Posts tagged ‘concert’

Dreamy Wednesday: Imagination, Good Naturedness, and Faith

Back to visit with ex-boyfriend.  Go to computer room.  Computer has been moved to different spot.  I question if he even lives in this complex/apartment/condo anymore.  I do find his room and knock.  There are multiple doors because nearby door is overlapping.  He calls out and says is in the bathroom.  Dog? at apartment complex when I come in to see ex.

Someone invites me to event.  I don’t think I can because of SOM Dreamcatchers.   But I think it’s ______  Sandy ._______.

Some dress-up thing.  We are all in costumes.  We are walking to somewhere.  I am dressed as Mother Teresa.  I question whether I have the headpiece on right (to look authentic).  I hear murmuring, at least one person (woman) recognizes who I’m supposed to be and says she loves Mother Teresa.

SOM is __________.  SOM Michael is there.  He looks different.  I tell him so.  I tell him that he looks more confident.  (Some event or something or new class has maybe happened.  I see Jesse (tall).  He has a BU shirt on.  It is from graduation.  90-something is on it.  Years and years ago.

Something about how classes were done and the quality of education.  Assessments?  I don’t believe my college experience was of quality. 

At large gathering.  Concert?  We are singing (whole crowd) along with video lyrics or screen.  A famous? guest woman is singing, too, but we are not matching with her; we are matching the recording.  (She is off from it.)  Whoever is running the show stops the whole thing because we are off.  They play another song, but none of us join in.  We don’t know the song.  Then they play another song.  I say I love it!  And join in.

I share something from my cousin Tyler.  His work.  Artistic.  Maybe __________?, too.  I appreciate the color.  It’s as if I am proud as if I was his teacher.  Person going around to have us present notices I’m off, asks if I’m ok.  I say I’m getting choked up (nostalgic?)  He says “Good” and smiles.

Symbols:

  • ex-boyfriend
  • computer room
  • non-existent computer
  • apartment
  • doors
  • bathroom
  • Mother Teresa costume
  • SOM Michael
  • Jesse
  • BU shirt with 90-something
  • concert venue
  • songs
  • guest singer
  • Tyler
  • Unknown male
  • work
  • work tables

Analysis

My ex-boyfriend was fairly non-expressive.  I remember wanting to hear more from him.  A computer room is a place for the computer, which is symbolically our brain.   My brain was not where I thought it would be. . . .  Something about a smaller space but kind of Universal Mindish with all the surrounding people living there.  A bathroom is for cleansing.

Mother Teresa is one of the people I want to emulate for my ideal self.  A costume suggests I am trying a new way of expressing myself related to her.

My word of the day was “Faith”, and I believe SOM Michael represents that, with the choices he has made in his life.  Jesse represents good-naturedness and innocence to me.  He is expressing learning, and the number may be symbolic, or else he is expressing learning from the past.

Many, many, many aspects of self are gathered together to harmonize with each other.  They are not in sync with this new imagined aspect.  There is a perfectionistic aspect there, wanting to start the show over.

My cousin represents even-keelness and good-naturedness.  This part of me was younger than real life in the dream — developing? And I am working with it, since I am the teacher.  Superconsciousness in the form of the boss, and it is pleased with the creation happening with this aspect of self, and my emotional response to it.

Summary:

We are going from a focus on the brain and lacking expression — which is unsuccessful — to trying myself out in the role of my ideal self (loving), to focusing on faith and drawing upon past learnings with the good-natured and innocent part of me.  Some harmonization is attempted and is successful with many aspects of self, but not regarding imagination; in fact — I am almost ready to scrap the whole thing, losing interest, but then I get reanimated again.  Finally, I have had some success in creativity and teaching myself, related to the development of even-keelness and good-naturedness.  My superconscious is overseeing this.

This sounds about like my day.  I am developing my imagination and creativity, and struggle through the ups and downs of seeming failures and successes. Looking forward to my dreams tonight!

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A Little Holiday Entertainment

"Cello" by Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Cello” by Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today I decided to attend the Joliet Symphony Orchestra holiday concert.  I haven’t been into the “Ho Ho Ho!”s, the animated snowmen, and the glowing reindeer as much the last few years —  and I usually prefer to perform in concerts, rather than be performed to — but there is something to be said for the peace and joy that some holiday music can bring.   So, after being invited by a friend from the orchestra, and taking a peek at the program, I decided I to go.

I am so glad I went.  From the beginning, I was already tearing up during the Offenbach Intermezzo and Barcarolle.  Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker reminded me of my childhood, and I got excited with each piece I recognized; I remembered watching the ballet, and I also remembered being the little sugar-plum fairy, in her homemade ballerina costume, who used to spin around the house to the music of her parents’ old record.

The soloists were also a  fantastic touch.  The flautist’s runs during Chaminade were amazing, the baritone’s voice was rich and deep during Handel’s “The Trumpet Shall Sound” from Messiah, and the harp and percussion did an amazing job throughout.  As a clarinetist myself, I eagerly strained to hear the beautiful clarinet solos, and I melted every time the violins began to play.

I miss playing, but it was really a fascinating experience being on the other side.  I probably won’t be able to return the orchestra for some time, but I intend to continue coming to see them play.

So Happy


I cried on the drive home yesterday evening.  It was a happy cry.  It was the feeling that I wanted to be that happy forever.  I had a fantastic concert.  I played my best yet on all of the pieces, and I did a great job on my solo (despite being incredibly nervous!).  It was great getting all of the compliments.  I’d missed that.  Before I kept thinking: “I’m good at things!  I’m somebody!  Why don’t people realize it?”  I know it’s important what I think about myself.  I know I shouldn’t care what others think.  But, it is nice to be appreciated.

Brian and I decided to go the after party, and I’m glad we stopped by for a while.  We chatted a bit with the father of one of my good friends who got me involved in the orchestra in the first place.  He fascinated us with descriptions of the Southwest, the land, and the crystal clear sky.  (He said that from his land atop a mountain, you felt your head was in the Milky Way!)  And I especially perked up when he spoke of the Anasazi and how he’d explored their ancient dwellings.  He moaned about how his family wouldn’t go with him, and I cried: “We’ll be your family!!”

I know someday we’ll go there.  I hope to travel across the whole United States.  Brian and I have joked about getting an RV and wandering the U.S., but I think we secretly really want to.  We talk about our dreams of someday traveling all over, someday when our lives are more secure, and we’ve got more money in the bank.

And I’m beginning to believe that my dreams will come true.  I finally joined a musical, something that satisfies two pictures on my dream board: singing and acting.  (And I should have dancing up there, too!)  And with the work I’m doing in the rest of my life, I hope to fulfill my dreams of being a writer, traveling the world, and everything else!

Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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