That’s what I call my dog Bowser when I am unhappy with him: “the dog”. If I’m particularly annoyed with him, I disown him, and he becomes “your dog” (Brian’s).
Last night was one of those times.
Since he was young, Bowser has had the annoying habit of waking up super early in the morning. He sleeps in a sleeping bag/blanket nest near our bed because he likes to stay close to us. And also because we want to make sure he pees where he’s supposed to, when he needs to. Long ago I made the mistake of picking him up when he was whining in the morning and putting him on the bed, to shut him up.
Well, it worked. And he really likes the bed.
When this started, he was crying at 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning. Brian and I have had changing schedules, depending on occasional meetings, changing jobs, and time of the year. So, we’ve never really had a consistent wake up time. Now neither does Bowser. And the little punk has taken advantage of our little bed deal, whining a little earlier each night. Last night it was 12AM.
But this is not why I was upset with him last night.
The other part you need to know is that I have been oblivious to this changing situation for a long time. I have been oblivious to this because it’s Brian who has been pulling Bowser onto the bed. And he does it unconsciously, mostly asleep. And Bowser has stuck by Brian, on his side of the bed.
In the last month, Bowser has strayed from Brian to my side of the bed and begun snuggling with ME.
How cute! you might say. But It is NOT cute. And let me tell you why. First of all, I am really a cat person, NOT a dog person. I love Bowser very much, and much of the time I find him really cute and endearing, but if I had to choose between my cats and the dog, well, you know who I’d choose. And it is important that you know I am a cat person because I should also tell you that I DO NOT allow the cats on my bed. They are shut out of the room.
Why? you ask. Because I LOVE MY SLEEP. And I move around in my sleep. A LOT. When I’m not free to move, I can’t sleep. And having an animal lying across my legs/across my feet/against my side, or even anywhere within my immediate vicinity, prevents me from rolling over, preventing me from getting my needed 8 or so hours of sleep.
So, this is why it became a problem when Bowser began to snuggle. And it’s not even just snuggling. He digs into your side until he has successfully wedged himself between you and the bed. I’ve begun complaining, and Brian grabs him and brings him back to his side.
. . . which brings me up to last night. Last night he attempted the wedge THREE TIMES. By the third time, I’d had it, and I grabbed my comforter and huffed and puffed down the stairs. Only . . I quickly realized that the couch was worse – it was missing one of its seat cushions because the cover was in the wash from Link (cat) throwing up on it that morning. Realizing my big scene had done me little good, I sucked it up and returned to the bedroom. Brian obligingly moved Bowser off the bed.
Of course, the story doesn’t end there, and neither does this blog entry. Because by now, Bowser was used to being on the bed and also used to whining or jumping against the bed to get himself onto it.
So, now I’m lying on the bed, knowing what’s coming, and already riled up. Normally, I’m a heavy sleeper, but I was tense and sensitive, determined that Bowser WAS NOT getting back on that bed. So, while Brian was doing some light snoring, drifting back into dream land, I was the one who heard the faint whimper. I waited. I waited to be sure it’s what I heard. But there it was again. And again. And the vibrations, the bumping from Bowser’s little body knocking into the bed.
I’ve heard dogs respond to low voices. So, I gave him a good growling command (maybe a little too loudly), which woke up Brian and incited him to grab his own comforter and head downstairs, Bowser happily following behind.
This was not happening.
We were having a conversation about this, a cranky, sleep-deprived couple attempting a logical conversation about whether or not sleeping on the couch to salvage a few hours of sleep for the night was a good idea or not. Being wide awake and having a little better grasp of my senses, I convinced Brian of the evils of the situation, the likelihood that this would ensure a repeat scenario the following night. Back up the stairs went we three. By the time we settled ourselves back in, it was 5 in the morning, and I decided just to take the dog out. Brian told me to shut Bowser out of the room, and the two of us managed to get a blissful extra 4 hours of sleep.
Now it’s tonight. Plan A: When Bowser whines , Brian makes him go back to bed. Plan B: Brian is unconscious, and Bowser ends up on the bed, and I get up and close Bowser off in the hallway outside the door for the rest of the night/morning.
Possibly to be continued . . .
I really hope not. . .