One of the DreamBuilder lessons focuses on fear. It suggests doing one thing each day that you fear. I don’t know about you, but when I look at my “to accomplish” list, a lot of the ones that have been on there for a while are still there because of fear. I just had a great conversation with a Shaklee Master Coordinator, and the last thing he mentioned was how great leaders are the ones who learned to master their fears.
So, who of you is ready to become a great leader? I am! Some fears I faced this past week: calling a chamber group about speaking, contacting a connection’s connection about speaking, strategizing for a new program idea, blogging out of town, strategy sessions, a dream/vision session, and giving my first Table Topics speech. What are you willing to face today? Start with one! Much love, many blessings! 💖
“I’m alive, and I’m healthy; I’m alive, and I’m healthy; I’m alive and I’m healthy; I’m alive . . .”
That was my mantra a few hours ago. I feel I’m being tested, and I’m afraid I’m failing. What I need is a little faith and hope, and sometimes I have it, but most times I’m just scared. These past years I’ve changed, little-by-little, and this past year I’ve really left my comfort zone. I recently told someone about my changing situation, and she responded: “What an adventure!” I was a bit stunned, but then I thought about it.
Yes, indeed! Adventure! Aren’t I an adventurous person? Don’t I crave new experiences? So, shouldn’t I be excited? I could be excited. I know the choice is mine. I can wallow in self-pity and fear, imaging the world is going to come crashing down on me. Or I can have faith that the universe has something wonderful in store for me. Maybe not this year, but then again, maybe this year! Why not?
If I begin to fear and despair I will remember this: I’m alive. I’m healthy. I have food to eat. I have water to drink. Clothes on my back. A shelter over my head. Healthy friends and family. People who love me. In this moment, all is well. And in this moment. And in this moment. And this moment. . . .
I miss spring break. And my week of happiness. I really do. I had thought it didn’t feel different. I thought this week went by quickly. And it did. I was surprised by how quickly this week actually went by. But the stress has been crazy. My face was almost completely clear last week, and this week it is destroyed. Make-up free? Not a chance now. Sunday evening and Monday morning I was overwhelmed with the mounting anticipation of the week, exhibited through stomach-clenching stress and undulating tremors of fear.
As usual I had worked myself up way more than was necessary, but I couldn’t believe what a difference I’d experienced between last week’s in-the-moment week and the never-ending constant stress and fear of this week. Am I exaggerating? Yes. But there was a noticeable difference.
I did have some great moments this week that helped me appreciate teaching. An activity that went well. A bond made with a student. A compliment from another. For a while I questioned why I wanted to leave teaching. And then the weekend hit, and I became obsessed with worry about grading and planning, and that’s when I remembered a big part of why I didn’t want to be a teacher anymore.
I’m scared now. I don’t know what’s going to happen with me. With my life. I thought about music therapy. Now I’m considering dance/movement therapy, and I’m still interested in different types of healing. But my doubts plague me. I know I could be excited about all of this. I should be excited. The last thing I need is to be attracting more fear in my life! But even when I can shut off my own protective, critical voice, I hear concern in the voices of others. Why would I consider leaving a job when I’m not sure of its replacement? Isn’t this a bad economy? Don’t I need money? Education costs money! How will you get by?
Everything will be fine. I know it will. I will not join the panhandlers near the highway (although I’ve imagined discussing it with them). I will not starve. I will find a way. I know that I should appreciate what I have. I also know that I can’t settle for what I have. I have settled for years, trying to reason and work through the unpleasantness until the unhappiness consumed and corrupted every piece of me. I will not fall into that trap again. Nor do I want to leap from the flame to the blade. I will be happy. It’s time to move on. But where? And how?