Exploring my Emotions

ID-100134250I’m learning about my ego and the many aspects of my self. I thought I was just going to have a journey into letting myself experience my emotions and speaking my truth, being transparent. But I’ve gotten more than what I asked for (not a happy surprise – but great for growth!)

I’m learning about myself through other people, not just through self-exploration. I thought that I was just going to explore strong emotions. I was going to let myself feel the fear/anxiety and be present and feel reactions from other people. This has happened. I’ve realized that sometimes I don’t do things because of the physical reactions I have to fear and to rejection. It’s the physical (bodily) feelings that I am most anxious about. They are uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do with them once I have them.

But I also discovered (surprise, surprise) that some of what I was afraid of from other people was actually a projection of myself. For example, I had an interaction with a person that resulted in a huge angry reaction. It was good for me to be in the moment and to experience this emotion. I continue to feel the aftereffects of my fear in regards to this situation and what may occur in the future. (I need to remember to stay in the present moment.)

However, what I consider as the bigger epiphany came from talking with my partner. When I shared about my experience with the angry person and how I learned to be present and feel and how I learned to both accept and allow my feelings and also learned to allow the other person to feel what she was feeling – he told me to now flip that circumstance around. And then I would understand what happens when I get angry around him. This felt like a kick to the stomach. I had no idea how I might be affecting him. I was just so used to my anger and the patterns that I have developed. I now began to reflect on how I joke about how my partner takes the brunt of my emotions. I asked him if he could feel my emotions inside his body, and I was surprised to learn that he does. The anger that I’m afraid of from other people . . . is also an anger that I hold within myself. I began to reflect on the duality of my existence. Everyone thinks I’m “sweet” because I am Jekyll to most people. And my partner gets my other extreme – the built up, pent up “Hyde”.

So, this is how I want to apply this to my life. What I applied and was the most effective was 1. Being in the moment. When I began to fear possibly events in the future — particularly happenings involving other people — I realized that I was having imaginings without having any idea of the place the other person was in. The best thing to do is stay present in what I’m doing and stay present in the event that I’m anticipating. 2. Surrender. I imagined having my heart and actually my whole self fully open. Like lying back with my arms out and my torso completely open. Like, “Hey, world, this is me! Take me as I am!” 3. Recognize judgments as they surface. Recognize them and identify them as unproductive. Accept and allow my experience, accept and allow the experience of others. And not presume that I know what’s going on with other people. 4. Receive first. Receive from the other person. Know where they are coming from, what they need. Relate.

That is all for now.

Image courtesy of Aduldej at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To Know Myself

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I made it a point to focus on my true Self

And now I desire to know my WHOLE Self –

True Self AND all of the many aspects of me.

I wanted to avoid their existence.

I wanted to pretend some of them weren’t there.

And then I finally got it.

I finally understood why we have to love ourselves first,

to withdraw judgement and have compassion for yourself first –

How can I possibly unconditionally love others

when I do not unconditionally love my whole self?

How can I seek to meet you exactly as you are

when I refuse to do the same for myself,

the one I spend 24 hours with?

I am resolved to know myself.

All of myself.

I am resolved to face my emotions.

And to let myself FEEL them.  In my body.

(“Yep!  There it is!”)

I also want to know my thoughts.

I want to know which ones come from conscious me

and which ones come from you

and which ones come from somewhere deeper

or somewhere higher.

I am learning to understand.

And I am learning to give up control.

And to feel.

And it hurts.

Both in mind, heart, and body.

And I love myself all the more for it.

I love my body for taking the pain to help me better understand myself.

I love my heart for being ever ready to feel and ever ready to open.

I love my body, heart, mind and spirit for the magnificence that they are.

I am ready.

It hurts.

But I want to face it all.

The joy and the pain.

Both the anger and the kindness & compassion.

Both the hate and the love.

I am.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Looking for Ideas!

Image courtesy of hin255 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of hin255 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Calling all parents!

My next lifehack article will be entitled “What Babies Would Say If They Had Twitter Accounts.” I do not have any children myself, but I think this topic is so much fun — so, I’m looking for input from all of you!  Please respond below with your responses, including hashtags, abbreviations, (and the 140 character limit!) If you are OK with me giving you credit, please let me know! (Otherwise your contribution will be anonymous in the article.) I’m not sure how many I will use yet, but I need at least 20!

You are loved! ~ <3 ~

-Teri

Soul Song?

Listen to this song. . .

 

. . . and then listen to the refrain of this one. . .

 

 

Do you hear the similarity?  What do you feel?  Does it touch your soul the way it touches mine?

Be an Angel

Image courtesy of mistermong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of mistermong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

That is the image I received today, just now —  that I can be an angel for others, as well as for myself.  That is how I best can image how to serve: to love, to be compassionate, to guide, and to encourage others; to facilitate healing and lead others to their inner selves.  I will be an angel for others.

I’ve spent the last few hours learning about chakras, watching random videos on signs and listening to your guides, and watching Doreen Virtue’s Angel Card Reading Instructions (I have a deck that I bought in the summer of 2013, and I just used is and got wonderful encouragement!).  I’ve finally given myself the time to explore these things that interest me.  I feel so full, so happy, and so light.

I’ve been focusing a lot on my heart in the last few days, on opening the doors of my heart, and on sending love to others, particularly those who I am out of harmony with or not as close to as I’d like to be.  I’ve been experiencing wonderful things.

I want to speak on Mother Mary.  I did not realize she was an Ascended Master; I have always been drawn to her.  I have a beautiful ceramic that I bought of her and the infant Jesus in Mexico.  I’ve also been drawn to la Virgen de Guadalupe and to Mary of Medjugorje, as my mother is.  I also love the Mists of Avalon for the connection between Mary and the feminine, the mother goddess.  Mother Mary was reintroduced to me just recently when I had a tapping/energy session with my good friend Lori.  After the session Lori told me that she saw the Mother Mary behind me.  I was dumbfounded and filled with emotion — great joy and relief.  Suddenly my attraction made so much sense to me —  I must intuitively know that she is with me.   Lori also mentioned that she saw the color green with her, and I read about emerald being connected with Mary — it is the color of the healing arts, and I am on the path to healing, with “tangibility” as my healing quality.  Finally, in a previous intuitive reading that I had with Amy Keast, Amy had told me that she saw a very protective, mothering angel hovering over me.  Now I believe that it was Mother Mary behind me, protecting me!

I am full of gratitude for God, for the angels, and for my spirit guides. I want you to know that I have received your encouragement through your angel numbers and through the hawks that I’ve been seeing everywhere.  You are telling me to be strong and to be my true self.  I honor you and love you.  And I love all of you out there. ~ <3 ~

I Miss This

I miss blogging.  So, here I am.  I’ve felt very overwhelmed lately.  I’ve made some huge changes in my life, and I realized today that I just can’t do it all at once.  Baby steps.  I’ve tried to do too much, and  last week I began to shut down. Thankfully, my body is still supporting me!

I kept having frustrated, angry feelings.  I wanted to blame everyone and everything for the stress I was feeling.  The funny (ironic) thing is that I am the one who creates my own environment.  I am the one with the thoughts who manifested the reality that I face from day-to-day.  So, who was I really upset with?  Clearly, myself!

#3 on my 10 Most Wanted List is faith.  Faith that everything will work out.  My angels continually encourage this.  I saw 1144 today:

(from Joanne Sacred Scribes)

“Angel Number 1144 is a message from your angels that you are to look to new ways to go about getting your work done more efficiently.  Listen to your intuition as your angels are ushering positive energies towards and around you and giving you information about your next steps.

Angel Number 1144 tells you to keep your thoughts positive and optimistic as you undertake an important new role or venture.  Your positive energies, intentions and actions will manifest your expected results. Trust your angels to deliver all that you will need in your endeavours.

Angel Number 1144 encourages you to keep striving ahead, and don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  You are on the right path so do not let anything deter you.  Expect miraculous answers and solutions to appear as you need them.”

It is a beautiful day today.  Perfect weather. I feel more relaxed.   I’m enjoying the fresh air and a fresh start.  I’m brainstorming some longterm goals.   I will be clear, concise.  I will tier my activities, create my own plan.  The universe is a facilitator, not a dictator!  I will align with my true self and watch the magic enfold!

Angels

I received this message yesterday: (looked it up on Joanne Sacred Scribes Angel Numbers site)

Angel Number 1414 is a message from the angels that your thoughts and feelings are being elevated to a more positive state.  Give any fears or concerns of any kind to the angels for healing and transmutation, and have faith and trust that you are being supported, encouraged and guided by the angels along your path.  You are safe and protected  –  always.

Angel Number 1414 is a reminder to maintain a positive attitude  mind-set and optimistic outlook to attract positive energies and auspicious circumstances into your life.  Practice positive affirmations and prayers to maintain a strong connection to the angelic and spiritual realms.  Be mindful of the Law of Attraction as the energy you send out comes back to you.

Angel Number 1414 is a message to be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it.  Stay positive, optimistic and practical to ensure that you manifest what you want, rather than what you don’t.  Building strong foundations from well-laid plans ensures future stability, progress and success.  Put your efforts and focus towards your long-term goals and aspirations and work with purpose, passion and drive.  Courageously step forward in the direction of your true life purpose  and trust that the things you require will manifest when needed in your life.

At each new phase in our lives we are somewhere we have never been before.  Have faith and trust that you have the skills, talents and abilities to face all that lay ahead of you.  You are where you are meant to be at this time.

We do best what we enjoy and feel passionate about.

That’s exactly what I needed to hear.

Dreams

I was able to make sense of my dreams this morning!  The key really is to know what is going on with myself the day before.  If I KNOW the struggles and learnings I’m going through, if I’m aware — then my dreams make so much more sense!

Dreams and Interpretations:

Going up and down hills (snow or something on hills?)  Indoors?  Brian opts to take the route on the ground level.   I stay above.  Way is treacherous.  I’m creating unnecessary challenges for myself, and this relates to being stuck.

I’m looking at the cats and I see Misty!  I ask Brian why Misty is with us.  Something about trouble with Tigger maybe.  Old, familiar habit that doesn’t belong.  I’m giving it safe haven.  (Could be my return to a lack of attentiveness? Or the increased running of the mouth?)

Need to put on (music?)  My cousin is to help.  Is she doing a performance, maybe?  Lots of people around in unknown building.  (And my Aunt there?)  An assured, business-like aspect of myself desiring harmony.  I believe this is relating to my struggles with how to be the best teacher I can be.

Dancing on my parents’ balcony with Dad but a little awkward for some reason. Not an easy flow and not an ease with closeness, though it is pleasant and sweet!  Song unexplainedly stops, so I go back in to house and forget about dancing, though Dad wants to go on.  I am in a place hovering between conciousness and subconsciousness (balcony), and I am harmonizing with superconscious.  It is not as seamless as I would like, but it’s good!  I believe this related to my meditation yesterday, which was wonderful.  However, I cut it a little short, a few minutes short of the whole meditation, thinking I was complete.  I believe this dream is telling me I should have done at least the full 30 minutes.

Scene between woman and Hugh Grant.  I notice her roots are showing.  They are in bed.  Affectionate, but no hanky panky.  Imagination — imagined connection between conscious and subconscious, not complete or clear; and the thoughts have not been refreshed.  They need to be updated.  (Perhaps relating to my understanding of metaphysics and subconscious and conscious mind in general.)

Some comment to someone — between guy and girl of disinterest, not offended, just nonexistent. The need/desire for further connection between the conscious and subconscious minds.

Summary:  A lot of male/female here.  Subconscious presence and superconscious presence.  There are not complete connections, but attempts — making progress.  Follow the subconscious — take the way of lease resistance!  Stick with the superconscious today.  Keep your mind focused on your life’s plan, on the good of all concerned — and meditate for the full 30 minutes!  (Or more!)

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