Posts tagged ‘advice’

Funny Friday: “I Know!” (Are you sure?)


Do you think you know everything? Good. Because I certainly do. No, seriously, I just heard this a few nights ago, and I’ve heard it before: the most dangerous two words out there are “I know.”

But we like to think we know it all, don’t we? I’m certainly guilty of this myself. We read a great book, and suddenly we’re experts on the topic. As parents we go to parent/teacher conferences to tell the teachers how to teach. We yell at our TV screens, telling football coaches how to coach. We get married and have children, which now makes us the experts on marriage and having children. We tell people what shoe colors to wear, what their weight should be, what they shouldn’t eat – until the latest study tells us it’s ok to eat it again, what kind of education they should get, which jobs are good jobs, whether or not people should have children, when and wear to get married, even what to believe.

Often the intentions are even good. Parents “don’t want you to make the same mistakes.” Friends want to “save you the trouble.” Right?

But what if you like making mistakes? What if you want to be the “Queen of Mistake- Making”? Can you imagine? Maybe that should be my new title.  I’ll bet I would have no competition. And I did tell my mom once (or twice)  in my angsty teenage years: “Let me make my own mistakes! You don’t need to protect me.” I think I was well on my way to my inauguration as “The Contented Mess-up Queen”.

But it’s hard. I know it is. We may make a “mistake,” and then we want to fix it — and sometimes we can’t. We have regrets that we don’t know how to resolve. So, we think we’ve found some redemption through the wonderful idea:   “I know! I’ll ‘fix it’ for others!” But let me reiterate, folks, that can be a great disservice.

Especially, if we don’t really know. When I look back on my life, my only regrets are for those times when I didn’t follow my desires When I didn’t give it a try. Maybe I’d listened to somebody else. Or maybe I’d wanted to protect myself. And I missed out. It all worked out fine – I’m still happy and healthy. But I missed out.   I missed out when I didn’t face my fear and try out for the high school softball team. I missed out not taking writing in college because I didn’t believe writing was a good job or didn’t believe that I could be any good at it. I missed out by playing it “safe.”

So, thank goodness for those times I did take a risk. I went all alone and studied in Mexico for a semester – which — after the first week of shock and crying my eyes out — was one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve traveled to Europe alone. I’ve tried out for musicals, I’ve taken improv class, I’ve quit multiple jobs and started new businesses, I’ve navigated the online dating and speed-dating worlds, I’ve studied metaphysics, I’ve biked 100 miles through the Rockies, I’ve performed solo concerts. I’ve risked, and I’ve lived.

So, I’m here to tell you. Maybe you do know. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you know, but I’m just not ready to hear it yet. I appreciate you caring enough to give the advice. . . But please don’t force feed it down my throat like mushy carrots from an infant’s momma on a mission. Maybe you do know, but I just might want to know it for myself. ❤

Image courtesy of stockimages at

Summary Saturday/Sunday: Working with Change

This weekend came at the tail end of some big change.  I left my full-time warehouse position on Friday and finished up my Spanish II tutoring Saturday morning.  I am relieved to have completed both of those, but I feel like I haven’t gotten a chance to breathe yet — and maybe I won’t!  There are things to do.   Goals to accomplish.   Gotta get moving.

It is a pattern of mine to be busy, and I’m taking a look at that.  Part of it is that I seem to fall apart without structure.  Another is that it’s an excuse not to look at my goal, purpose, and ideal.  Having downtime means having time to think, to reflect.  Busyness means I ain’t got time for that.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

Based on my experiences from the last days, the next few weeks are going to mean a couple of things for me.

  1. Baby Steps.  I feel a swelling panic within me because of the huge projects lurking over me; i.e.  starting my business, securing supplemental income, and cleaning the whole house.  If I panic, I will shut down.  I will procrastinate or do nothing at all.  So, my first plan is to find the mini goals within the big goal and schedule them and knock ’em out.  If the little goal still seems like too much, I will break it down even further.  For example: getting myself completely organized and the house completely clean turns into: Cleaning all of my excess stuff (changes of clothes, school books and papers, old winter jacket!, out of the car and dumping it in the kitchen.  Next small step: taking things off of the kitchen table and putting it back where it belongs — a few items at a time.  Also,  I’m wanting to set up a new bank account for the business, and I’m considering a local institution.  Seems daunting!   My baby step can be calling them up to get some info.  Or researching them for a few minutes.  If I’m being perfectionistic about setting things up, maybe I drop in and talk with someone first and then come again another time.  Anything to get me started.
  2. Stay Solid, But Stay Open.  I feel I don’t do well with change, especially anything that originates from an outside source.  One of my metaphysics classmates said that she struggles with change and that it’s a “Virgo” thing, and — as a fellow Virgo — I pounced on it as a convenient excuse for my limitation.  I know from experience and my intuitive reports that I desperately throw down anchors around me when things begin to shift around me.  The important thing is to become centered within myself.  Part of that is becoming secure in myself and who I am and what I’m meant to do.  If I can be secure within I will be able to take advice and suggestions better from without — a moldable, squishy  outside with a rock-hard core!

What have you learned about yourself this week?  How do you deal with change?

Tribute Tuesday: On Divine Friendship

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic/

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic/

One of my classmates asked the students at break/announcements if we had anything to share about divine friendship, as relating to our experiences through the School of Metaphysics.  I was focused on the rest of the lesson plan for the evening and did not contribute at the time.

However, I have definitely experienced divine friendship, along with every other student.  I cherish my classmates, my teacher, the director, and all of the students/teachers of the School of Metaphysics.   We ALL love each other.  Just because we are. And that is the key to the community.  We recognize every individual as a soul, as a spirit, and we honor every existence.  And we honor truth, allowing us to be every bit of who we are: the beautiful stuff about us, the stuff we don’t want to face and/or don’t know how to change, and the ideal Self that we will someday be.  And the best part is our friends will accept this, accept us, every bit of us.  That doesn’t mean we are accepted as just what we are.  It means also seeing what we intend to become and not letting us stagnate.  And neither does that mean everything is all roses and butterflies; on the contrary, some of the most uncomfortable exchanges have brought about the most growth!

As an example, today the director asked me how I was doing, and I said “Ok.”  Of course, she probed further, and I expressed my displeasure with my job.  She talked with me about the importance of having a goal and purpose for every day at work, and she told me she didn’t leave one of her jobs until she loved it.  I didn’t want to hear any of this.  My ego was negatively motivating me on this one.  I wanted to be miserable.  I was afraid of being stuck and stagnant.  But I saw the wisdom in her advice.  I knew the damage negative thinking could do — I am an expert negative thinker and visualizer! — and the angels like to warn me about it, and I knew the power of gratitude. (My sister read that when you give thanks the angels dance about you!).  Later that evening my teacher stopped by, and I shared my earlier conversation.  She liked what the director had to say and added the importance of staying focused on the image of my ideal position.  She said she’d like to check in about it once a week and assured me that what I wanted would happen.

I am grateful for all of my friends this life time.  They have loved me, encouraged me, and supported me.  Some have helped me learn my value.  Others have helped me take a deeper look at myself and what I need to change.  I believe everything happens for a reason, and I thank God for the wonderful people I’ve attracted into this lifetime.

Campfire Story: a Tutor/Student Collaboration

"Campfire" courtesy of franky242 /

“Campfire” courtesy of franky242 /
The original picture we used for inspiration shows people in a semi-circle around a campfire.

I’m trying to motivate one of my tutoring students who I see for writing.  We began with an image that he needed to use as inspiration to create a story.  My student is an extremely intelligent, creative young man but just does not like to write.  He especially has a hard time writing good details (and using a lot of them).  The best I’ve had from his so far is when I had him play some classical music and write stories from it.  So, I know he can do it!

Since I do like to write and am trying to get myself to do more of it, I figured we could team up and get somewhere.  I also told him that I would be posting this — his name anonymous, of course — and that I would share any comments I got back from it, so please feel free to leave comments directly to him.  You can maybe call him “Writing Student A” or something.  Also, if you have any writing ideas for us, please share!

Unfortunately, my student couldn’t stay serious and kept trying to throw in the story of the 3 Little Pigs — or a variation thereof —  through a campfire story or at the end of the story.  (In a previous lesson I had him do a variation of a common fairytale/fable, and he hooked on to the “Three Little Pigs” and hasn’t let go since!)  Then, at then at the end of the story he kept trying to kill everyone off — or at the very least, the animals — and tried to bring in AK47s and other assault weapons into the story.  Since I was also writing this story and also didn’t think it was appropriate or realistic that AK47’s would be in a camping situation — although maybe the family was aware of the bears? — I had to keep taking over or redirecting and ended up writing much of the story myself or running with anything tamer that I might catch from his lips.  (In previous lessons we’ve written stories where we go back and forth — I write a sentence and then he writes a sentence, etc — and inevitably, he keeps killing off my characters, and I’ll either introduce new ones or try to resurrect the old ones. . . . If you’re interested in any of his other pieces of work, let me know, and I’ll post those, too. (This past lesson he wrote a simple but great appreciation letter about a pizza rolls company that he’s going to send sometime in the next week.)

So here we go!  His part is underlinedparts that I wrote with ideas from him are in italics; my parts are regular type:

“Every summer our whole family gathers together in the woods behind my uncle’s house for some good old-fashioned camping and campfire storiesSometimes the stories are from my family’s past.  Sometimes they are ghost stories.  But whatever stories they are — I never want to miss a one.  I sit, leaning forward, my eyes wide open, my head cocked, straining to catch every word — until at some point I inevitably fall asleep.

Later I wake up, and everybody around me is still telling stories.  They say it’s my turn, so I start to tell the story of the time I saw a ghost hunter with the vacuum that sucks up ghosts.  Three ghosts came out of the girls’ bathroom at Edward’s hospital, and the ghost hunter killed the ghosts.

My uncles and aunts encourage me and ask me questions about my story.  But I don’t know what to talk about, so I smile sheepishly and ask them to skip my turn.  One hour later we all fall asleep, one-by-one.  

After a while, 3 black bears come out and steal all of our food!  One bear found a really, really, really, really, really, really, really (etc) big pack of bacon.  That bear accidentally dropped the bacon on another bear’s head.  Then they got into a fight because the bear who dropped the bacon thought the other bear was going to steal his food.  And then they caused so much commotion that everyone woke up.  Everyone started screaming.  Barely thinking, I found a match book, set a stick on fire, and lobbed it toward the bears; the grass caught a bit on fire.

Thankfully, the noise and fire shocked the bears who ran off with the rest of our camp food hanging from their jaws.  The shaken family had enough wits about them to stomp out the fire that had started.

Now I finally have a story to tell at our next campfire!”

Again, please share comments!  I will copy and paste this story and your comments onto a document to share with him next week.

I Am the “Spider”

"Web of Pearls" by Tina Phillips

“Web of Pearls” by Tina Phillips

I am a spider.  Oh, that’s a terrible analogy, but it works for this topic.  Maybe I’ll come up with a better one by the time I finish this post. But anyway, this is the conversation that I had with my fiancée.  He believes in his company.  I do, too.  I use most of the products, for goodness sake, and I LOVE them.  I use the shampoo, the conditioner, the moisturizer, the vitamins, the protein, etc etc.  And they are all fantastic.  And I love that his company uses scientists and does a lot of testing to make sure the products work and recalls products that don’t meet the standards.   I love that my eye doctor looked into the window of my body (eyes) and commented on how great they look. I love that my teeth are healthy with the non-fluoride toothpaste, despite that my insurance doesn’t cover my dentist visits (fingers crossed on that one).  I love the boost my vitamins give me to get me through the day.  I love that I notice the chemicals now in products that aren’t natural — at work and at others’ houses who disinfect in front of me —  because the ones that I use are that chemically pure and awesome.  I love that the protein from this company keeps me healthy on my now stricter vegetarian diet.  And I know how the products have cured my grandmother’s health concerns, cured my nose-running (and that of my sister), and allowed my fiancée to recover faster from the winter sickness than me – the person who decided to just “tough it out.”  It is a part of my life, and if you asked me, I would tell you about all of this.

But you have not asked me, and I am the spider.  I wait.  That sounds so awful.  Maybe I am the wise woman who does not seek out?  I wait to be approached?  If you asked me for help —  if you asked me for advice — I would be easier about this.  I know what has worked for me.  But I know that life is like mathematics.  Like religion.  Like God/the Goddess.  There are many paths to the same end.  To reach the goal.  To find our way to better health.   So, if you are finding your way – fantastic.  I love you, and support you!  And if you are lost, I know a way!  It is not THE way, but it is a way, and it works for me.

May you be blessed in whatever way you choose, and if I can be of any service to you, that would give my life that much more meaning.

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