Posts tagged ‘conscious’


What is the ego? What is my ego? I’m not entirely sure. I know that I am not the ego. I’ve been thinking about my past lives a lot. I’ve gotten two past life readings and one crossing, and my personality seems to be different in each lifetime. At least – my life paths are different. I wonder – how can all of those people from all those lives be the same person, be the same soul? So, I’d imagine that my ego changes. If I do not take my ego with me, my ego must be that difference. My ego changes from lifetime to lifetime. So, again, I am not the ego.

Then, everything that is not the I Am, everything that is not the soul is the ego. Anything that is left is the conscious mind and the ego. The conscious mind and the ego work together. So, anything that is related to my conscious level existence is related to the ego. My identity in this lifetime is connected to the ego, all of my forms of outer expression. All of the layers that I have added to myself. All of my conscious mind motivations are the ego. Much of the physical life is connected to the ego.

The ego is motivation. The ego requires direction. The stronger the will, the more one can work in harmony with the ego. As my teacher has explained, the ego can be like a well-trained pit bull — intimidating in its strength and size but always obedient to the master (the mind). A wayward ego is untrained, prone to drama and chaos. It runs with an undirected imagination and can either play it safe or run amuck, like a crazy puppy, leaving destruction and chaos in its wake.

How can I work with the ego? I train the ego to surrender.   I train the ego to release attachments. The ego must accept its mortality and internalize the concept of sacrifice. If I am to live for the good of all concerned, the ego must come with me (and stay just behind me).


Images courtesy of saphatthachat and Witthaya Phonsawat at



Wednesday: Dreams and Angels


I received this message yesterday: (looked it up on Joanne Sacred Scribes Angel Numbers site)

Angel Number 1414 is a message from the angels that your thoughts and feelings are being elevated to a more positive state.  Give any fears or concerns of any kind to the angels for healing and transmutation, and have faith and trust that you are being supported, encouraged and guided by the angels along your path.  You are safe and protected  –  always.

Angel Number 1414 is a reminder to maintain a positive attitude  mind-set and optimistic outlook to attract positive energies and auspicious circumstances into your life.  Practice positive affirmations and prayers to maintain a strong connection to the angelic and spiritual realms.  Be mindful of the Law of Attraction as the energy you send out comes back to you.

Angel Number 1414 is a message to be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it.  Stay positive, optimistic and practical to ensure that you manifest what you want, rather than what you don’t.  Building strong foundations from well-laid plans ensures future stability, progress and success.  Put your efforts and focus towards your long-term goals and aspirations and work with purpose, passion and drive.  Courageously step forward in the direction of your true life purpose  and trust that the things you require will manifest when needed in your life.

At each new phase in our lives we are somewhere we have never been before.  Have faith and trust that you have the skills, talents and abilities to face all that lay ahead of you.  You are where you are meant to be at this time.

We do best what we enjoy and feel passionate about.

That’s exactly what I needed to hear.


I was able to make sense of my dreams this morning!  The key really is to know what is going on with myself the day before.  If I KNOW the struggles and learnings I’m going through, if I’m aware — then my dreams make so much more sense!

Dreams and Interpretations:

Going up and down hills (snow or something on hills?)  Indoors?  Brian opts to take the route on the ground level.   I stay above.  Way is treacherous.  I’m creating unnecessary challenges for myself, and this relates to being stuck.

I’m looking at the cats and I see Misty!  I ask Brian why Misty is with us.  Something about trouble with Tigger maybe.  Old, familiar habit that doesn’t belong.  I’m giving it safe haven.  (Could be my return to a lack of attentiveness? Or the increased running of the mouth?)

Need to put on (music?)  My cousin is to help.  Is she doing a performance, maybe?  Lots of people around in unknown building.  (And my Aunt there?)  An assured, business-like aspect of myself desiring harmony.  I believe this is relating to my struggles with how to be the best teacher I can be.

Dancing on my parents’ balcony with Dad but a little awkward for some reason. Not an easy flow and not an ease with closeness, though it is pleasant and sweet!  Song unexplainedly stops, so I go back in to house and forget about dancing, though Dad wants to go on.  I am in a place hovering between conciousness and subconsciousness (balcony), and I am harmonizing with superconscious.  It is not as seamless as I would like, but it’s good!  I believe this related to my meditation yesterday, which was wonderful.  However, I cut it a little short, a few minutes short of the whole meditation, thinking I was complete.  I believe this dream is telling me I should have done at least the full 30 minutes.

Scene between woman and Hugh Grant.  I notice her roots are showing.  They are in bed.  Affectionate, but no hanky panky.  Imagination — imagined connection between conscious and subconscious, not complete or clear; and the thoughts have not been refreshed.  They need to be updated.  (Perhaps relating to my understanding of metaphysics and subconscious and conscious mind in general.)

Some comment to someone — between guy and girl of disinterest, not offended, just nonexistent. The need/desire for further connection between the conscious and subconscious minds.

Summary:  A lot of male/female here.  Subconscious presence and superconscious presence.  There are not complete connections, but attempts — making progress.  Follow the subconscious — take the way of lease resistance!  Stick with the superconscious today.  Keep your mind focused on your life’s plan, on the good of all concerned — and meditate for the full 30 minutes!  (Or more!)

Dreamy Wednesday: Learn About Yourself Through Your Dreams!

Please check out my latest article on 10 Things Your Dreams Can Tell You About Yourself.  It goes into detail about common dreams and dream symbols: what they mean, and how you can apply them to your life.

I had two different dream themes this morning — one realistic, one more imaginative.  One half of my dreams had to do with singing.  In one I’m at a concert but haven’t been attending any of the rehearsals and therefore don’t know some of the words and am pleasantly surprised when each song begins. (Oh!  Great song!)  Later, a teacher from the College of Metaphysics — who led the Cantata last year — is talking about solos that we’re going to do, and she asks me if I want to do one of them today.  I think that I can do it, but I’m not sure.

In the other dreams people’s clothes were different.  They reminded me of Robin Hoodish plain, peasanty garb.  In one there is a girl sneaking through the woods to get a glimpse of her father.  Someone who would seem to be her enemy senses movement in the woods and suspects it is her.  He sneaks up on her and covers her mouth so that she doesn’t scream.  He wants to help her.  In the other instance I am going somewhere; I’m on my way out.  I’ve promised my sister and someone that I would see them before I went.  I must walk down a LONG paved way to get to the end of the path, past some people at picnic tables.  Then I have to double-back and go all the way down a path to the back of the woods where my sister will be.  I wonder why I didn’t just stop there first afterall, to save some of this time and walking.  As I’m walking a small black dog (like my neighbor’s dog) comes running up, barking ferociously.  I talk to it sweetly and emit a calm feeling, in hopes of calming it down. I think it works.

The first dream has to do with harmonization and with being unprepared.  I suspect this has to do with initiations I’m going through and with ways I’m seeking to grow within myself.  It’s time to perform, time for me to show my stuff and present something awesome, but I haven’t done the work, the practice, to really, truly pull it off.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my scattered mind and about do my metaphysical exercises the best I can.  I suspect this is what that dream is about.  The last part is likely about a dream class my teacher asked me to teach.  I would really enjoy doing it, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the time commitment.  This is what I’m hesitating on in the dream.  To apply these dreams I need to make sure I put in my best effort in my exercises and work on being present and concentrated throughout the day.

In the second dream the clothes and environment stand out to me.  It could be a past life memory, but I’m not sure it was. (Even if it was, it can still be interpreted symbolically.)  The garb is of peasants, which suggests an expression of lacking self value.  The forest is a place of subconscious mind.  The mixture of women and men in the dream suggest interaction between conscious and subconscious, although there is some secrecy, confused trust/loyalty, lack of planning and wise direction choices, etc.  The dog is a distracting, unpleasant habit!  To apply this dream I would want to work on trusting myself, particularly relating to my subconscious state of mind.  I would want to be open and try to create a clear plan or direction using my subconscious, free of distraction, particularly bothersome, unproductive ways of thinking.

Happy dreaming!

Dreamy Wednesday (Belated):

Sometimes when I go away and my routine gets disrupted, I find it harder to remember my dreams.  Fortunately, my dreams have come back, and with a vengeance!  Here are the last two days:


  • Substitute aid for a P.E. class.  P.E. teacher is in a classroom (a bit larger).  He is gathering up all of the materials when I come in.  Makes a comment about materials left in the hallway by someone else.
  • I am hugging a bunch of men to say goodbye.  For some they seem very attached to me.  One I kiss on the lips, not meant sexually, but the guy’s eyes light up in surprise.  And one guy and I end up dancing a bit.  Some older woman (teacher/authority) breaks us up, and we find another way to dance further apart, holding each other’s hands with arms out.
  • Sitting in chairs, including students, reminiscing over old days.
  • Girl not treated fairly.  We investigate.
  • ___________ ?  people help me move shelves?
  • Climbed a mountain — looked out around as if to try to seethe whole world (as if talking to someone.  Then kind of slid down the mountain.  Went back to my house.  (Slid a little lucidly in the dream.)  Was moving fast through neighborhood.  Car there, but I imagined my route would be clear.  Back to my house (flat?)  Greeted my boys with a hug and kiss.  I was male.  Wife there.
  • Some kind of movie-like scenario with bad guys coming after more laid-back good buys, but they have ingenious home-made contraptions to knock out the bad guy, including a barrel that explodes and lets out farts while the guys are already trapped down.  Later wife is upset because these shenanigans have destroyed the house a bit.  Huge crack against the wall.  We have a fight, and I say to her that she doesn’t appreciate me, basically.  I clarify that I think I’m awesome, but she doesn’t.  I get no reaction from her.
  • Sitting in a car.  (Larger car)  Certain way to sit.  By twos.  (Concert?)
  • Visited YMCA to talk about my business.  Some distractions.  (And her fixing up area.)  I don’t know that we end up talking about it.
  • My sister is upset.  She and Mom have been together and she has had some items stolen from her purse/bag (or at least, they are missing).  She begins replacing some, like nail polish and maybe other make up.  She and Mom are pretty concerned it happened in their quick stop at a hotel.  I ask them which hotel because I say I don’t want the same to happen to me.
  • Mom (at Bobi’s — grandma’s) showing me some jewelry she is wearing (maybe necklace?)  She laughs about how Dido goes/would go around the house opening all of the blinds, and Bobi closes them.
  • My body was freaky skinny.  I had like no behind at all, and I just felt really flimsy like there was no sustenance for me. 


  • Planning to move to Hollywood.  For a moment I identified with Marilyn Monroe (felt I was her).  I began to change my mind, though, knowing how expensive the city would be.  (I think that I told my boss it was going to be my last day.)  Saw a medium-sized model of the city.
  • Something with a girl sitting on my lap and then getting up and telling me how she wanted to be at her pool at home.
  • I remember walking somewhere.  I think we changed the traffic signals accidentally by saying “green” by them.
  • Raffle?
  • Guy walking around with goodies.  I was trying to decide, choose from the plate of sweets.  I chose a chocolate cupcake with white frosting, since I had gotten this one knocked over as I was looking.  But then the whole plate ended up flipped over.
  • Some talking about a presentation to be happy/happening?  3 or 4 lion-like creatures (animatronics or real?)  and talk that the dragon would emerge — just on that day!
  • 3 characters; seems went up into the sky.  The first two were serious and the last one was fun-loving.
  • Talking about talking to people at a party.  When asked, I said it would be different if I were at my particular friend’s house and talking to people.  I’d be like “Hey! Loosen up.  Have some fun.”  People thought this was funny.
  • Some guy did some questionnaire-contest thing.

Day 1 Symbols and Synthesis:

I’m a substitute, P.E. teacher, class materials, hugs, men, kiss, dance, older woman authority figure, hands/arms, chairs, students, girl, shelves, mountain, house, car, sons, hugs and kisses, I’m a male, wife, bad guys, crude/rough good guys, home-made weapon contraptions, farts, wife, crack in wall, car, people sitting, concert?, YMCA, sister, Mom, purse/bag, hotel, make-up/nail polish, Mom, jewelry (necklace?), Bobi, Bobi’s house, Dido, blinds, skinny body.

I’m not going to analyze every bit, so what strikes me about this dream first is that I’m a substitute P.E. teacher.  My intuitive reports talked about the importance of me being grounded, rooted in the physical, and in the importance of touch.  I believe this means I am exploring this.  I am also really connecting with subconscious mind, in the interactions I have with the men and with my two little boys.  PLUS I actually identify as a male.  Really seeing myself subconsciously.  There is some dissonance that I experienced with the battling men and in my interactions with the older woman and with my wife.  The crack in the wall is probably a good thing — it is breaking down limitations.  However, my conscious mind is unhappy about it.  I am intrigued by the hotel and jewelry situations.  We have the common theme of expression between the two.  In one, I am consciously, rapidly trying to replace self-expression that I have lost while going in and out of universal mind.  In the other, a superconscious aspect is showing off some self-expression.  The blinds make me think of allowing awareness and light in and out of the mind.

Day 2

Move, Marilyn Monroe, boss, model of Hollywood, girl, lap, traffic signals, raffle?, guy, dessert plate, chocolate cupcake, real/machine creatures, 3 characters, the sky, party, party people.

These dreams just seem really fluffy to me with the Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, the desserts, the magical creatures, people floating into the sky, being at a party.  What I get out of this for myself is that I need to get myself grounded, relax, make wise moves, get out of my head, and take in wholesome knowledge from my experiences.

Do you want to share your dream?   I love to hear others’ dreams!  Please e-mail me your dream:   If you’d like, I’ll respond with some suggestions of possible meanings and see what resonates with you.  Then please share how you would apply that to your life and let me know if you’d like to be featured in a “Dreamy Wednesday” post!

Happy dreaming!


Dreams: You did WHAT?? with WHOM??

Image courtesy of artur84 /

Image courtesy of artur84 /

The dream is always about the dreamer.  I know this.  However, I still find some sex dreams disturbing — depending on who is participating with me!  Your sexual preference is not important to your subconscious.  In fact, reality as we know it is not really important to your subconscious.  The subconscious focuses on basic symbols.

Yesterday morning I had a very vivid sex dream; one of the most vivid I’ve ever had.  And it was with a woman.  Normally this is nothing for me, but I know the woman very well, and so it was definitely weird.  However, I moved on, knowing that the woman was really just another part of me.  People in our dreams are aspects of ourselves, and people of the same sex as we are represent conscious aspects of ourselves.  But then in the interpretation I was a bit stumped: a woman and a man having intercourse in a dream represent creation, so what about two people of the same sex?   I knew I’d heard something about this before, but I couldn’t remember, and I couldn’t find it in my dream dictionary.

This is where having a teacher comes in handy.  I asked my metaphysics teacher about it in class that same night: “Does this mean that I’m getting more intimate with my conscious mind?” I asked.   “Yes. . .” she said, but she went on to ask me what else that meant.  She said I was leaving subconscious out of it; I was attempting to create with just my conscious mind.

But I still didn’t get it.  (What does that mean?)

“What’s something you have on your 10 Most Wanted List?” she then asked me.

“A finished basement,” I responded (my latest project).

“Well, using your conscious mind might involve figuring out the cost, and checking if you have the money in the bank, and going to the store, and picking out what you need. Using your subconscious mind would involve visualization and using the Universal Laws.  Like, imagining  exactly how you want the  basement to look and putting your attention on it being that way.  Maybe you meditate on how you will get the money, or give to others and claim 10-fold, so that the universe will help you receive what you need.”

Ahh!  Now this made perfect sense to me.  Yes, I had been very detailed and focused on the physical elements of the project.  And I had been very pleased with this.   I had done some basic visualization but had not asked for specific guidance from the universe and had not had faith in the abundance available.  In a nutshell, I was all in my head, not unified with myself for ultimate creation.  And this was not just about the basement.  I could see it playing out in many aspects of my life.  I’m trying to add more visualization to my life little-by-little.

Have you had any freaky dreams?  They are probably actually more normal than you think!  Now I’m off to bed.  I barely remembered anything this morning, and I want some new learning material!

Dreams: Water, Rainbows, and Clouds

photo(2)This comic, just tickled my fancy.  On the one hand you have Lucy, complaining about Snoopy stealing her shoe and being nasty and negative the entire strip, and then you have the innocent and playful response from Charlie Brown at the end when he tickles her shoeless foot.  How do you look at the world?  Who have you been this week?  Lucy?  Charlie Brown? . . .  Snoopy?

And now to tie this into my dreams. . .  hmm . . .  Maybe I can tie it into my visualization dream below.  Our thoughts create our reality.  We have to be focused and keep our visualizations directed toward the positive.  Have fun with life!

This morning I struggled to get up and almost lost my dreams, but I stuck with them.  I would like to touch on my dreams from today and then go back to my dreams from yesterday.

Part I: This Morning

Dream 1: One of my old friends popped up in my dream a few times this morning.  She has come up every so often, and usually we are reconciling or reconciled.  I’m not sure if this dream is talking about reconciling with the actual person or with some part of myself, but I think possibly both.  I feel like I may not have taken in the learning from that situation.  (We attract certain people into our life for a reason!)

Dream 2: I also remember looking into my fish tank and realizing there were 3 fish instead of our two.  When I looked closely at the new fish, I noticed its head looked like a rat’s head, like a tadpole with a rat’s head.  Fish = a compulsive thinking, perhaps particularly related to spirituality.  The rat is an unattractive animal, so I think that adds a dimension.  I am having some mixed up, unpleasant, compulsive thought forms involving spirituality.  I’m not sure what connects from yesterday, but I did struggled to get my exercises done, and I haven’t had that issue in a while.  Perhaps the dream is suggesting that I need to look at my exercises in a different way (not so much as a chore), as my teacher has suggested before. And maybe not be so perfectionistic about the new one I’m learning.

Dream 3: Finally, I dreamt I was drawing on the large off-white drawing paper that I have. One of the things that I drew was Ellen (DeGeneres).  This one is an easy interpretation for me.  Drawing is visualizing, and I’m visualizing things I desire.  I wish I could see what else I drew in the picture because I struggle with clarity about what I want.  The School of Metaphysics is interested in involving Ellen in our Dream Awareness Weekend in April, and I think about it and her a lot.  In fact, someone at my workplace has been putting her show on during lunch time, ever since this past weekend.  The thought form is out there!

Part II: Yesterday’s Dreams

I had 5 dreams yesterday.  I’m not going to interpret them all, but I wanted to share them all because they are a bit wack-a-doodle.  I do want to focus on the second dream because it has some interesting symbols.

Dream 1:

Crazy wave (tsunami) coming.  I was warned.  Knew it was going to wash over me.  I was outside in an unknown place by the water.  I had something in my hands (my lesson?)  I knew there was no place to put it down in time.

Dream 2:

Strange happenings and unknown people talking about it.  Odd rainbow somehow.  And clouds touching down into the water.  Falling as if dripping into it.

unknown people — unknown aspects of myself

rainbow — signifies identification of levels of awareness in conscious experience

clouds — represent the separation between the subconscious and superconscious parts of mind

water — conscious life experiences

Summary: This dream seems to suggest that I am becoming more aware.  There is an oddness to it, in that the rainbow is off somehow, and the clouds are dripping into the water.  Perhaps I need to have clarity in my awareness.  More distinction.  OR perhaps some awareness of merging of the parts of mind is happening.

Dream 3:

I am with a group of people, male and female.  A guy is threatening his partner and making to hit her with a plastic bag (with something in it).  I get up and tell him not even to make like he is going to hit her or I will beat the crap out of him.  (I had been silent and still up until this point.)  I got up and was right in his face when I said this.  I retreated to my seat and was silent afterwards.

Dream 4:

A mystery to be solved.  At a theater.  I end up bumping into the Mentalist there.  I am hesitant to ask him for help because I figure he must be busy.  He has a brief exchange with a guy who he thinks is a fan but turns out not really even pay attention to him.  I know the Mentalist will be able to solve the mystery.  We are outdoors now.  There are buildings overhead like connected treehouses.  There is some running around as the Mentalist sets up his plan.  (He is running?)  He gives some guy his physical report before the guy (young) goes up in the clubhouse.

Dream 5:

(I am surrounded by water, like in a large tub or small pool?)  There is a lamb.  Maybe some other animals, too, like insects.  Yes, one is an insect, and it gets close to me.  Someone with me (Dad?) thinks it’s dead, but it’s not.  I ask what will happen to the lamb that is there.  I am worried it will be killed.  Dad assures me it won’t.  It is soaking wet. 

Please feel free to share yours!  And if you want any feedback, let me know!



It’s Groundhog Day! . . . Again!: A Metaphysical View (If you haven’t seen the movie, go see it first!)

Image courtesy of chrisroll /

Image courtesy of chrisroll /

It’s been tradition as long as Brian and I have been together that we watch the movie Groundhog Day on Groundhog Day.  Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, anniversaries . . .  we don’t make a big deal of those, but Groundhog Day is set in stone!

This time around, I watched it with a bit of a metaphysical eye.  What could I learn from watching it this time? There are definitely some metaphysical themes in there:

  • The most obvious is the reincarnation and karmic journey that Phil experiences.  Phil begins the movie as an immature, selfish soul who does not give to others nor seem to care for anyone.  By the end of the movie Phil has done a complete 180, spending his entire day giving to others.
  • Phil learns the value of discipline.  Phil first learns this through his repeated attempts to woo Rita.  He later learns more valuable and creative uses of discipline: piano, french, literature, ice sculptures etc
  • Phil experiences change through death.  In the middle of the movie a heartwarming set of interactions occur between Phil and an elderly homeless gentleman.  Phil begins to care for this man, but the gentleman dies in every repeat of the day, no matter what Phil does for him.  Phil struggles with his powerlessness, even as the nurse tells him: “Sometimes people just die.”  Yet, through this experience, Phil himself has “died” to his old self, regaining control of himself and becoming reborn.  Phil also literally dies over and over and over again.  Death is Phil’s 4th stage out of these five  1) denial of the Groundhog Day experience  2) rebelliousness/anarchy  3) insincere love/lust  4) suicide  5) service and life purpose/true love   After Phil goes through the first three, he begins to despair.  Coming out of death in the fourth stage, he finally begins to change and life takes on an entirely new perspective for him.
  • Phil learns the importance of truth and true love.  In Phil’s third stage Phil begins to acknowledge his feelings for Rita and decides to act on them.  He attempts to use his time and experience to his advantage to learn everything he can about Rita and create a faux romance.  But Rita eventually catches onto him, and — try as he might, –Phil is unable to fashion his perfect happily ever after one-night stand.  When Phil begins to work on himself and then build his relationships with others, he unintentionally attracts Rita.  The true Phil turned out to be exactly what Rita was looking for all along.
  • Phil connects with his true self.  Phil’s love for Rita is what gives him the motivation to fully change.  He sees her as an “ange”l; she is everything that he is not: kind, generous, and loving.  She is the yin, and he is the yang, just as the conscious and subconscious belong together.  By tapping into her love and giving nature, his beautiful soul finally emerges.

As I reflect on these points, I realize I love this movie all the more!  It ranks up there for me now with  It’s a Wonderful Life, a budding Christmas movie tradition that also focuses on the value of the soul and the importance of service to humanity.  What other movies can I add to my list?

What are your favorite holiday movie traditions?


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