My grandmother passed away this past month. It wasn’t a huge shock because she was up in years, and dementia had already been stealing her away. But it’s still sad to know that I won’t see her again on the physical plane. All of my matriarchs are gone now, lost in the last 3 years: my mom, then my mom’s mom, then my dad’s mom.
Crazy that my grandma bestowed a gift upon me with her passing – I’d been longing to take an airplane trip, but hadn’t considered it much — too expensive, had to work, and didn’t want to leave Brian/the pets alone. But I didn’t dare miss this. (I hadn’t been able to make my other grandmother’s funeral and regretted it!) Fortunately, the timing worked out perfectly. It was a whirlwind trip, flying out the morning of the wake and leaving the morning after the funeral.
I almost didn’t make it. I picked up some kind of bad cold just over a week before I was supposed to fly out. Sore throat, consistent cough (but no fever) . . . I took a covid test to be safe and didn’t get results until the day of my flight. (Negative, thank goodness!) I was fairly recovered by the time I flew, but terrified of the return of any coughing fits on the plane or at any of the events, which of course I had — on the plane ride out, the wake, AND the luncheon. Thankfully, I had my thermos of water and cough drops handy.
I was nervous about reconnecting with my relatives at the wake. I wasn’t super close to most of them, though a part of me really wanted to be. I didn’t want to feel like an outsider again. I didn’t want to feel like we were really different. I wanted to connect.
And we did! It was beautiful. I was able to talk with many of my relatives (and there are many!) for at least a passing sentence or two. And for some we had the chance to go even deeper. I realized that some of them are actually introverted like me, and though we still may not have much in common, we can find ways to connect, even just a little. I had a truly wonderful couple of days.
So, thank you for your watching over us all, and I miss you, Grandma. I miss you, too, Babi. And I miss you, Mom. I lit a candle for each of you after mass, like I did along the Camino in Spain when Babi was sick and praying over me. And Margaret, if you are reading this, it was good to see you again. ❤
May you all have a beautiful rest of your day, and if you’ve still got your mom or grandma, please give her a hug and a kiss for me!