Perspective

I had a huge breakthrough today on the lesson of “Perspective.”  Years ago I received my Dharma Report.  It told me that I had spent many lifetimes exacting what I saw as “justice”.  Justice is my dharma, or life’s purpose.  However, it went on to say that it was now time to evolve this dharma through an understanding of the Law of Karma (of Cause and Effect).  I didn’t understand this report AT ALL when I first received it.  I was thoroughly disappointed, even.  I had a dharma that wasn’t even a good dharma?  I had to evolve it? What??  At the time I couldn’t even fathom it.  I’m to be an observer?  I’m to let people make mistakes?  I just. . .  watch them. . .  Isn’t that too passive?

But today I pieced things together.  On my morning walk I was contemplating this and other intuitive reports I’d received. I’d heard things like ” energetic constriction of the heart” and “a great love for her  ideas.”  A great attachment, it sounded like.  Suddenly, this morning it suddenly clicked: I have a very strong attachment to my perspective.   Perspective is often tied to judgment.  Judgement is what colors what is.  A situation has no meaning until we give it meaning.  We are the ones who label what’s “good” or “bad.”

Have you noticed that many people talk about their greatest challenges as some of the most influential parts of their lives?  They sure struggled, but they also came out a different person at the other end.  They learned things in a way that no book or class could ever teach them.  They were wiser, stronger.  Would it have been fair to rob them of those experiences?  Do you know the story of the child who cut open the cocoon of the struggling, new butterfly? In the end, the prematurely freed butterfly was not strong enough to fly.

And sometimes we’re just plain wrong.  I was blown away by how many times I was “wrong” on the Camino.  I sometimes misread the map (argued over it, too!), or misjudged a person’s actions, misunderstood a person’s words, or dismissed the effectiveness of certain treatments.

“What am I supposed to learn here?” I wondered afterward, “Is the lesson that I’m not to trust myself?”

It was actually teaching me to let go of my perspective.  It was teaching me openness, flexibility, and letting go.

So, what do we do then?  Trust the process.  Observe.   Listen and receive carefully and completely before we dismiss. Do the best we can.  Offer our perspective when asked or called to share.  Do what we can with what he have.  Experiment, learn, grow.  And then, release.  Let it go, let life flow.

Love, light, and many blessings. ❤

Camino Thoughts: Living vs. Processing

I’ve realized over the last few days that the Camino was meant to be lived.  Now is the time for processing.  There were times while walking on the Camino when I thought: “Ah yes, I’m alone now.  So, it must be time to think.”  But I found myself resistant to that notion. I pictured myself at a laptop, as I am now, or writing at my desk in my journal.  I was pretty resistant to purposely “thinking.”

So, I yielded.  I focused on the way.  I focused on continuing to take footsteps.  On uphills, I sang.  On downhills I watched my footing.  But, often, I flew down, allowing gravity to run down the path with me. Sometimes I distracted myself with random thoughts, so I wouldn’t think about how tired or sore or how hungry I was, or how much I was wishing I was already at the next albergue (hostel).  Other times I noticed the trees, the sky, the mountains, the fields and rivers, the flowers, the birds and butterflies, the people ahead of and behind me.  At times as I walked, I looked in my guidebook at was coming up or munched on a snack from one of my side pockets.  I debated whether to make this next town a bathroom and snack stop — or if I could continue on through.

That was my Camino.  I was in it.  It was me, and my backpack, and the open road.  It was enough.  And it was wonderful.  ❤

Blessings, love, and light. ❤

Camino Gratitude

As you may have heard me say before: I intended to walk the Camino alone.  I did this, but not really.  And I am grateful for everyone who took the walk with me emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  I would like to acknowledge them here.

My Inspiration

First, I would like to thank Goldie Matthew.  I first learned of the Camino at her Motivational Movie Night, when I saw Walking the Camino: 6 Ways to Santiago for the first time. (The seed was planted!)

Father Don Elias

I also want to thank the priest, Father Don Elias, who revived the Camino and whose yellow arrows guided me so perfectly all the way to Santiago.

My Family

I am also grateful for my family, who supported me immediately from vision through completion to readjusting to normal life!  My fiancee made sure I checked in every day and gave me a perfect welcome home. My dad was immediately excited for me and offered me some travel gear to help me on my journey.  My sister helped take care of our pets while I was gone, supported me financially in some of my travel costs, and helped me download Relaxercise, which saved my feet from tendonitis and any other possible foot ills!  My mom bought me the two guide books that helped me set the perfect foundation for a successful trip, as well as my amazing hiking boots, sleeping gear, and other odds and ends.  It was truly a group effort!

My Grandmothers

Next I would like to thank my grandmothers!  My Ukrainian grandmother prayed the “Little Flower Novena” for me every day, followed my travels on a map from town to town, and told me to watch for roses (which I saw EVERY day!)  My grandmother-in-law encouraged me with her Facebook comments on my trip updates.  My Illinois grandmother sent me off with the most beautiful, loving phone message that touched me and made me cry.

The Pilgrims

I am so grateful for the many people I met along the way, some who I met in passing — some who I’m still connected to!  I met people from Mexico, Argentina, Puerto Rico, many parts of the U.S., Canada, Scotland, Ireland, England, Spain, Portugal, France, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Tunisia, South Korea, China, Norway, Sweden, Slovenia, Poland, Lithuania, Belgium, Denmark, the Netherlands, Australia, and New Zealand! (And I’m probably missing some!)

Though I needed my solitude, it would have been incredibly challenging for me to have walked the whole way alone.  I am grateful to those who shared dinner with me, albergues with me, part of the Way with me, or even just a “Buen Camino!” with me!

My Home Community

The outpouring of support I received from the community back home was unbelievable, and I was amazed by how powerful and pivotal that encouragement was for me. Some supported me through texts, some through social media.  I posted updates on Facebook maybe 15 times, and the amount of loving, supportive comments I received was staggering.  I am truly grateful to anyone who was a part of this journey, on any level.

My Spiritual Community

I would be remiss if I did not give thanks to those in the spiritual realm who were with me every step of the way.  Of course, I give thanks to Source, the Creator of all (including me, Spain, and the Camino!)  I thank the angels and spirit guides who keep me safe, nudge me with guidance and teachings, and who support and unconditionally love me through every little detail.  (May I learn to love as you do!)

I give thanks again to everyone mentioned here, to anyone I may have missed, and to you readers, who have also been a part of my journey.  Your love and support means more to me than you could ever know.

Love, light, and blessings. ❤

Reintegration

Still walking a mini-“Camino” back home!  Do you like my mini backpack?  (So much lighter!)

I’ve been giving myself time to “process” the Camino.  But now I’m pretty convinced I’m just procrastinating — and people have been asking about it — so it’s time to get writing again.

I’ve been reintegrating myself into “normal life,” but it’s been a little weird because most of my tutoring clients want to wait to start up again until after I return from next week’s Shaklee conference.  And as far as coaching, I haven’t started the ball back rolling yet.  I’m still looking at where I want to tweak things, as I continue to reinvent myself.

So, really, this week, I’ve mostly put “life” (work) on hold and have turned to my house and other parts of my life.  My sister has been a wonderful support this week.  I’ve continued to do my daily “Camino”, now with my sister for an hour or two in the mornings, which has been wonderful for mental processing.  We’ve also been reorganizing the whole house, a project she started with my fiancee, even before I’d returned!  The kitchen is now the most organized it’s ever been, the living room looks fantastic, and the office is becoming more inviting.  We moved a set of the bookshelves into the basement, and I replaced them with a wall of plants!

It’s a jungle in here!

Another blessing in this transition has been the connections I made through the Camino.  I decided I was going to “bare bones” it with technology and get a very minimalistic plan and rely on wifi.  (This was supposed to be a spiritual experience, right??)  This became a little tricky when I began to make friends and wanted to stay connected with people along the route who who had better internet access.

 

Camino friend: “Do you have “WhatsApp”?

Me: No.

Camino Friend: “Well, you can download it from the App store.”

Me: Yeah, but I have no internet access anyway until I get to the next albergue with wifi. . .

So, FINALLY, on the last day of my trip I download the app, and have therefore been able to stay connected with one of the groups of friends I made along the way, vicariously walking on to Finisterre with them and also bonding over post-Camino transitions and issues.

Me: Weird random question: Did anyone else’s feet balloon up big time after you stopped walking?  I think mine are finally returning to normal . . .

Camino Friend 1: Yes, (Camino Friend 2) is having that happen now, lol

Camino Friend 3: It happened to me yesterday! A little today.

Camino Friend 2: I’m surprised it happened to me but yes, it helps to prop your feet up.  Usually it gets bad when I’ve been sitting for longer than an hour.

Me: Glad to know I’m not completely abnormal!  I’ll have to do that more.

Camino Friend 3: I went shoe shopping in Porto yesterday.  Was kind of embarrassing!

Camino Friend 4: The same Way happened to me as you, as we. . .  in fact.

Camino Friend 5: YES.  The 11 hr flight also didn’t help.  Everything was swelling and getting super stiff.

I’ve also kept contact with my  young French friend through Facebook messenger and also reconnected with a friend that I met my very first night!  I joined the Facebook group American Pilgrims on the Camino (APOC) ® before I left for the Camino, to get advice for the trip.   I was stunned this week to see a posted picture of an American pilgrim standing alongside my Beilari Scottish dinner mate and rose-tatooed Canadian friend! She wrote this beautiful message:

Camino good byes are so difficult! I’ve spent the past 36 days with Craig and Virginia. We met on June 28, our first day, each of us setting out on our own. I met Craig on the way up the mountain, while trying to catch my breath. Virginia and I met up shortly after, taking a small break. Who knew that that first day would set the tone for my Camino. It’s strange for pilgrims to walk together for so long, but we just clicked. These two made my Camino incredible. We’ve shared a unique experience that’s impossible for others to understand. They’re my family now. They will forever be a part of my life and forever be in my heart. I can’t thank them enough for everything. ❤ The Camino works in amazing ways. They came into my life when I needed it the most.

In the past when I’ve gone on trips, we’ve tended to quickly lose connection as the memories of the trip fade into the background, and our lives come back to the foreground.  Here’s to hoping this time will be different — especially since I plan to continue on other “Camino”s!

Sharing this with you has been wonderful.  I plan to schedule a post for every day this week, even while I’m away at conference.  (Keep an eye out!)

Love, light, and blessings. ❤

Camino Withdrawal

It is good to be back at my laptop. I finished the Camino (“The French Way”) on July 28th, 2017.  Today I am back home and experiencing some serious “Camino” withdrawal. I understand this is normal, and it does feel good — cathartic, despite some pain.

At 5am this morning Brian woke up early to start his “Miracle Morning.” I got up with him (though a few minutes later). I stepped into his routine, started a pot of tea, and helped him make a smoothie — and then it hit. As we sat drinking our morning tea I related to him: “Right now I might be getting up, or maybe a little later (though on Spain time). I’d be putting lotion on my feet in the dark. Then, I’d roll up my sleeping bag liner. I’d wrap my big toes, put two layers of socks on, and fill up my water bottles . . . Then, I’d pack up, put my hiking boots on, and often leave in the dark. . .” Then the tears flowed. I think it concerned him, but I assured him this was normal.

Just this last Friday morning is when I reached Santiago. There wasn’t a big fanfare; I reached it alone. Friends had already arrived before and would continue to arrive after. I started the trip alone; I ended it alone — and I think I’d wanted it that way. On my way down the streets of Santiago that Friday, walking toward the Obradoiro Plaza, I heard city violinists played Sting’s “Fields of Gold.” How did they know to play that song? Memories of the first few days and my first walking companions swam back into my memory. My South Korean friend was once again playing the song on his phone for me and my Camino friends from France and the UK, as we walked along our own “fields of gold”, our feet swaying with the rows of wheat along the “French Way”.

I don’t want to forget. The tears remind me that I won’t. I still have not fully processed everything, and that’s ok. Thank you for taking this journey with me.

Love, light, blessings. ❤

6 Days ’til el Camino: Time

Pictured: Our lilies!  Last year I spent an hour or two clearing out dead leaves and brush from our lilies, and I wondered why our lilies hadn’t bloomed, while our neighbors’ had.  Well, it looks like the work paid off — a year later.  Yay, for reminders about divine timing!

Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  And I leave in less than a week!  Last week was a little rough because some fears started creeping in.  And it seemed to be mirrored by my surroundings.  People I would talk to were worrying about my going it alone.

But this week I feel ready.  It’s time.  2 weekends ago I walked 10 miles in a day.  This past weekend I walked 12.  I need to be more consistent when I’m walking, but at least I know I can do it. So far only 2 blisters.  One on my finger from holding a water bottle, and the other from a backpack shoulder strap.  (I think my backpack was a little lopsided from uneven water bottles — gotta figure that out.)  My feet have been great, and my legs feel strong.  Now it’s just about the long haul.

Tonight I go in to check on my Verizon plan to see about communication while in Spain.  One of my last tasks to get ready!  This weekend I will go through my packing list again, make sure everything is washed, and repack my backpack.  I also plan to get another long walk in.

A few people were razzing me about not having a return flight or even knowing where the nearest airport would be, so I finally looked that up today.  There’s one right at the end!  That makes it easier.  I’d like to walk the extra last bit to the ocean before I go, but we’ll see.

I have a few odds and ends to clean up: I’ve been unsubscribing from e-mails so that I don’t have a big mess when I get home.  I’ve also got to return all of my library books and set up away messages on my e-mail, Facebook, voicemail, etc.  It’s coming, my friends!  It’s coming!

17 Days ’til el Camino: Ready to Go

I’m so ready to go.  Often when something big is coming, or a “baby” is being birthed for me, I start to push against it.  So, I just want to get it over with — I want to go now!  But be careful what you wish for, right?  I strategically planned this trip to leave when I am.  I squeezed it between Brian’s Shaklee conference and my last planned workshop (a Vision Workshop in Spanish!)

I’m so looking forward to this trip now.  Part of me is afraid something will come up that will try to prevent me from going.  But I know the danger of entertaining those thoughts.  I will not put my attention on it.  I will put my attention on the journey.

Tonight I finish up plans for Vision Workshop: Part 2 — the first of 3 back-to-back Saturday workshops.  I’m pretty excited about these.  I’m going out with a bang!  (Time to change some lives!)  I also had 2 group Vision Workshops come up for June (1 on a webinar), and I feel incredibly blessed to be able to share my talents in this way.

Down in the dumps today.  The difference was tangible because I have a tutoring student who I absolutely love working with, and I was completely drained for her and was struggling to motivate myself for the lesson.  I think my drop is a combination of all the current stress with everything happening right now: a new, semi-unmotivated student, upping my walking regime in the increasing heat and with an increasing backpack size, and challenging circumstances in the household with my fiancee and I making transitions into new jobs with changing financial situations.

Through it all — no matter what happens — I am grateful that I am consciously working on some serious life lessons.  I’m developing self-empowerment and acceptance.  I’m already learning how to release judgement and accept the beauty of what is.  I know el Camino will help me further with this, but I am transforming wherever and whenever I am!

Life is beautiful.  Thank you all for your support. ❤

Much love, many blessings.