I cried on the drive home yesterday evening. It was a happy cry. It was the feeling that I wanted to be that happy forever. I had a fantastic concert. I played my best yet on all of the pieces, and I did a great job on my solo (despite being incredibly nervous!). It was great getting all of the compliments. I’d missed that. Before I kept thinking: “I’m good at things! I’m somebody! Why don’t people realize it?” I know it’s important what I think about myself. I know I shouldn’t care what others think. But, it is nice to be appreciated.
Brian and I decided to go the after party, and I’m glad we stopped by for a while. We chatted a bit with the father of one of my good friends who got me involved in the orchestra in the first place. He fascinated us with descriptions of the Southwest, the land, and the crystal clear sky. (He said that from his land atop a mountain, you felt your head was in the Milky Way!) And I especially perked up when he spoke of the Anasazi and how he’d explored their ancient dwellings. He moaned about how his family wouldn’t go with him, and I cried: “We’ll be your family!!”
I know someday we’ll go there. I hope to travel across the whole United States. Brian and I have joked about getting an RV and wandering the U.S., but I think we secretly really want to. We talk about our dreams of someday traveling all over, someday when our lives are more secure, and we’ve got more money in the bank.
And I’m beginning to believe that my dreams will come true. I finally joined a musical, something that satisfies two pictures on my dream board: singing and acting. (And I should have dancing up there, too!) And with the work I’m doing in the rest of my life, I hope to fulfill my dreams of being a writer, traveling the world, and everything else!