I may have mentioned this before . . . but I am a sugar-aholic. Maybe it’s a junk-food-a-holic. And I think it’s more serious than I believe it to be. Alcoholics can’t stop after one drink. I can’t stop after one cup of ice cream or one handful of chips. Sometimes it has turned into the whole pint or the whole bag of chips, and often it comes very close.
And I KNOW this can’t be good for me. But the part of your brain that should tell you to stop just doesn’t seem to work for me. The only thing that stops me is that sickening feeling my body finally gets when I’ve finally pushed it way too far.
I thought I could keep it under control by sticking to chocolate. Dark chocolate. It’s supposed to be really good for you and have some nutritional benefits. And I figured I’d be safe if I stayed away from the milk chocolate. But my stomach started having some minor issues with the dark chocolate — and I panicked.
“I can’t eat ANY CHOCOLATE??” I cried. “Am I allergic?” If I couldn’t have chocolate, what was the point of my plan? If chocolate gave me problems, why deny myself anything else?
So, then ice cream came back into the picture. Because of my lactose intolerance and the knowledge that ice cream has virtually no nutritional value, I’d been easing my way out of that vice. But, when my carefully planned sweet indulgence fell through, my mind demanded: “Bring on the ice cream!”
So, now here I am, recovering from a holiday weekend of overeating and yesterday’s downing of nearly an entire pint of brownie explosion ice cream (I think I left like 10 bites), and I’m trying to figure out where to go from here.
At least my breakfast is always healthy. It’s either a smoothie or my Ezekial cereal. Lunch is usually ok, too. It’s those evenings and weekends when I usually lose it. I guess it’s about conscious decision-making again. And maybe portioning my servings out into a separate bowl. Whatever the plan, I’m determined that this monster will not become my nightmare.
If you have any ideas, please let me know!