Posts tagged ‘drama’

Metaphysics Monday: Rollercoaster Emotions

Image courtesy of markuso /

Image courtesy of markuso /

Lately our metaphysics teacher has been surprising us with her responses to our experiences during the week.  Feeling upset?  Great!  Resistant?  Fantastic!  Struggling with your exercises?  Good!  I imagine she will same something similar about the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on this past week.  I think her point was that sometimes we experience things in extremes to get a sense of  the extremes of duality, which helps guide us toward our center.  Also, the stirred up emotional turmoil signals a change is coming on, and the School of Metaphysics is all about change and growth.

I’m struggling with self-empowerment today.  That is my current focus, and I still find myself seeking answers from others, not trusting myself.  I want to know that everything will be alright.  I don’t want to make a mistake.  And I want to be positive.  I really do.  This morning I even told myself “T L C!”  (Thinking positively, Love, and Concentration.)  I started off the day energetic and determined to do my best.  And yet by the end of the work day my shoulders were sloped, and I was angry, frustrated, and depressed.  My ego had pulled the gray cloud the rest of the way around me, and I felt like this “positive-thinking” person was just me  pretending to be somebody I was not.  I called Brian, and voiced what I believed.  “I am a negative thinker.  I don’t trust myself.  I will never find a job that makes me happy.”  “Fake it ’til you make it” just sounded completely ridiculous right then.   Then I had a tutoring session with a student that had moved from Sundays to Monday nights, and driving home after the session I stopped for a moment, checked in with myself, and realized I was now in a happy state, peaceful even.  I had a glimmer of hope again.

I do not know what the exact answer is to what I’m looking for.  But something inside tells me that I need completion with this, and I need it something fierce.   This is my chance to believe in myself, to make a clear decision and run with it.  And if it doesn’t work, run with something else.  I still feel I need a little more information, a little more faith, and then I’m going to leap — and fly.

Your Speck! Your Log!: A Lesson In “You Know It’s About You, Right?”

Image courtesy of Ambro /

Image courtesy of Ambro /

I think the words that hurt the most — when they are said with honesty and positive intention — are the ones that help us grow the most.

Years ago I had a friend tell me straight out: “Teri, you’re a bad listener.”  I never forgot it.  And I now check-in during every conversation to see if I’m being a good listener or not.  Was I offended by the comment?  Absolutely!  But, I immediately recognized her words as truth and took them in, painful as they were.

These days I am paying more attention to the words: “You know it’s about you, right?” I was venting to the director from the School of Metaphysics about an unpleasant incident I’d had experienced with a friend.  I was attacking the other person, talking about what she was doing to me.  At some point in the conversation the director said those words: “You know it’s about you, right?” and even though my ego immediately reared its head, my heart also opened up, and my perspective shifted.  It was about me. No one has any control of anyone else.  We are the creators of our own reality.  I realized the person I was really mad at was myself.  I had seen myself as weak — and rather than seeking self-empowerment — I’d blamed the other person for her strength.

I’m trying to take this lesson and apply it to my self-righteous judgment and tendency toward drama.  In the last few days I’ve recognized some important things:

  1. If I’m expecting drama, I will find it.  If I’m not, I usually won’t.
  2. If I’m judging someone else’s judgement, that makes me just as judgmental.
  3. When it comes down to it, we really all want similar things, and we just have different opinions on the best way to get them.  And that’s ok, as long as we can respect each other.  We’re all doing the best we can.
  4. I am still afraid to be myself, but I’m getting a little closer every day.

So, every time I notice a judgement slip through my mind, about myself or others, I’m taking a closer look.  What’s really hidden behind the judgement? (What are my thoughts really telling me?)  Where do I have more room for growth?

Mouth of a Gift Horse: Problems and Solutions of Awkward Gift Exchanges

“Blue Gift” by David Castillo Dominici] /

Gift exchanges can be an awkard thing for me.  I, like many women, am a bit of a puzzle because — unfortunately — I don’t always mean what I say.  This means that I do enjoy getting gifts, even though I tell people not to get me any.  And though I can feel gift-giving is a commercialized waste of time and resources, I do sometimes feel a sense of joy when I know someone has felt extra special receiving that great gift.Besides my mixed-signals on gift-giving and receiving, I’m also a fairly particular woman who is nearly impossible to shop for.  That can make things fairly awkward around birthday and holiday time.  However, every problem has a solution.  So, here are the ways I can best think of that could help me alleviate my gift-giving drama:

Problem #1: I don’t like waste.  The pretty trappings look great, but all I can think about is how they will soon be lining another landfill.

Solution: Bags are a nice compromise.  If get something in a bag, I WILL reuse it AND the tissue paper, if they are both in good condition.  Newspaper is also a great option.  You may think it looks tacky, but I love that it’s recyclable.

Problem #2: I don’t like to plan.  I enjoy many things, but trying to read people’s minds or remember that hint someone dropped me half a year ago, is not one of those things that I enjoy.  If by some miracle, I DO happen to remember something, I am ecstatic because I know I will not be wasting my time or the giftee’s because they will have exactly what they want.

Solution: Tell me exactly what you want.  Give me a list, if that makes the gift a better surprise for you.  I’m also super-fond of money and checks, which give the person an excuse to spend some money on something that is exactly what was wanted, but maybe not budgeted for.  This is also a great option for people who have their heart set on huge/expensive purchases.  You don’t want to pay for a cruise?  Of course not!  But, maybe I can go in a year when I compile my gifts!  As an example, Brian has asked for gift cards for his birthday and Christmas (which happen to be nearly back-to-back) so that he could purchase his latest technological desire.  Also, I recently used my birthday gifts to purchase the mini-netbook that I’d put off buying for years.

My godfather and I have gone one better: we set a price limit for the two of us, purchase our own gifts, and then let the other person know what “they” got for us.  We absolutely love this.  Yes, we may be a bit wacko, but what can I say?

Problem #3: What if you’re not a money/check kind of person but also can’t stand exchanging gifts that can’t or won’t be used? I used to be a fairly flexible, easy-going gift receivee; however,  I have become more of a healthy, environmentally-and-socially-conscious hippy with each passing day.  This means that the average store doesn’t have products that I would use, and I’m likely boycotting the place for some reason or other, anyway.

Solution: Compromise and share your beliefs about products.  If you’re not stuck on a particular store, I may be able to find similar products on “Made in America” sites.  If you’re looking for some pampering, how about some natural/organic pampering from companies like Shaklee?  What about getting something practical that anyone would use anyway, such as a gas card or a grocery store gift card?  You just might be helping someone pay the bills these days, or else that’s money that I’m not spending out of my pocket that I can now put toward that cruise or gadget I wanted!

Problem #4: There is nothing in particular the person wants and/or the person just isn’t in the holiday mood/or the person is broke and doesn’t want to exchange.

Solution: Don’t do the gift exchange. You can entirely opt out of gift-giving.  I have a friend who refuses to gift exchange, and I’m perfectly fine with that.  It has not affected our friendship whatsoever.  I have randomly gotten her a gift once or twice because I felt like it, but we avoid the holiday hassle.  I’ve also had friends come out and say “I’m broke, so don’t get me anything, and I’m not getting anyone anything.”  And again, that works out great.  If you still want to stay in the holiday spirit without the packaging,  other options are giving to charities, volunteering time, or taking your friends/family out. Why don’t you take yourselves out to dinner?  Or how about a movie?  Why not both?  Or stay in and make dinner together? My family has stopped exchanging on birthdays, and we either go out to a nice dinner, or stay in and do our home version of dinner and a movie.

Whatever our individual issues, the point is that holidays and gifts do not have to be the drama-filled experiences I fear them to be.  It is possible to  enjoy the experience of each holiday with a stress-free gift-(or non-gift!) exchange!

On Relaxation, Being “Drama-Free”, Learning About Life Energy, and Sleeeep

Vacation Day?

Today I am first grateful for not having any events planned.  I think this may be my first “real” vacation day.  However, I’m thinking this “vacation day” must be a frightening, impossible concept for me, because as I type this, I’m already trying to make plans to go to Starved Rock with some friends. . . sigh.  And it really won’t be a day off anyway —  I’m planning on using it to practice for the musical and clean up the office.  ::sigh; again::  But, there’s nothing like worry to bring a good day down, so getting these things out of the way will help immensely toward maintaining peace of mind.  Maybe I’ll even get some “don’t wanna’s” done today. . .


I am also grateful for a lack of drama in my life.  Stress?  Oh, yes.  But stress from drama?  Not really.  Yesterday I met with some friends, and I had a feeling gossip would be involved.  (It is practically inevitable with a big group of people.)  And though the information was definitely interesting — if not awkward and uncomfortable at times– I realized I could have done without it.  There are some things that I’m just happier not knowing.  So, I’m also grateful for minimal levels of drama stress in my life.

Job Stuff and Self-Exploration

And again, I am grateful for the Naperville Community Career Center.  I’ve been coming out of my shell a little bit and am networking with more people.  I’m also learning some really interesting things at their workshops.  Yesterday I went to a workshop by Cindy Dove (Purposed Lives) about “life energies” called Interviewing Your Inner Self.  She says that there are 3 Energies: “Aliveness,” “Truth,” and “Workability.”  We have all three, but we have a different hierarchy of how they are manifested in our lives.  According to Cindy (using her nifty-difty cheat sheet that she gave us), “Aliveness Energy” makes you “an innovator” with a “positive outlook” and a “zest for living.”  You are “enthusiastic,” “visible,” “spontaneous,” “compassionate,” “open,” “sharing,” and “vibrant.”  A person with “Truth Energy” is “a seeker” who is “analytical,” “sees the whole picture,” and is “introspective.”  She is “observant,” “sincere,” “attentive,” “understanding,” “knowing,” “quiet,” serious,” and “gentle.”  Finally, the person with “Workability Energy” is “a realist” who is “oriented to success,” “committed,” and “motivated by challenge.”  She is “focused,” “responsible,” “productive,” “steadfast,” “companionable,” “organized,” “competent,” and “reliable.”

For me, my strongest energy is “Truth Energy,” followed by “Aliveness,” and finally, “Workability.”  I have seen all three in my life, but “Truth Energy” is definitely the most natural.  We were split into three groups by what we thought were our most prominent energies, and it was really interesting to see and hear the differences between the groups.  The best parts of the session were: recognizing that there are other people who are like us, being able to understand why we are the way we are, and knowing that we are ok!


I am so grateful for sleep.  I looove sleep.  I love it so much that I may indulge in it for a bit after my morning breakfast smoothie settles.  I tell you, I matured fast when it came to sleep.  I am a huge fan of the nap, and I do not like to get less than my needed allotment of hours each night. (And that’s 8.5 hours for me!)  These days, with all the new activity happening around me, the analogy “hit by a truck” makes perfect sense to me as I drag myself out of bed each morning.

Have a wonderful day, everyone!  Be well.


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