Perspective and “Ms. Self-Righteous”
My dharma has been coming up quite a bit in the last week (or at least I’m more aware of it now). The old dharma, that is. My dharma report says I need to evolve my dharma. I notice my dharma these days when I get all riled up over something that I disagree with or that I want to control. Yesterday it came up with Brian. That’s when I became aware of another aspect of myself: “Ms. Self-Righteous.” I think she’s twin sisters with “Ms. Manipulator.” When I want to control something, they team up.
Basically, what I’m talking about is when I get a particular perspective and the blinders go on. This one thing is right, and this other thing is wrong, and I want the other person to see this or fix this — or in general, I just want to control this.
Last weekend on the car ride back from our National Teacher’s Weekend I found myself in a situation that I hadn’t expected, and I had a pretty confident opinion about how I thought things should go. I presented a compromise, but I secretly hoped that the others involved would see the light and go along with my original plan. Nope. They took the compromise with no problem. This was a shock to me because sometimes the manipulation worked with Brian.
So, when I spoke with Brian yesterday and he called me out on my self-righteous tone, I was shocked into awareness and began to reflect on last week and some of my other experiences. I realized that I have an attachment to my way of thinking, my way of seeing things, and I feel frustrated and helpless when I can’t get my way. This is not what I want.
New plan: go with the flow. Allow for different perspectives. Expand the possibilities. Invite experiences. Also, I would like to see learning as more of a game, as an exploration. I would like to experiment with life with clear intentions and observe how things unfold. And then at the end of the day, gather all the clay, rework it, and see what enfolds.
Finding the Gold
We’ve got to take the “good” that we can out of every learning experience. One of my classmates commented on a presentation he’d heard and how one thing the presenter said in the beginning caused him to shut down and not pay any attention to the rest of the presentation. I was amused by this because I had listened to the exact same presentation and had felt it had blown my mind and expanded my awareness in at least 5 different ways! Our metaphysics teacher explained that we need to “find the gold” in any experience, in any person — in anything! If we want to find something valuable — we will! If we expect to find something awful, we will. (And we’ll miss out on the good stuff!) Our teacher then began to talk about famous “good” people and how even they were not perfect. (But they still did some pretty awesome things!) Look for the gold; look for the good. Every moment has treasure and meaning. We can be grateful for this. All we need are open eyes and an open heart.
This morning I found myself judging a situation again. I was suddenly aware of the processes of my mind and how I was quickly concluding with “disgust” (another aspect of myself) and a certainty in my opinion. I then paused and recognized something greater than my opinion — a desire to connect with someone and be a support for him in a situation that could be for his highest good. And I recognized a few ways I modify the situation for myself to make it moderately pleasant for me.
We cannot change anyone. We can only change ourselves. Sometimes we can’t change a situation, but we can change how we look at it. We can find the gold. . . and then let it go.
Many blessings of love and joy to all of you. ❤