The Power of Conscious Emotion
by Jorge Candelaria
Some people want to improve their lives, but they don’t want to do anything differently. They are addicted to their way of being. To improve one’s life and make the difference on the planet requires trying different ways of being. Sometimes it requires challenge and sacrifice, but sometimes it’s just about enjoying the journey.
It has been six years since I started my journey to know myself. I had no idea at that time where I was going to end up, and that allowed me the freedom to have new experiences and to be different, From my heart I knew that there had to be something more out there because nothing that I was doing was fulfilling me.
Some parts of the journey have felt like a struggle, and in other parts I am reaping the fruit of my efforts. The first step in my journey was exploring discipline, and I experienced how powerful it was. I learned the influence of discipline on my feelings and emotions, and I started to understand my environment at a deeper level. I also became aware of other people’s behavior around me and the influence of our thoughts and our choices on each other and each other’s behavior.
I fell in love with discipline, meditation, and spiritual exercises, that allows me to be in the present moment and get me closer and closer to have a quiet mind. I started practicing self-observation and objectivity with my thought; this process allowed me to discover all the baggage that I needed to change or get rid of. At some points I was face-to-face with anger, self-pity, and sorrow. Sometimes I reacted, blamed, and complained, blending all of those emotions. In those moments I realized the effect of discipline and commitment in the process of spiritual development, in being able to see how I was actually creating my reality. I also observed past patterns of thinking, including coping mechanisms I used to hide myself in, using unproductive habits like overworking or excessive internet use when things got tough. Then instead I started developing ways that I could be in those challenging emotions, experiencing them. I observed myself in the present moment, observed how I was creating the experience. I could then see if the feeling was habitual, an addictive behavior that was that an unconscious reaction to the experience. In that process, I learned that I had so many wounds that I needed to heal, like blaming other for triggering a negative emotion. I realized it was something that I learned at home when I was little. Through this process I began to discover and trace how I developed my personality, and how I became who I am.
I also started to observe the usefulness of discipline to consciously create in my life. This is something that I have always enjoyed. I see the benefits of discipline in creating a business and focusing on one direction without the hassle of the standard ways of marketing, just maintaining the positive and direct thoughts of serving and loving what I do.
The objectivity and mindfulness I have developed has helped me stay conscious in my work. The unconscious habit that I catch myself in is thinking that just working harder is going to help me to solve a problem in the business, in my life or in being ‘productive.’ I think I am going to fill some emptiness. In those moments I now stop and look for what I am avoiding, what problem or what emotion I need to face.
In the journey of breaking my addictive behavior, I have found that the most important thing is to experience a deeper understanding of love. I am looking to receive all new people in my life into my heart, to experience divine friendship. Also, just as importantly, I look to experience and practice self love.
Posts tagged ‘discipline’
Disclaimer: No cats were harmed in the making of this dream. . .
I’m super excited about this next week. Tomorrow is our Dreamcatchers Meetup, and it looks like there will be some new attendees, some awesome regulars, and Brian! ❤ ❤ <3!
Also, my next Metaphysics lesson for 2nd cycle is all about dreams, which I’m thrilled about. One of our exercises is based on connecting our conscious life to our dream life, and I can’t wait to start tomorrow. I put understanding and applying my dreams as one of my 10 Most Wanted, so it looks like it’s coming to fruition. 🙂 And this morning I was thinking about how frustrated I was that I couldn’t figure out a lot of my dreams. So, I’m happy to be giving them some extra attention.
Now for my dreams from this morning. I realize after sharing the “knight” dream that I don’t need to go all crazy trying to figure out my dreams. Even focusing on one important symbol from the dream can be helpful. We had the Dream Webinar today, and I asked what “knights” mean. I figured they would be something like “police”, which is the symbol for discipline, and the dream coaches agreed with me. She said to focus on how I’ve been feeling and perceiving discipline lately. That made perfect sense. I’ve been struggling and rebelling a bit with discipline these last few days. Cats in my dream symbolize habitual ways of thinking. Since I am afraid of them, they are habits that I find intimidating and wish to avoid (but I conquer some of them!) There are elements of death (not seen, but talked of ) in the other dreams, which means that I am thinking about change. Here we go. . .
Dream #1:A woman is sentenced to death. (At one point is me?) She ascends the stairs to the place where she will be killed. She is not surprised. Awaiting execution, she and a close female are not sure what to do in her last moments. I say something about touch, about being close to each other. They do touch (lie down next to each other? Cuddle?) And I join them. Tears are shed.
Dream #2: Black knights, like the ones from Monty Python. The kingish-type/lord? asks the man if they have all been killed. The man shows all of the knights impaled in a line before them. But then the real black knights are called forth to come kill the king.
Dream #3: Going down to the water place below. To kill the man leading them? There is something special about the water. Maybe it can be set afire because of what he put in it.
There are huge cats at the entry to some place (same place?) Tigers. I ask how you get past them. A man tells me to embrace them head on. I am afraid, but I do this. I find the cats do want me. We hug and cuddle together. A man comes to check on me. I say it worked, but show him that I have apparently only approached the medium-sized cats (like bobcat-size, but short-haired and pet-cat-ish). The tigers are nearby. He tells me that I can approach the tigers the same way.