It’s funny how much plans for a post can change in just a few hours.  I have had great excitement today and have had some big wins lately.  And I will reflect on those at a later time.  But at this moment I would prefer to retreat.  To reflect.  To move inward.

I haven’t attended very many wakes/funerals.  Of those that I have, I’ve felt very distant.  Perhaps it was because I didn’t know the people very well. Perhaps it was because they were older, and I knew this was to be expected eventually.

But for whatever reason, this particular passing has really affected me.  I am very emotional.  And though I believe in reincarnation, and believe that this beautiful soul is not “gone” and will have many further tasks to complete, I feel a deep sense of loss and mourning for the friends — and particularly the family — who is left behind.  I wish I’d known him better, I worry about those who cared for him, and I’m sad to see him go.

His wife said that he was different that last day.  He did things he’d never done before, cleaning up, showing extra loving affection.  . . as if on some level he knew he was leaving.

I do not understand, and it’s not for me to understand.  It’s time to sit with my feelings now, to process.  It’s time to reflect on the big picture and to try to better understand myself.

Much love, many blessings. ❤

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