I’m expecting some dreams about duality tonight. They say what comes up must come down. And the same is true in reverse. I had a fantastic first half of my day. I accomplished what I’d wanted to accomplish, I made some movement on some things I’d needed to move. And I realized I could touch my toes! I’ve never been able to touch my toes — not since middle school! This was a sign to me that something was definitely going right in both my physical and mental system. I even did a little writing today and started imaging some new visions for my future.
Then I went to tutoring, which was pretty good, but not quite as much a high. And then I went to a meeting, followed by preparations for teaching the new class tonight. But no one came to class. I guess I’d anticipated this, but I’d hoped for at least one or two students. I’d contacted the people who had signed up for class. One had already been to the first class and intended to come the following week. One was going to be out of town for a few weeks. Another had a family emergency. I was not able to reach/didn’t hear from the others.
I’d planned to stay pretty neutral about what ever happened, but I realized I was devastated. I feel a bit like a failure, and I was embarrassed. It’s amazing how much power our thoughts have. Would I have had the same reaction in the opposite extreme, if I’d had say 15 students? I would say so. I would be in complete awe and amazement at the potentiality. I would have a renewed faith.
What is the lesson in this? There is a lot here. 1) Keep aiming for neutrality. A peaceful zero. A gentle excitement. A determined faith. An understanding that “This too shall pass.” There will always be ups and downs, but I can stay as neutral as possible. 2) I have to take a good look at purpose here. How devoted was I to this new class? How badly did I want to teach? Where are instances where I could have increased outreach, tapped into the abundance and attraction of the universe? Where can I get clearer in who I am and what I’m doing? 3) Be both steady and a firecracker. Consistent action and consistent activity. This class is only a little about me. It’s really about the potential students, figuring out what it is that they truly desire and helping them discover and obtain it. And finding them. Through consistent outreach activity and consistent work on myself, connections will be made. And also expansion — how can we try some new things, build on what we’ve been doing? A student today talked about how she goes to a lot of booths, something that the school director has been wanting to do. This is a good connection. We’ve started looking at new types of Meetups we could visit. I may be able to start promoting the class through my local greeter program.
The key is it’s all in perspective. If I can see the big picture and identify something to learn, I can only go up from here.
Love and light to you all. ❤