercise is a lifesaver for me.  It’s a pick-me-up that can really make or break my day.  Lately it’s been Zumba.  One morning I woke to the Zumba Xbox game music circulating through my brain, and my body started itching to dance!

  • A good romantic movie.

I don’t get too many of those these days.  I don’t watch them because Brian doesn’t like them, and I know that if he felt obligated to sit through one of my romantic movies, then I would be obligated to sit through one of his blow-people-up or zombie/alien/ghoul apocalypse, etc movies. And, no thank you.  But sometimes I can get away with one on Valentine’s.  Or my birthday.  Or I can watch it alone. . . and cuddle with a cat or Bowser.  (Brian, I hope you’re reading this and that you suddenly feel inspired to watch a little something/something. . .)

  • The sun.

Ah, how I miss daylight! I miss my sun! Daylight savings time, when art thou??  It’s been pretty rainy/snowy lately, so I am ecstatic when the sun breaks through the clouds every so often.

  • My other.

Yes, everyone needs their alone time and some peace and quiet – and sometimes I even want to kick Brian out of the house for a while!  But when he’s not around, I miss him.

  • This blog.

I recently stopped my masochistic internal berating rant at myself for not being a “good writer” and writing every day.  So, now that I haven’t been, I miss it.  I don’t honestly even know what I’m supposed to be doing or want to be doing with writing anymore, but I know that I’m unhappy when I don’t do it for a while.

  • Free time.

I love it, even if it’s borrowed, like right now.  I love, love, love my free time.  The best part of my day today was sitting on the library bench, doing nothing, just waiting a few minutes before seeing my next tutoring student.  Sometimes you just gotta slow down for a while.

 

**(And I just looked up the spelling of “i” –type Apple products today with one of my tutoring students because he was using it for his paper that compared an iPhone and Galaxy XS – or something like that — phone.  I was going to check the spelling on my iPod.  And that’s when I realized I couldn’t find it.  And that’s all I could think about for the next 5 minutes – in the middle of a tutoring session.  So, while trying to work with a student, all I could think about what wanting to turn my jacket and purse inside out and then transporting magically to the school I just came from so I could turn the whole fricken’ building inside out.  And this is the longest parenthesis ever.  That’s why I starred it.  And then put it at the end of this blog.)

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