Signs and Symbols

Still. . . the birds. . .

Birds are flying over all the time.  And now I’m dreaming about birds.  Two nights ago I faced a large red bird with a blue sheen.  I was afraid to face it, thinking it might poke my eyes out or something, but I kept forcing myself to face it, wanting to know what the bird had to say.  In last night’s dream, birds were flying overhead, and one was a flamingo.  I remember thinking about how gangly it looked flying above me, like a long, gawky chicken.

I believe I’m still trying to be contacted, to be given a message, even if it’s just assurance.

And then today I realized I was getting number symbols again.  I have a great interest in numbers.  A fascination.  I’m always looking at my odometer, hoping to catch a palindrome, and I often do.  I also have a particular interest in the combination 9-11 because of an interesting  story I had with that number combination years ago.  I also like 12:34.

This new combination started with “666”.  Yes, creepy. But then, so is 9-11, and that one turned out ok.  At first I thought I was being given a warning.  But thinking on it, I think it’s just another way the universe is trying to get my attention.  Yesterday I went out for a casual retirement dinner, and my bill for my meal was $16.66.  Of course, the last part caught my eye.  What are the odds of that?  At least the one was in front, though.  So, I just stayed extra alert on the drive from the restaurant.  Then, today, I filled up my gas tank, and what was the total number of gallons?  11.666.  I know it’s not the exact same number — bBut it’s got the 1.  It’s got the 666.  And WHAT are the odds that I have those same numbers in 2 days?

Something’s going on.

I’ve been having some good talks with some of my colleagues lately.  They’ve talked about changes in their lives and the coincidental circumstances that led to new opportunities.  I find myself jealous of their good fortune.  But I realize that their blessing is not mine.  Their situations are not what I really want.  So, I think that is why the universe is not providing it for me.

This is scary in itself — because I do not know what I want!  I think I know what I want.  And I am pretty sure of what I don’t want. . .

And for the here and now I mostly want to know that everything is going to be ok.  Many people have told me that I will be and have applauded my risks.  Of course, a few others are skeptical and second-guess me.

I am willing to suffer for a while if I know it will lead to my eventual happiness.  I am ready to run the extra mile.  I just have to know what to believe in.  And I have to believe in myself.


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