“If I could safely show up being the real me, who would I be more of?”

“If I knew I was fully loved and accepted for being me, what would that look like?

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’m taking a wonderful course called “Masks Off” with Jacque Mohlman Alderete, based on The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

This week felt a little dark as we dove into truth and the challenge of knowing and expressing who we really are.   Jacque asked us to reflect on the above questions for homework.

I’ve always thought it would be great to be a Betazoid.  I used to watch a lot of Star Trek, Next Gen first with my friend Sonia (and then Voyager when I first started dating Brian). I read a few of the books by Peter David, including Imzadi, the background love story between Counselor (and empath) Deanna Troi and Commander William Riker.  I was immediately fascinated by the Betazoid culture.  All Betazoids were telepaths.  How novel!  How freeing!  No one could lie.  No one could hide.  Everyone knew everything about everybody.  And I figured: “I’ll bet they all realize that every single one of them is crazy!  (And they’re ok with it!)  Imagine if we were authentic at all times. Imagine if we all knew each other’s dark sides.

I wish we all started that way.  I wish we could be real from the very beginning and never feel a need for the “masks.”  It feels like it’s too late now.  It’s been a continual obsession of mine to be “real.”  I even read the book Getting Real and tried it out on one of my close friends.  It was a disaster.  So, I put the book away.  I put my mask back on.

I heard someone say recently that the “sweetest” people are the ones who are the most angry inside.  I think that could be true.  When we stuff down our darkness, we bury it within us.  It has nowhere else to go!  To be wholly functioning individuals, we must face our darkness as well as our light.  We must accept every part of ourselves.  And allow ourselves to be who we really are, even in front of others.

That is the best gift we can give to ourselves and others.  To love ourselves and be our true selves.

So, in answer to the beginning questions of Who would I be? and What would I look like?

I would be real.  I would say “No” when I wanted to say “No” without unease or apologies.  I would be fully comfortable in my skin. I would be ever so grateful for every part of my body.  I would know my value and speak about it comfortably.  It would take no effort to hold my posture because I would exude a natural confidence.  I would wear exactly what I wanted to wear (or not wear what I didn’t want to wear!)  I would love without exception.  I would ooooze l ❤ ve!  I would embrace my limitlessness and know that all things are possible.  Every day I would wake up, incredibly grateful to have the gift of another day, living a life in absolute truth.  I’d be free to be me!

And you?

Much love, many blessings. ❤

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