I’ve been asking for guidance a lot lately from my spiritual guide(s). I haven’t figured out how to communicate with them yet, though I still sometimes see them in my number combinations and hear them in the songs lyrics on the radio.
I feel like my heart and my mind are not lined up in what I want to do with my life, and I’m not sure exactly what to listen to. Or how to listen, either.
Lately I’ve been losing tutoring students. I was overwhelmed with students — freaking out and wanting a break — and now that I’ve gotten the break, I’m not taking it well. I’m taking it as rejection or a sign of failure or a need to worry about money more. I feel my spiritual guides must be frustrated with me. (Can they get frustrated?) Here they are, giving me what I want, and I’m rejecting it!
Why am I here in the first place? Why am I in this place at this time? It is because I wasn’t happy. Am I happy now? Happier, yes. But I think I’ve forgotten how to be happy lately. I’ve forgotten how to just be. To enjoy life. To not become my job. I am NOT my job.
It’s time to remember.
P.S. Spiritual guides; I’m sorry. I do trust you. Please continue to guide me. I’ll try to listen better.