I heard a great joke from my friend Goldie Matthew as the Jokemaster at the last Toastmaster’s Meeting.  I found a similar version on PirateJokes.Net to mix with Goldie’s version:

Captain Hook walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
“What do you mean?” the Captain Hook replies, “I’m fine.”
The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
“Arr!” says the Captain, “That’s a good story.  We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”
“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
“Arr!” says the Captain, “Another good story.  We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really.”
“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”
“Arr,” says the Captain, “That’s the best story of all!  One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye.”
“All due respect, Captain,” replied the bartender, “What happened?  You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird poop!”
“Arr!” says Captain Hook, “Well, it was the first day with me hook.”

Much love, many blessings! ❤

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