Flashback to the Camino: Day 1

(On the plane.) Here we go — the story begins.  The funny thing is, here I am leaving for the trip of a lifetime, and I’m worrying about that there are 36GB of cellular data on my phone.  What??  How did that happen?  I’m worried I’m costing the family plan an arm and a leg.  This is why I like controlling everything.  I like to know what’s going on.  I’m seeing from this. . . lost that thought — oh yeah!  that I must take one day at a time, steps at a time.

(Written in the notebook margin.) I am now determined to use the sides of the notebook, too.  No waste!  Write, write, write!  This will be a discovery journey.  What do I need?  What don’t I need?  What are my strengths?  What are my challenges?  I do want to stick to $40 (spent per day), but I would love the freedom to spend however I choose.  At least this will force me to go the more traditional route and meet more people.  I wonder who I will meet on my journey. . .  I hope they come from all over!  And I hope they speak English!  English is truly a blessing for its universality.  That is truly, truly a blessing.  And I feel really bad that I did not give a donation for the passport.  I will have to give a good donation next time.  Just even my first day in France will be a blessing!  Everything else is a bonus!  I’m . . .  lost that thought.  Oh yeah.  I’m not sure I will want to come back.  I’m enjoying tutoring less again.  Time to perk it up!  But also find ways of working that fit my dream.  Tutoring is simply not my dream, just as nothing but Shaklee is Brian’s dream — although, there is also the idea of the health center.

I was terrified today.  Terrified and scared.  And I don’t like this pen.  And I feel sick.  The Snickers bars were NOT a good idea.  I probably should have bought some food with the $6, but I didn’t.  I wonder if I could exchange it.  For $1 Euros.  So silly.  At least I have money for the transport.  I can’t believe we only have 1/2 hour.  I guess I should have taken a look at that .

But I can take a book or two.  I hope I get to say on the same plane — when in England.  I dislike getting on and off.  I’d like to feel some freedom with what I do there.  Maybe I could send my journals home – and items I no longer need.  my back back is ridiculously huge.  Watching a bit of the movie in front of me.  Almost want to watch a movie, but don’t.  I’ll read el Camino books.

Really excited about what I will see there.  Kind of wishing I had more phone access now, but I will look for wi-fi.

Perused the guidebook — even more excited about the trip now!  Pretty hungry, though.  What will I do with the notebooks is send them ahead on the 25th day.  I don’t know how this will work.  I’ll see how much I write in them, too.  10 pages per day.  It will take me 15 days to finish the 2 notebooks. (I only finished one notebook.) Maybe I will buy one more along the way.  And send all 3 ahead.  I can be frugal.  I think I need to really enjoy this, though.  Spain looks absolutely wonderful!  And limit technology, yes.  I will need to hop on wi-fi immediately at the end of the day to be able to talk to the U.S.  3pm will be 10pm!  (I was backwards here. . .)  Will definitely have to be during a break, I think.  Or maybe on a weekend when Brian can stay up a little longer.  5pm call?  Texting?  And I have 1 text a day, anyway.

We are in Canada now (overhead).  The blessings from everyone really meant a lot to me.  particularly the one from Grandma.  Really sweet.  I wonder what Dad told them. (text omitted)

This notebook is not the most important part of my experience, though it is important.  My spiritual journey is more so.  It’s me, God, and the angels right now!  I definitely have to come back here with my family —  Brian in particular.  If this goes well, and I’m anticipating it is going to go very well — I think I may actually come back many times.  I may bring others here.  Can’t wait to start walking!  Gotta keep that adrenaline, right!  Argh!  So excited!  I just kind of wish I had Brian with me.  But I know I need to go there alone.  It would probably be good for him to go it alone — or something similar — too.  I don’t know if I’ll ever do the Appalachian trail.  It’s not really my thing.  I don’t feel a need to prove myself amidst the crazy elements.  I’m really excited about meeting many different people.  I will just need to be sure that I get some Teri alone time.  It will probably need to happen when I am on the trail. I wonder if the one woman in the documentary was mostly alone.  I think my “theme of the journey” is “connection.”  Could also be “gratitude”, but I feel “connection” is stronger.  Connection with myself and connection with spirit/God/Goddess.  Maybe I will even figure out what I want to call them.  Thought a bout getting up and going to the bathroom because my seat partner did, but I don’t need to.  I think I’ll wait.  Better to practicing holding the bladder?  Not sure.  I think my seat partner looks a little like the (unintelligible writing) guy.

Still trying to understand humility. . . (to be continued)

 

Advertisements

Make the Morning Routine Sacred

 

My morning routine is critical.  Period.  I need it for balance.  And I realized 2 Things:

1. If I miss one part of it, the whole line of dominos comes crashing down.  (Overused, isn’t it?  What else could I use besides dominos?  Hmm. . .)  My first wake up stuff doesn’t count.  I take the dogs out.  I make sure the dogs and cats have food.  I do the litterbox.  But then I walk.  This is the critical piece.  Yesterday it rained, so I decided not to go, but I’m thinking about deciding to go, no matter what.  I was really off yesterday.  Was I off because I didn’t walk?  No.  But could I have helped myself stabilize by walking?  Yes.  I walk, then I journal/blog and do my Chalene challenge for the day.  Then, I do yoga and shower, do face and teeth, and dress for the day.

2. I must avoid ALL news and communication during my morning routine time.  (Anything potentially rabbit-holey.)  Last night I was in bed and received some text messages AND this morning I was in bed and received text messages (This is not normal, by the way).  AND I still have not responded.  I know I would have been super resentful if I had done so.  (I’m waiting until after my routine!)  I’ve responded immediately in the past and completely lost my morning time.  And YET even in this very moment I am still off from my routine! Rabbit-hole ahead. . .  —>  

I felt the need to check into Doreen Virtue on youtube and to see what her angel cards had said for the week to see if she said anything about the moon cycle/astrology/world energy, whatever, that might help me understand the emotional dips I’d had this week (and that others have experienced as well).  A 5-10-minute visit to youtube turned into 45-minutes of research and phone conversation because Doreen is no longer doing the angel card readings and is going through her own transformation.  (That threw me into a bit of a tizzy.) HOWEVER, I think I got the answer I was looking for in searching for her in the first place:  This is yet ANOTHER sign that I need to turn back in toward myself for my own answers, which I talk about in next workshop “Soul Fascination” with Beth Majerszky on October 28th.  Everything continues to point me in this direction!   If I don’t think the answers are available, the angels are gently hitting me over the head to remind me!

Much love and many blessings.

 

Follow-Up on Pride

Verdict on pride: neutral.

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.” — Oscar Wilde

Pride came up last night at a party.  A person had recently come back from a trip and told me about how proud the people there were of their heritage.  The word stabbed at me as they crossed their ears. And I noticed. . . there was even a sense of pride in the way he talked about their “pride”!

But I  believe in the value of moderation.  Pride in accomplishments builds confidence, builds self-esteem.  I know from personal experience that not enough pride — an overemphasis of and misunderstanding of humility — can lead to depression and self-hatred.  Yet. . .too much pride can lead to isolationism. It can mean an over-emphasis on the qualities of an individual, group, or organization over the qualities and potential of others.

Whereas love of the self is necessary, love of one to the detriment of others is the seed of misunderstandings, fighting, and even war.

I will no longer completely reject pride . . . nor will I absolutely condone it!

Much love any many blessings. ❤

Pride

“Where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.” — Fitzwilliam Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

“I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit.” — ALSO Fitzwilliam Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

From vocabulary.com:

The noun pride describes a feeling of happiness that comes from achieving something. When you do a good job or finish a difficult task, you feel pride. Pride can also have a negative meaning and refer to exceedingly high self-regard.

I had a post in mind, but now I’m thrown off by researching the definition of the word.  I was all set to denounce pride, releasing it so that I could set myself free from the jealousies, insecurities, etc associated . . .  But . . .  the “feeling of happiness that comes from achieving something”?  In other words . . .  celebrations?  Recognizing accomplishments?  Maybe even . . .  gratitude?

I could certainly use more of those things.

What are your thoughts?

Much love any many blessings. ❤

Answered Gift: A Beautiful Dream of Flying

Yesterday right before bed I said in a loud, semi-demanding voice: “I would really like a very easy dream!  One, so straight-forward there is no way I couldn’t interpret it.  So blatantly obvious. . .”  blah blah blah, you get the picture.

I got a beautiful gift:  another flying dream.

I dreamt that people were out walking, at various points along a walk, and I wanted to show them I could fly.  I had a way of taking off to get momentum, and I used my arms, as a bird might use wings.  I made sure I did it in front of them so they could see it — I could fly!  I soared all around these rooms, one with a high ceiling, kind of looking like a converted barn with many comfortable sofas/big cushiony chairs.  One seat in particular had a wicker composition with a high, rounded back and a hugely wide cushiony seat, and it was tucked away a bit, facing the wall.  A friend joked that that was my seat, my special place.  As I was flying I remember my arms tiring a bit, and I realized it was because I hadn’t been flying much.  I needed to work those muscles back up.

Flying  tends to be a symbol for freedom (nothing holding you down/back).  I was particularly struck by the part where I was aware that I had to build my muscles back up.  That is the message I take away from my dream:  I need to work those muscles.  The “muscles” could refer to one of 3 things for me: my intuition/psychic ability, my spiritual composure, or my imagination.  All are pretty related and can be developed through each other.

This may connect to my recent search for answers regarding my psychic abilities, but I think it’s more likely connected to the experience I had last night.

Last night I was at work, and a situation came up where a client was unhappy, and I wasn’t sure how to make the client happy while also preserving the regulations of the workplace (which were there for good reason!)  I became very stressed and disoriented and expressed this to another person at work.  Her response altered my perspective and helped me find a positive way to view the situation.

Soon after our interaction, a client walked in.  We worked out some scheduling and then she mentioned my recent trip to Spain and started to talk about her trip to Ireland and Scotland.  I told her that I’d never been to Ireland but that my grandparents in-law had been giving my fiancee and I some flack, since I’d traveled quite a bit to other places, and Brian is half-Irish!  I said that maybe she could convince me to go, and she did an excellent job!  The way she described her experience (an off-the-beaten-path one) took me right there, walking up the Cliffs of Moher and hearing about all of the generations of families living along the cliff and also taking a bus tour through Glasgow and seeing where the royals got crowned!  She said she’d love to hear more about my trip to Spain.  I could see the glow about her face after sharing her experiences with me.  I’m sure it was a mirror reflection of my own.

I realized a great sense of peace and contentment had settled upon me.  Something, I didn’t experience too often but that surpassed my normal states of being.  Soon after, I checked my mail, and I had a message from Brenda Large from the Joliet Junior College Continuing Education Department.  She wrote that she had just met a gentleman who had written about his experiences on the Appalachian trail who did presentations on his experience. “This made me think of you.  I believe you had quite a journey this summer.  Is this something you would be interested in as a seminar?  I would think you could fill a two hour seminar with tales from the trek and photos.”  She asked me if I would be interested.  “Yes!  Definitely interested!  Great idea!” I responded.

Interesting timing, no?

Much love and many blessings. ❤

Angel Numbers: 8888! and 2222!

I got some very strong angel numbers back-to-back today.  The 8’s are a strong message of abundance, and the 2’s are a strong message of everything going well and according to plan.  These showed up at the same time on my odometer today as I was thinking about intuition and my purpose to help others with knowing themselves and making their own decisions.  I must be on the right track!

Much love and many blessings. ❤

Communications: The Answers Are Everywhere

As much as I sometimes enjoy structure, I’m feeling the need to morph again.  I will continue to speak on my experiences and observations with communication, but I am starting to throw in other things as well, depending on where inspiration takes me.

We all have questions.  Some are hidden deep within our hearts.  Some we share with the world.  And if we voice them to the spirit world and our inner selves, we will receive answers.  Often they will come in unexpected ways.

Friday I had a visit with a psychic who was highly recommended by a friend as someone who lives and breathes “in spirit.”  I was both nervous and excited the whole week leading up to our visit.  As the appointment got closer I got the same feeling/thought that nagged at me as I was approaching the Camino: “You’re putting too much on this.  You’re building this up way too much.”  And I found this to again be the case.

Just as with the Camino, the visit was exactly what I needed — if not what I expected.  I got my answers, though it took some stretching for me to see them.  What was really neat was that I also unexpectedly got some answers (some the same!) from a phonecall I had been on that same morning with a mastermind accountability partner.  It proved to me that I don’t need to receive information in a particular way to have my “ah ha!” moment.  I need to be awake and aware at all times.  Spirit is listening, and it wants to connect with us and help us on our way.

My main takeaways from this weekend are these:

1. I have to focus on myself first.  I need to be financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually stable before all other things, if I wish to continue moving forward.  A consistent suggestion has been meditation.  In fact, I’ve heard that suggestion SO many times in the last week, that I jokingly (but maybe seriously!) told a few people that I was now going to meditate if nothing else because the next time someone asked me “Do you meditate?” I was going to be say and emphatic: “Yes!”  (I have meditated the last 3 days straight.)  Yoga was also suggested, and I have successfully practiced yoga for the past 3 days, as well as refocusing my attention on my diet.
2. I am a “procrastinator.” This has been an interesting one for me.  We have to be very careful with our “I am” statements and watch what we own, do we not?  But I was looking for a possible kick in the pants, and I got one from the spirit world.  It knew just the word to set me off.  I do believe in the power and importance of using affirmative statements, using “I am” in terms of our ideal self, i.e. “I am successful.  I am beautiful.  I am powerful. I am a being of light.”  However, I think it is also important to acknowledge where we are starting from.  Up until that reading I had been procrastinating, but I had been in denial about it.  My excuses had become so convincing that I had allowed them to become my reality.  People need to hear things in different ways for the message to be fully received.  And for me, right now, I need to hear the “You are a procrastinator” message to set me into action.  Is this ideal?  Perhaps not.  But it is what is working for me right now.
3. “We are one.” This was my mantra over and over again last night in meditation.  I felt on edge this past weekend, and now I realize it was probably because the country was on edge this past weekend.  The part of me that loves drama (Yes, it’s in there, too!) dipped my toes into the muddy waters yesterday, but thankfully, I was able to restrain myself from diving in.  That is not what the world needs right now.  The world needs more calls for unity.  Leaders recognize that division makes us weaker.  This knowledge can be used both for “good” or “ill.” It separates us from the truth that we are all connected, a moving breathing energy entity.   Together we can move mountains.  Separate . . . we start fires.  If conflict is inevitable, then peaceful forces are essential.  Whether a meditator, a mediator, a pray-er, a nature-lover, or all of the above — we need to do the work right now.  We are badly in need of healing.

Are you looking for answers?  Remember, ASK and you shall receive!  I would love to hear where your responses are coming from!

Thank you for all that you do for this world.  I hope you found a little inspiration here today. Much love and many blessings. ❤